Monday 18 April 2011

On Hyperbole, Hysteria and Fanboy-Freakonomics



I don’t follow Fed Cup. Never have, never will.

Even if it were possible to get past all the scheduling complaints (all of which exist for DC btw), the fact that only the final (if that) ever seems to get broadcast, renders even the most tenuous connection (the type I currently have with DC) almost impossible.

The only reason I bring it up now is because of the fireworks that erupted in the immediate aftermath of Domis “win” over Ana in the Slovak-Serbian Fed-Cup tie this weekend, where Ana was forced to retire (in tears) with what seems to be a torn ab, all after being 6-3, 3-0 up; following which Domi pranced around and celebrated, as most are putting it, “like she’d just won a Slam”.


cibulkova-simpsons

Domi, thereafter, suffered an undiluted-haterade, twitter backlash, and the rest, as they say, is history.

I’m calling bullsh*t. And not at all because I like Domi (you already know I do, and I’d be well within my rights to do precisely that given how “popularity” seems to allow you to get away with pretty much anything nowadays).

I’m calling bullsh*t because I think the reaction is not simply disproportionate – it’s grotesque.

I’m calling bullsh*t because far too many, otherwise sensible people, are willing to look the other way when other, more popular players engage  in conduct that is far worse .

I’m calling bullsh*t because far too many people are willing to overlook similar utterly distasteful episodes from Serbia, who continue to enjoy an overwhelmingly positive tennis image amongst both fans and media alike – nothing wrong with that, I just don’t believe in giving anyone a free pass (I only quote them at all because they’re directly involved in this incident).

First things first. I didn’t see the incident, and if Domi has behaved even half as badly as is being implied, then it deserves to be called out in the same way as it would if JJ or Ana or Woz or Kim or Novak or Rafa or Fed or anyone else did.

What I will say is, irrespective of how much censure Domi actually deserves, I guarantee that the utterly demented HYPERBOLE (and it is demented – perform a twitter search on @cibulkova to get an idea of the abuse) will go on for far longer than it has any right to. Ana’s worldwide (and ultra-nationalist local) fanbase will settle for nothing less. It’s the law of Fanboy Freakonomics. And of the jungle.

Never mind, for the moment, that I’ve personally seen Ana fist-pumping UFEs off the racquet of an injured opponent.

Never mind that we be wouldn’t be seeing even a fraction of this HYSTERIA if it were, say, Kvitova, rather than Ana, the object of Domi’s miscue.

Why even go to hypotheticals? Where was this HYSTERIA when Petko boogie-woogied right after demolishing a hobbling Jelena Dokic earlier this year in Brisbane for the loss of only one game? Was that not equally tasteless, however innocuous the dance’s motives? Uh-uh – not in the Fanboy (and Fangirl)-Freakonomy.

The truth, is neither Petra nor Dokic (for all the sympathy she’s earnt for her troubles over the years) can hope to compete with the overwhelming enormity of Ana and Petko’s worldwide following.

Now is probably a good time to point out that I don’t begrudge either of them that following. On a good day I might even be persuaded it’s #GoodForTennis.

Now is probably also a good time to point out that I find some of the hormonal, bellicose (and in Ana’s case nationalistic) hyperbole that accompanies it to be utterly repellent. And, needless to say, pretty #ToxicForTennis.

Again, I didn’t see the match, and I very much doubt this will go down as Domi’s finest moment. What is also perfectly plausible is that a young, enthusiastic (and not particularly celebrated or decorated) woman simply got caught up in the utter frenzy of playing (and winning) for her country – but, of course, for reasons which I’d like to pretend I don’t understand, she doesn’t get a free pass.

image
Uh-uh. Too late for all that deary. Don’t think they’re interested in any case. Right about now, I’d say you’re five places above Marion Bartoli and only a couple of places below Justine Henin who heads up the Freakonomy’s “Most-Wanted” list.


(Pic: Tennis Grandstand)

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