Russian Love…

It hasn’t been the most ‘happening’ of tennis weeks for a while, despite there being events underway in Moscow, Luxembourg and the wonderfully named ‘If…Stockholm’.

Most of the action appears centred around Moscow. And Marat.

I don’t know if it’s me, but the WTA Kremlin Cup seemed a whole lot more entertaining last year, when Jelena bagged a hat trick of post-Flushing hard court titles, and with it, a much maligned position atop the rankings.

This year, with most of the top ten evidently saving themselves for Doha, it seems to have been reduced to a two-woman shootout between Vera and Jelena both of whom had an opportunity of qualifying for Doha, and both of whom turned in less than inspiring performances.

Jelena eventually made the cut by … wait for it … all of 5 race points, before promptly going out to Kleybanova earlier today.

(NATALIA KOLESNIKOVA/AFP/Getty Images)

Mission complete, though just by the skin of her teeth.

Vera fizzled and spittled her way out of the event with a 6-0, 6-2 loss to Tsevtana Pironkova.

"She is a good player and I knew that," Zvonareva said. "It's very difficult to play against her. She moves perfectly on the court, can hit the ball hard and can vary her tempo.

"I'm not in my best shape now and to beat her today I should have played more attentively.

"Maybe I'm even happy. Finally I will have time to restore my health and start the new season in full strength."

(Sky Sports)

I sincerely hope for her sake, that that’s true. Winning only two games against a player that rarely breaks the three-digit barrier on her first serve suggests more than just a want of ‘attention’. For our sakes, it’s probably best she didn’t qualify in this form.

(AP)

This time last year, Marat reached the final of the men’s event in Moscow before promptly going down in flames to Igor Kunitsyn, This year I don’t think he even expected to get half as far – and as it turned out, didn’t.

He did manage to score an interesting, if not entirely unexpected three set win over Davydenko, which of course, resulted in a hazy blaze of Russian brotherly love.

I thought it would be a little bit slightly different, all these feelings toward the tournaments. It's a little bit different, different from what I thought—it's difficult to explain. The feeling that I thought I would get from coming back for the last time to the tournaments, I don't get this particular feeling that I was hoping to get. But of course it's nice, it's nice to know that it's over—last time [at the U.S. Open], last time in L.A., last time in Cincinnati—just enjoy it. I don't want to have any more stress.

(tennis.com)

It doesn’t get any more candid than that.

In fact, with his thoughts on the calendar, A-Rod’s short term memory, and Tomas’s manhood, it rather seems, these remaining few weeks are turning out to be more about candid reflections than anything else.

I’m not sure what I expected, and maybe Marat’s not that well suited to teary farewells, but I think Tennis Magazine did themselves a disservice with this month’s feature on his so called ‘misery tour’. The content is exclusive to the magazine and to my knowledge appears nowhere on their site, but if you’ve read the latest edition, you’ll know the one I mean.

An odd assortment of some of the more cruder Maratisms, with a front page shot of him sporting those two black eyes he turned up to Hopman Cup this year with.

It’s not that I don’t think Marat is any, or all of those things, the essence of which the article is so keen to capture. It just seems an unnecessarily skewed assessment of a player that managed to be charming, blunt, tortured and twinkly-eyed all at the same time.

This article from September, and recent interview do a much better job.

Only one more event before all the pain goes away.

And only three more weeks before I get to say “We’ll always have Paris…”

***

Meanwhile Big Rob has made the last four in If…Stockholm.

The other three sharing the table are Olivier Rochus, Thomas Belluci, and Marcos Baghdatis. Marcos I have some sympathy with. His recent troubles with form resulted in a dip that saw him drop outside of the top 100. Seeing him at #66 comes therefore, as light relief.

But I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one keen to see Big Rob qualify for London.

Davydenko’s presence is as essential to the event as furniture and subtitles are to a cosy art house flick.

But Big Rob is capable of getting into the faces of most everyone not named Federer, and as such seems to have a pivotal role to play before the curtain goes down on this curious year.

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On Scheduling, “Manhood” and other Marat Pet Hates

"I always thought it's best to give the players a schedule that enables the players to be at their best," eight-time Grand Slam champion Agassi said in a teleconference ahead of next week's Venetian Macau Showdown with Pete Sampras.

"The off-season is healthy for players and the fans—it builds up anticipation for the fans.

"I think the tour should tighten up the schedule, so the top players can play more often in a shorter time. I would like to see everyone come to the table and work out a schedule that suits everyone."

-- Andre Agassi on everyone’s favourite punch bag right now, the schedule

Ok, but isn’t that exactly what the mandatory designation of the Masters-1000s was meant to be about?

Show up at these nine events (and the Slams) -- a total of 17 tennis weeks -- and spend the other, very generous 30 odd weeks, basking in the Seychelles; or, you know, playing some tennis. Selectively.

There is an argument to be made, I suppose, in favour of spacing out that very intensive stint of tennis that begins with Indian Wells and ends at Madrid.

If I had anything to do with it, they’d be forced to supplant that post-Wimby no-man’s-land of the tennis calendar in July, with a half-decent grass court Masters event. Though I’m not aware that anyone, as of yet, has sought my involvement, so you’ll be forced to continue to make do with that quasi-clay-court season they currently have. Nikolay’s most prolific section of the year.

Marat’s brought the issue up before - 5 years ago, to be precise.

"In 2004, we had this discussion at the Olympic Games with [Andy] Roddick," said the 29-year-old Russian who plans to retire next month after a decade and a half in the sport.

"I was saying that the season is too long - we should make it shorter, and the guys, they jumped on me, like I was the one who was wrong," he said.

"So look at all of them - everybody is falling apart," Safin said. "Everybody is getting injured left and right, and everybody is complaining the season is long. It takes six years to realise that something is wrong?

"It's a beautiful sport, so why kill the players and make the calendar basically playing 12 months of the year?"

(Times Live)

This is the first I’ve ever heard of any kind of ‘fallout’, if it can be described as such, between Marat and A-Rod, though am I the only one mildly amused (and somewhat relieved) by his reference to the game as a “beautiful sport”?

This from a self-professed hater of all things sport. Not with a racquet, not on TV, not even a ten-minute kick around in your neighbourhood. Heartened and relieved to discover that that wounded anti-hero act is nothing more than a front, where tennis is concerned. Marat doesn’t hate tennis any more than I do. It’s the competition and the grind, he finds so problematic.

“Everybody is falling apart” this week however, with Juan-Marteen, Gael, Stanislas and of course A-Rod, all retiring hurt in their opening two matches.

Berdych looked set to do the same opposite Marat, pulling up after dropping the first set, for some extended treatment to his thighs and knees.

His subsequent quick recovery (on the back of which he reeled off the remaining two sets), left Marat deeply mystified and understandably unimpressed; and questioning of Tomas’s manhood:

"The fact [is] that I've known the guy for so many years. I've been nice conditions with the guy, and then look at this ? to hold [a] show? Just come on. Just grow up a little bit. 26 years old - Just deal with that."

And there was more from an indignant Safin.

"If you're losing, be a man and lose as a man. Don't pretend that you are injured and then you start running around and start to hit winners, and then pull [your] hands up in the air after winning the match?

…

"I mean, what kind of sportsman are you? What kind of man are you?

"Of course [Berdych] will say, No, I [have] been injured but then I felt a little bit better. He will find 10,000 excuses [but] it is not enough."

"[Either] you're playing or you're not playing. If you're not going to play, so don't play. If you're playing, then just shut the f**k up and play, basically."

"And you're a man, so just lose like a man."

(TVNZ)

And so ends Marat’s penultimate stop of his farewell tour; perhaps a little ironic, that this last few weeks saw a lift in his form.

My mind's still in a quandary as to whether it’s Murray, Daveed or Marat that hits that shot the best. I don’t think Murray’s action’s half as pretty as those other two. And I think Marat might just have the edge over Daveed in pace.

So many memories…

***

So here’s how it is.

Big Rob edged out a truly lacklustre Jo-Willy in straights today, leaving both him and Rafa set up with immensely winnable matches.

Rafa’s looked mighty fine throughout this week, but particularly in that three set blast-off he and Blake gave us yesterday (Is it me, or has the James Blake-Kelly Jones match up seen the greatest turnaround in form in recent coaching history?)

I may get my wish of a Rafa-Soderling semi final after all.

(PHILIPPE LOPEZ/AFP/Getty Images)

And it concerns me not, that Rafa thinks of Big Rob with little warmth, and about as much affection as he might reserve for the Antichrist. If anything, it will add some very welcome edge; and if not, might we be seeing a Murray-Delpo-like burying of the hatchet, culminating in a worthy man-hug at the net?

Not to mention that the stakes have just been upped again, with Big Rob supplanting himself ahead of Tsonga and claiming position number eight in the Race to London?

This match needs to be played. I will not be denied.

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A Grand Send Off

"I was surprised when he pulled out of Shanghai but obviously he has some problem with injury," said Djokovic.

"That's tennis. Rankings come and go, we are all quite close and it can turn around at any time. It's still not the end of the year."

(BBC)

No it’s not the end of the year. There’s still the small matter of those 1300 points he has to defend at the TMC.

But making the finals here will see Djoko reclaim the #3 spot.

And all that stands in his way to achieving that is Big Rob who, somewhat predictably, dispatched Ljubicic in straights today.

Like I said yesterday, I’m quite fancying Big Rob’s chances, but more to the point: Rafa v Sod - needs to happen.

Speaking of which.

(Photo by Feng Li/Getty Images)

No that’s no victory parade. Well it is, sort of.

No Hollywood scripts tonight though.

He lost the match in straights; but they gave him a send off fit for a king.

Djoko let slip to reporters that Marat is to return to his on-again off-again love of mountain climbing, with a trip to Argentina set for January.

That’s set then. Marat’s 2nd career will in part at least, involve the production of personality laden Mountain Mockumentaries/Road Trips/Video Diaries/Travel Shows.

In any order. Or all at once.

But all that will have to wait. There’s still Shanghai and then Paris.

“We’ll always have Paris…”

(FREDERIC BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

I almost forgot. She came through. Two more matches to go girl.

Make that shithouse shine.

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Beijing Quarters (WTA Edition) and some Retirement Speak

Williams praised her 27-year-old opponent and said: "I ran into a girl today who has never played so good in her life.

"I don't feel like I ever got into high gear ... I felt like in the second set I got one break and then I just made sure I held serve so I could go to a third set."

(BBC)

I only saw the closing stages of this match, including that controversial call.

But I can vouch for Serena’s comments: I can’t remember Nadia ever playing as well as that even back in her world #4 heyday. What I do know is she’s long been touted as having the weapons and the muscle to do exactly that sort of damage.

(Feng Li/Getty Images)

She also has one of the more powerful and surprisingly underrated serves out there – something of a rarity on tour. Peng Shuai seems to have this angle figured out on turning former world #1’s into her pigeon. Nadia’s no one’s pigeon, but is all too frequently her own.

Kuzzie’s match with Alona Bondarenka yesterday, was of a similar high quality.

I’m not quite ready to forgive the Russian top twenty female tennis-playing population for that gutless debacle we saw at Flushing Meadows this year.

But if one of these two pick up this title, which is btw now anyone’s for the taking, I might just be persuaded to stop grimacing at them.

In the other quarter, I’m backing A-Rad over Elena.

Here’s why:

1) I’m still not on what you’d call cordial terms with Elena, partly because of her post-Wimby slump, but mostly because of her outlandish insistence that her extended post-Flushing guttural excursion has something to do with not having had enough recovery time.

2) Like many, I haven’t seen A-Rad play as well as this since 2007. Could this finally be her time to shine in the shithouse? Why not? Everyone else is.

She should at the very least be able to fashion a fairly secure top ten position on the back of this showing, but I’d like to see her do so much more.

Finally, Vera takes on Bartoli, after avenging her US Open loss to Flavlova. Flavlova picked things up after a horrendous start (including a comic spell in the third set where Flavs moonballed her way into Vera’s head), but was otherwise, essentially, out of town.

Vera’s capable of some extremely fine things on a tennis court. We’ve seen that both at Flushing and back in Indian Wells. Unfortunately, she all too often gets in her own way of achieving them.

I’ve sort of learned to live with that. I could do without the annoying tick she’s developed of holding her hand up before every point on which she’s receiving serve.

(AFP/Getty Images)

Vera, like Nadia is her own worst enemy, but is still very open to all forms of mental manipulation. A tendency Bartoli seems exquisitely well placed to take advantage of. Bartoli in three.

***

Some retirement speak I forgot to include in my last Marat post.

"I don't think today's match is going to be the key to my deciding to play another year, definitely not," Safin said.

"It's easy to play when you have nothing to lose, no points to defend, so you have no pressure at all so you can just play, just go for it.

"If I was playing and had to defend something, it would be a different matter. I would get nervous at some point."

(BBC)

I still do think he will call it quits at the end of the season, but this is a lot more ambiguous than any of his recent comments on the subject have been

Someone a little less ambiguous, on the same topic:

Mauresmo said on her Web site: “Since I came back from the U.S. Open, I’ve been trying to practice but I can’t find again the desire to come back to competition. I don’t want to rush or force things. (I will take) some time to think before making a decision regarding the remainder of my career.”

(Yahoo! Sports)

I shudder to think I may already have witnessed the last ball Amelie every struck.

Volleying is officially dead . But you already knew that.

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Jubilant Marat and A French Proposition

(FREDERIC BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

Getty captioned this image “Marat Safin jubilates after beating Fernando Gonzales of Chile…”.

It’s the kind of jubilance I normally express at the thought of paying off my utility bills at the end of the month.

Perhaps the right approach given the circumstances. I actually can’t remember the last time he won back to back matches; certainly not against someone as illustrious as Gonzo. Though it does still feel as if he’s itching to leave the ATP party.

That said, a win over Rafa wouldn’t be the most improbable result in the world right now. Particularly if he is in some sort of groove. Or am I now being too jubilant?

This could also prove to be a very interesting week for Robin Soderling, who has much to gain from winning an event like this.

I know Nando-Djoko is the other big marquee match, but I’m rather liking (and preferring) Big Rob’s chances in this half of the draw, particularly as neither of those other two have been that inspired over the last few months.

I know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I haven’t changed my opinion on his flat groundies. It would be positively spiffing, to see him qualify for London, particularly after what happened in RG.

It wasn’t my intention to follow Tokyo this week, but I’ve just realised that with Delpo’s early exit, the remaining top three seeds are all French. Scratch that. Gilles was ‘upset’ by Mikhail Youzhny. (Nice to see him pocketing a win again)

So here’s the deal.

What we have here is a Fedal-less event, where the top seed -- the US Open Champion -- has gone out in the opening round. Of the remaining contenders, I can only see one Stan Wawrinka causing any vexation.

(Photo: AFP/Getty)

I’m not saying all is forgiven, but a win here for La Monf or Jo-Willy might just lead me to reconsider my troubled relationship with French tennis.

Consider all your French bridges burnt however, if you return with another loss.

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Flushing Meadows: 10 Nuggets to Chew Over

Barring a seismic upset, of Roland Garros proportions, I probably won't be posting anything until the middle of next week.

Until then here's ten storylines to chew over, each of which I think could do with a more thorough examination.

Will the Slamless be 'enSlammed'?

Enough.

This debate has got to stop. The insults, the trash talk, while entertaining, do nothing to inspire love for, and enamour others to, our sport.

Me too. I've got to stop.

And something that'll help us stop is if one of the WTA's three most 'deserving' causes, Dinara, Elena or Jelena, get in on the act and put things 'right'.

It won't change my opinion and the perception of most sound and able minded people that this is a weak era. The tennis from which has an almost inbred, sterile, factory farmed feel to it.

But it'll be one less charge to level against the WTA.

The question's not if, but how much of the show will Kimmie or Pova steal?

Most or all of those sound and able minded people I mentioned in the last paragraph are appreciating, at least on some level, the comeback show these two have managed to put on.

It goes without saying that their presence will, rightly or wrongly, draw some or all of the limelight away from the top players.

Good luck to them.

I just hope it's for all the right reasons, and that Pova in particular is able to better upon that 2nd round outing at Wimbledon. Her performances outside of that have been as good as might reasonably be expected. I still sometimes grit my teeth as she steps up to serve though. Which is maybe an overreaction considering the problems Dinara, Ana and Elena continue to have with their own.

Will Federer cruise to #16 with consummate ease?

If his last two matches, and the absolute peach of a draw he's been given are anything to go by, you'd have to think that his run to the semis is all but certain.

The only credible threats in his section of the draw happen not to be threats at all. But rather the other founding members of his 'eight-and-oh' club. In fact Nikolay now has a newly convened 'twelve-and-oh' society under his control.

Things should liven up in the semis when, if all goes to plan rather than to pot, he'll run in to one of Djoko or A-Rod. Based on recent form I'd say it's Andy that presents the greater threat.

Will Murray survive the first week?

Just which high-ranking ATP/USTA official did Muzz snub?

Was it 'FootballGate' all over again? Did he go on record as saying he'd support anyone playing the New York Giants?

Did he suggest that he'd be cheering for anyone playing A-Rod?

Then why has he been shafted in the way he has?

After his opener against Gulbis, he has a likely third round meeting with Karlovic to look forward to.

After which he'll most likely play one of Stan Wawrinka or Marin Cilic, followed by a QF showdown with del Potro.

Assuming he gets that far, which at this point I'm not at all certain about.

Nice.

Is Jelena really back?

I'd like to think so. Except I'd be more convinced if she puts in a good showing at the venue where she normally does so well. I've learnt to treat Flushing as a kind of Testing Ground for her, a barometer into her form.

I've missed the flowing (and supposedly less muscle-clad) movement, and those fluid double handers down the line.

Yes I'm afraid Serbian Dramedy alone will not suffice. It hasn't lost it's appeal, but you need the tennis to back it up. Although she clearly hasn't gone the way Nole has, who lost his Dramedy and most or all of his intensity along with it. Maybe that dramedy is a hidden talent I've yet to learn to fully appreciate, and should really be giving it it's dues.

Maybe that, or her win in Cincy, will help spur her on.


Nole-Ana Well-Wishers Unite..

I dunno whether it's the traditional underdog supporter in me or the way in which both their worlds suddenly seem so unspectacular and devoid of any worthy attention.

Both I imagine. Rooting for the underdog is just about the only thing that trumps my love of Roger's game or Rafa's personality. And ok, Nole's the #4 player right now, but he's the undisputed underdog within that big-four clique.

So let this be the event in which Ana makes a convincing showing well into the second week, and Nole makes at least the final.

At this point both those propositions seem a little far-fetched. But what's a Slam without a frenzied bout of sentimental underdog support?

Does Zeljko need some new material?

I deem it both proper and befitting to call time on whatever approach Zeljko has been taking with Dinara. That 'go with your strengths' strategy may have worked it's wonders in her rise to the top. But this is now a turning point. And she should respond in kind by turning with it.

Things are only going to get tougher with the obscene amount of points she has to defend.

Let's start with that serve. Just don't go getting all abbreviated on me.

Is Vika really the best of the rest?

She makes a strong case. Her Slam results are impressive. And in Miami she's won a mandatory Premier event.

Not the description you might reasonably apply to her closest competitor, her-right-honourable-Wozness, who seems to prefer making finals she doesn't win.

I don't believe she did that much wrong in that loss she suffered to Serena at Wimby this year.

It seems her rage fuels her intensity, much in the way Jelena and Nole's Dramedian-Stand-Up Shows fuel theirs: It can be the making or the discombobulation of them.

So I'm gonna lobby for it's stay. Tasteless though it is.

Like I said in my last post, Womens tennis is all about executing plan A better than everyone else. And like Clijsters, Vika happens to be quite good at doing that.

RIP James Blake? RIP Marat Safin?

It's becoming very difficult to predict anything hopeful for either of these two, and almost painful to watch most of their matches lately. So I plan to do very little of either this time round. Ok maybe I will watch every Marat match after all.

Marat seems intent on retiring, and -- dare I say it -- it now almost seems right for him to do so, given that by his own admittance, he has so little love left for the game. It also makes sense to look for a worthy last swansong during the indoor season rather than here at the Open.

I wish them both well. I just want the pain to stop.

Someone make it go away.

RIP French Tennis?

All change. This is where I'm getting off. The end of the line. The last straw. My camel's heaved it's last, his back's officially broke.

Both my French bandwagons now stand wrecked in my drive, tyres slashed and paintwork scratched. I did that last bit myself.

French tennis is all about style over substance. And French Style no longer trumps anything for me.

I reserve my last dregs of support for Gasquet, still battling the doping authorities, the once proud owner of my favourite single handed backhand in the game; itself now trumped by more substantial and significantly less stylish strokes like Robin Soderling's discuss-throwing forehand.

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Now that's what I call a TV schedule: LA QF Preview

Haas v Safin

Not a problem if I start with the biggest and baddest draw ticket first, is it?

It's not the biggest title in the world, but a win here will set both of them up well and proper ahead of the Open.

With the success Tommy had at Wimbledon, and with it being Marat's swansong, most will I believe like me, be backing Marat. Who's not done anything of note since Wimbledon last year. And who's probably the only guy on tour that's got more fans locked in one of those collective global good-will seances, than Ernie has.

It could happen, couldn't it? Yes it could. Mind you he could also edge past Tommy and go out in the very next round to someone like Dudi Sela. Which would be pants, if you don't mind my putting it like that.

Ok I'll do it. *Deep Breath* Marat in three. Must.Not.Do.Pants.

Sela v Querrey

If Dudi gets through this one it'll only be to put paid to Marat. I'm going to regret saying that, no?

Having said that, he's down a set to Querrey as we speak.

Sam's had a mildishly interestingish kind of year. Little surprised he lost that match against Ginepri last week. But I can't see him losing this one.

Sam in two.

Isner v Ball

Dunno Don't Care.

Isner should get through this in straights seeing as I know absolutely nothing about Ball, and seeing as I'm guessing Isner is probably twice his height.

Fish v Mayer

Still Dunno, definitely don't care.

Mayer fought his way past Ouanna (of RG-fame) and Kunitsyn to get to this point. If you're at all interested.

Oh I dunno, Fish in three?


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Call that a TV schedule? Combined Edition

I really like that Sharapova came through her match against Petrova with such ease, but I'm not sure there's that much to be read into the result.

I didn't see the match (much like the rest of the week, though the quarters and the finals have been deemed fit to broadcast for some reason), but have seen Nadia check out of matches like that in the past. A trait that remains unchanged in spite of her top ten position.

What I'm saying is that, for it to have been so easy, I'd guess it happened again. And if I were to go with what I've read, it seems I'm right.

Not that any of this should matter to Shaza of course, who should be looking to string a set of wins together -- preferably strong ones like this -- in an effort at building up those depleted levels of confidence ahead of the US Open.

She'll play the winner of Venus and Kudryavtseva next.

"Its always great to come back and play someone who's at the top of the game and playing pretty well. I always relish playing the top players," she said. "I'd love to play against her."

(BBC)

Not sure what form Venus is in, but if she is anywhere near the top of her game, it should be a good matchup - I always enjoy these two teeing off against each other. It's visceral, feral tennis at it's best. Not very pretty, but full of the right kind of drama.

"No, not the slice Elena, not even the drop shot, but never the slice..."
(Photo: AP)

Dementieva took out Kirilenko just as easily. I quoted her a couple of days back as saying she was unaffected by that semi final loss to Serena at Wimbledon. Which I think is rather impressive; it would have been so easy to relapse into that slump she'd been in earlier on this year. Also bodes well for her ahead of the Open.

Customary racquet throwing pic - is he deliberately trying to sport that nostalgic clean-shaven US Open 2000 look?
(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

In LA, Ernie went down in three sets to Safin, in a match that despite the 26 63 64 scoreline, was actually quite close. Yes feel free to double take. Not often you see or hear of Marat getting through many of those. But playing so much (don't forget that exho with Pete) has caused him to snap out of that dreamy state he was in earlier on this week, and his recent pressers sound more grumpy. Guy's nearing the end of his career and it seems he can't wait to reach the finish line.

"You're ok kid, you'll do alright" Or something like that...

(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Not that I blame him, of course. With the amount of excess energy he's consumed in those mental outpourings over the years, I should say he's spent. Not unlike Pete Sampras was, in that regard.

As far as young Ernie goes, it's not this loss, I'm just not ready to buy into him as a concept. Not just yet. At his peak I'd put him right up there with the del Potro's and Roddicks of this world; but Ernie's not the first and will definitely not be the last young player that failed to capitalise on his talent.

Looking at his stats, his only result of note is that QF at RG last year. Apart from that nothing. Not at the 1000 level, not below it. Not a single ATP title in fact. Isn't it time he picked up one of those unintrusive clay court titles in Europe? The ones I bitched about a week or so ago, because of their particularly suspect calendar positioning.

It might be better to start with something as small as that. Something that doesn't cramp the style of the big boys, but puts you on the map. He really needs to get that monkey off his back before it burgeons in to a snorting gorilla.

I'd go as far as to say he should have played something like Gstaad instead of LA this week.
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Call that a TV schedule? LA Edition

What's with LA?

No seriously.

For one thing, it's the most charisma-laden tier-two field of psychotic ne'er-do-wells I've seen in a while.

And before your eyes have had a chance to adjust to the luminescence of the awesomeness, they've started winning matches.

Safin, Gulbis, and Baghdatis have all posted impressive wins in the past 48 hours and I'm sure Haas will follow suit as he takes to court opposite wildcard homeboy Jesse Levine.

Noteworthy I think, as the guys they took out (Robby Ginepri, Lu Yen-Hsun and Frank Dancevic respectively) weren't the usual breed of also-rans, you make special time and take special care to ignore.

"Robby is playing really well," the mercurial Russian said. "He is a tough player and it was a well-played match from both of us. I was able to go up a break at the beginning of the second set and that helped me to turn the match around."

(Yahoo! Sports)

Robby, in case you didn't know it, won Indianapolis last week. That may or may not have had a bearing. But in any case, such well-constructed, genteel, debonair analysis from Mr Mercury is a bit like witnessing a rainstorm of frogs and fishes. Just as rare, and maybe a little freakier.

"Now what sort of a Safin post would this be without a pic of him losing his racquet?"
(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Something in the air?

He might still be on a wave of feel-good comeliness after that reenactment of the 2000 US Open final with Sampras, the organisers thought they'd put on to tickle our senses. Safin came out on top in that one too. Frilly nonsense, but also a lot of fun.

"Pete took the loss with good humour, and took a moment to auction off some of those '14' shirts"

(Photo: AFP)

But what about Ernie's win over Lu? Remember Lu at the Olympics last year? One of only a few players able to hand Andy Murray a straight sets loss during a period that saw Murray rampaging through top ten players like they were ranked outside of the top fifty.

Is Ernie's win also frilly nonsense, or a much anticipated start of something bigger and better? Dude's got a horde of fans worldwide relying on him, locked in a collective global seance aimed at jumpstarting his rise to the top. Don't disappoint'em Ernie.

And what of Baggy's win over Dancevic?

(Photo: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

'Baggy' as in Marcos' nickname; not Franks shorts.

That 'look' might have been at the root of Frank's problems. That's dire, that is. That's what comes of an unrestrained love affair with oversized shorts. Which are to gangly legs, what garlic-infused-belches are to witty conversation.

Not to mention the camera angle makes it looks a little like what's left, when Bjorn Borg throws up over Nadia Petrova's wardrobe.

But Dancevic is no slouch (as we all know); in fact, when he's not pratting about in skirts, I'd say he's rather talented. I had him earmarked for much success after first seeing him play in 2007. That it hasn't happened, in no way detracts from the importance of Baggy's win.

The last time I remember watching Marcos, he was being stretchered off court at the Ordina Open in Holland, his face contorted in pain. He's dropped to #146 in the rankings which is simply not on, whether you're a fan of his or not.

But more to the point Marcos, like Ernie and Marat, is that rare blend of charm and organically certified talent. With the US Open Series still in it's early stages, there's rich pickings to be had, and a chance to build up some confidence and much needed ranking points. It's "nice work if you can get it" - and with their gifts, I'd say they should almost certainly try.

Marat takes on Ernie next.

Families around the world have been issued with desensitising goggles, and have been advised to relocate their teenage daughters into one of many specially built bunkers resistant to the awesomeness radiating from LA. Worries persist however, that many may not make it in time and risk not surviving the climactic charisma overload.
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Tennis Hurts...

(Photo: Press Association via Yahoo! Sports)

Well, I don't know. I think he knows me better than anybody else. I would say he knows me better than my mom, and he sees me playing like this.

He just looks and he's like, How you can be like so tight? I mean, he understands everything. He played himself.

Or like he knows exactly what I have to do, and suddenly I'm not doing this or I'm playing completely the opposite game from what he's telling me. He says, I just don't know what to tell you when you're doing completely the wrong thing.

-- Dinara on 'The Zeljko Effect' (Wimbledon.org)

Dinara came through in straights in her opener against Spaniard Lourdes Dominguez Lino today.

I've had glowing things to say about Zeljko, and what he's achieved with Dinara. But I'm beginning to feel about this relationship the way I sometimes feel about Dementieva and her Mother.

See it's good to have someone you trust in your box. Where I think it turns ugly is when the coach's charge ceases to behave as a distinct organism. Incapable of independent thought or function.

She played well enough to get through but not in tune with her #1 ranking. Grass sits rather uneasily neath Dinara's feet, though I'm damned if I know why.

Conventional wisdom says that such a big take back is going to hurt you on grass. As is the inability to move well. Except both those charges may also be laid at Sharapova's door.

I'm also not liking the womens' edition of the Adidas red tee. Djoko looked about as decked out as I think I care to see him (God help us on the calamitous day that Djoko choses to do his 'cardigan'), but the whole outfit is evocative of laziness on the part of the Adidas team also in charge of Liverpool FC's new away kit.


Besides, I think it looks better in black with red sweatbands. Like so:

(Photo: GLYN KIRK/AFP/Getty Images)

Does anyone remember Sampras' second round loss to George Bastl in 2002? Only very vaguely. Safin's 4 set loss today to Jesse Levine, will likely be filed in the same dusty, untended corner. Except it wasn't even on the old court 2, the so called 'graveyard of champions'.

It was on court 18 (the one Jelena referred to as the car park). With not so much as a whimper in the closing stages.

This time last year I had this theory we'd witness a renaissance of sorts as Marat discovers he's not that bad on grass after all. Difficult to see him having a renaissance anywhere after this first round loss. This will most likely have been his last ever showing here. And it hurts.

This hurts too.

I feel for Anne, I really do. So much so that I'm going to post this entire article on her presser from the Wimbledon website.

No defeat is ever easy to swallow but Anne Keothavong was reduced to tears and momentarily forced to leave the press interview room following her first round loss to Patricia Mayr this afternoon.

The British number one, who is ranked 51 in the world, bowed out to her Austrian opponent 7-5, 6-2 and it did not take long for the media pack to start serving up the inevitable, harsh questions.

“You say [you have had] a disappointing grass court season. Obviously is it more disappointing because everyone has seen your results over the past 12 months, and thought great. You haven’t really been able to show them?”

To which Keothavong rallied: “There’s no way round it. It’s been disappointing. You know, I have higher expectations for myself. I feel like I’m a better tennis player, well, now compared to where I was this time last year.”

Of course, the Briton is still trying to get to grips with her swift exit from the French Open a few weeks ago where she was swept aside by the hands of Dinara Safina 6-0, 6-0.

“Maybe that match in Paris actually dented my confidence more than I realised at the time,” Keothavong admitted. “You know, every week, Birmingham, Eastbourne, here, I’ve always been on the back foot. I haven’t really been imposing myself or putting my opponents under enough pressure.”

Then the press really began to turn the knife. “This is not an accusation, but do you feel as though you’ve let a few people down today,” one journalist demanded.

“I feel like I’ve let myself down more than anything,” the 25-year-old volleyed back. “Wimbledon is such a special tournament to me. And, you know, this year especially, I just felt, I’ve overcome so much just to get where I am,” at which point her eyes began to well up with tears.

“Did you put more pressure on yourself, do you think?” another reporter enquired, at which point emotion overcame Keothavong, she lost her voice and dropped her head.

“Can we stop for a few minutes” the moderator asked as Keothavong was led out in floods of tears mustering an apology on her way. It was a heartbreaking moment and served a purpose in reminding the press and public that players are only human. A few moments later she emerged composed and ready to continue the press conference.

The questions did not get any easier. “The way the Brits are going out today, it’s shaping to be a pretty dark day for British tennis at Wimbledon. Do you feel sort of a collective responsibility, or are you solely focused on your own results?"

But this time Keothavong was ready. “I can only focus on my own tennis. That’s hard enough as it is...You can’t guarantee the results as the end of the day, but I think you can definitely guarantee that all British girls have tried 100%.”

That told them.


(Source: Wimbledon.org)

Given her much improved form, the top fifty ranking from earlier this year, and the weight of the nation on her shoulders, the heartbreak and disappointment is at a level most casual observers can't even understand.

Especially revealing is the way in which she thinks the double bagel Safina served her way affected her subsequent performances.

I tend to dislike questions that begin with "This is not an accusation, but..", but the day's 'Foot in mouth' award must surely go to that clumsy excuse for a tennis journo, that sought an answer to the question on putting more pressure on herself.

Not really 'kicking' so much as 'tripping over' Anne while she's down.
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Epic Overload...

I wasn't originally going to post today. But today is the day RG came alive.

I don't normally pay much attention to the early rounds at Slams but it's not everyday you get to see two former world #1's bringing some of their best tennis to the fore.

The day began with Murray putting on another convincing display, this time against Italian Potito Starace; he's still losing his way for large parts of the match, and there's no doubting he'll need to get on top of that if he is to stand a shred of a chance against Djoko and Federer. But I'm beginning be drawn to his philosophy of playing clay-courters like you're on a hard court and hard courters like an old school clay courter.

But the day belonged to Sharapova, Safin and the guy he lost to - a little known Frenchman by the name of Josselin Ouanna. More on him later.

I'm not going to go through the scoreline or the peaks and troughs of the Sharapova-Petrova.
match. The pertinent facts are this:

-- Any remaining doubts I had about the Sharapova serve being a problem were well and truly obliterated. It may never be what it was in the early parts of 2007, but is operating at around 80% - put that together with those firebrand groundstrokes of hers, which are as sizzling as ever, and you have a means of catapulting yourself back in the top ten. No problem. There, I said it.

-- Twas great to see that intensity again. Those Siberian Tiger like eyes. That unyielding desire. Serena has it, but only seems to bring it to the fore in the second week of a Slam. Nadal has it, but you get distracted by how nice a fella he is, not to mention the niceness of his supposed 'rivalry' with Federer. No, it's only Maria who has that singular focus in every single match she plays, even when she's being thrashed as badly as she was in the Aussie Open 2007.

-- Twas great also to see the the return of the 'stink eye'. The look Serena sometimes gives to opponents she doesn't, let's say, hold in high esteem. As far as I'm concerned there's only one other woman on tour who delivers 'the eye' as well as Serena, and that's Maria. Let's just say I don't think Maria and Nadia play Bridge together.

-- On that note, wouldn't it be nice to see Rafa deliver the odd stink-eye? Not to Federer maybe - that'd be a shock to the system. But come on, not even to Robin Soderling? I'm sure I've seen Roger deliver the odd dagger-eye to Djoko. Come on Rafa, it goes with the territory.

-- Nadia Petrova has the most underrated serve on tour.

-- We got a laugh and a smile from Maria at the end of the match. Not the one she gives at countless photoshoots. This was heartfelt stuff. I get the feeling the hiatus may have been a blessing in disguise as it may have reignited her love of the game. I seem to remember her, prior to the injury, balking at the suggestion she might play through to her late twenties, almost as if the grind may be beneath her. Maybe now she really will.

And so we come to our second near-epic of the day. Again, go read the broadsheets and the tabloids if you want to know what happened. Don't think I could do much justice anyway. Suffice to say, it was a standard five setter where Safin cedes a hard earnt break in the final set and with it the match. Except, not quite.

-- Sure Safin lost again. But this was a different Marat we were seeing. I'm really hoping someone else saw what I saw, because I think maybe the fact that this was going to be his last ever appearance at RG, pushed him into bringing something a little extra.

-- And it showed, not just in his game, but in his victory gestures and his body language.

-- No racquets were broken or even swatted that much in that last set.

-- Safin riling up the pro-Ouanna crowd by insisting that lines be double checked, and then immediately finding his way back into their good books by kissing the net after a net-cord that went in his favour?

-- Safin doing Djoko-like chest pumps? Directly at Ouanna? I've never seen him like this and I loved every second of it.

-- Safin fist pumping, at every opportunity it seemed. Positivity being scraped off the courts while they were being prepared during the changeovers. Why'd you wait so long to show us this side of you Marat?

-- Unreal serving. Both first and second serves. Instrumental in those match points he did manage to save.

-- And yet he lost. I'll miss you Marat. Please don't give up.

-- But there was a reason this match was as great as it was and that's the guy on the other side of the net. All I can say is where have you been Josselin?

-- It's about time we had another French player strutting and styling his way up the rankings alongside Simon, Monfils, Gasquet and Jo-Willy. And this guy seems a combination of some of the best of the rest.

-- His forehand is extremely Reeshard like in execution. Right up to the way in which he finishes by jumping up, like he's delivering a stylish, powerful, but very well-timed upper cut. And it's as powerful as anything James Blake hits your way.

-- Single handed backhand watch: Josselin Ouanna. At first I didn't like it very much - he didn't seem to have the confidence to use it, slicing most everything that came his way.

-- But even those slices had purpose. He was knitting a very large, complex web with which to hopefully net Safin with. And those slices were an integral part of that. Check out the backhand slice he passes Safin up the line with if you get a chance. Deftly executed and feather light in touch.

-- Just when Safin may have thought his backhand was the weaker wing. He started producing winners by hitting over the ball. No more pansying around with those slices anymore. This was brutal (his stroke execution is not dissimilar to James Blake) but so stylish. So French.

-- I don't often jump on to bandwagons too soon. But I think I might at least start following young Josselin. Apparently he's beaten up on Jo-Willy on the practice court. Not that hard to believe.
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