Oz: Kind of a big deal, no?

 

Quite simply the biggest R4 match up you’ll likely see at any Slam this year.

No really. When was the last time two reigning Grand Slam Champions met this early at any Slam?

I’ve not been able to find out. Seems to me this is kind of a big deal.

Anyone?

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Fare thee well 2011: 43 of the most fugly, flatulent and forlorn moments of the year

As good as 2011 was (and it was criminally good even without Nole), it was also filled with that quaint mix of fallacy, melancholia, scandal and fuglies (on and off-court) that, in a strange way, does its bit towards holding the year together – imbuing it with a sense of well-rounded closure without which it would just be a string of tennis matches – some good, some barely worth mention.




As far as I can tell, there isn’t a year end list recounting this phenomena. 

I’ve tried to be chronological. I don’t pretend to think the list complete.

Feel free to weigh in if you think I missed something out.

***

1) (Jan, Melbourne) FAIL: Henin re-retires from tennis

Well that blows? Except it didn’t….not quite.

For what it’s worth, I rather enjoyed the few modest successes she enjoyed during the first half of of her comeback in 2010 and felt she was rather unlucky with the elbow fracture.

But when she bowed out for the 2nd time in Aus this year, just days after one of the greatest WTA Slam matches of all time, the pervasive disillusionment and ennui seemed to have rather more to do with that suffocating sense of un-retirement déjà vu, than it did with any purported despair at having lost a much loved (and unloved) legend of the game.

Not a good mix.

2) (Jan, Melbourne) FORLORN: Rafa’s not quite GS

To be honest it sorta felt right that Rafa not hold all 4 Slams – as I said at the time, that seemed to represent a level of perfection that ought to remain beyond us…for now.



But it’s not often you see Rafa slumped sobbing into a towel – not all of it stifled.

And it’s still a little eerie to consider that Rafa got within just two matches of pulling off the holy grail of the Open Era (yes I realise Fed’s been there 3 times too). 

Can’t help imagining how his season might have turned out if he did.

3) BONUS: Up’n never-quite-comers

Perhaps I’m being harsh. Perhaps I’m not. Hear me out.

Grigor: A star is not born. It never is.

Ernie: Not even sure he qualifies as a young’un any more. But to quote one of the best tweets all year, “First he was up and coming…then he wasn’t”.

Milos: Do we really need another big-serving gangloid? One that seems rather too prone to injury, in that all too familiar way gangloids often are? Wish him well, but really?

Dolgopoloved: He lures you in with his kooky, flamboyant and very sexy dance moves, that leave the charred remains of Soderling, Wawrinka and Tsonga in their wake.  It’s a boat load of fun until he reveals himself equally capable of losing in straights to the 133rd player in the world. And I’m not even convinced that Alice-Band is as charming as it once was.

Harrison/Tomic: “Hooning” and outbursts I wish I could term “uncharacteristic” mar what should have otherwise been a breakthrough year.



All of which leaves Donald Young. Yes, he’s an acquired taste, but if he repeats this year’s success after his much-maligned decision to put ‘Mom’ in charge again, I won’t be sorry.

4) (Feb) MELANCHOLIA: Mario Ancic turns his back on tennis.

Now here’s a retirement that really blows.

5) (March, Miami) FUGLY: When 52 = 100

I’m torn between this and this for WTA meltdown of the year.

Ana’s choke (and it was a choke) was truly the fugly-of-fuglies – you’ve got to be very imaginative and very dedicated to put a positive spin on that (many did).

Even so, 52 UFEs from Caro equals over a hundred from anyone else. You’ve got to rewrite Maths itself to make sense of that.

6) (March, Indian Wells) UNSUNG: “When no one remembers your name”

Or even your face.

I’ve mostly given up on Marion ever receiving much of the right kind of press.

It’s true she hasn’t always made life easy for herself (particularly in relation to her compatriots). She’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And she certainly doesn’t feel the need to pander to the media like a trained baboon.




But this year, this phenomenon seemed to me to reach a head when those nice people at Yahoo! Sports didn’t see fit to include even a single pic of the runner up in their widely-viewed photostream (not unless you specifically searched for it). An event some persist in referring to as “the 5th Slam”. 

Try and imagine Petko receiving the same treatment.

There’s laziness, there’s wilful obfuscation, and there’s straight-up disrespect. Take your pick - I’d say it’s all of them.

7) (March, Indian Wells) UNNECESSARY: Dinaroshka’s short-lived and not-so-sweet comeback 

The absurd, one-sided set of demolitions Dinara endured at the beginning of the year were both callous and uncalled for, and should probably be the subject of a UN inquiry into the use of excessive force.

Bartoli…..Kim…..and then Pova: neither defeat, incidentally, was incurred through any great fault of her own, yet she was allowed a total of just three games over all three matches. That’s just mean.

And then, after just one more month, her (what I guess we’d call chronic) back injury stopped her from playing altogether. Few believe she’s likely to return.

Sometimes it’s not a beautiful sport.

8) (April)  CALAMITY: Bepa fired Sergei for some guy named “Karen”

There are people still undergoing therapy for this.

It was like seeing Kate ditch William and shacking up with Tom Jones.

9) (April, Monte Carlo) FAIL: Jurgen Schmergen

Love Jurgen, but his attempts at what I guess we should call “fighting talk” (coming, unsurprisingly, after his defeat of Fed) made me snigger.

Daveed beat him in straights.

10) REDEMPTION: Robin Soderling

Ok, look. I’m glad Robin’s getting the love he is and only now being truly admitted in from the cold with many Rafa fans even now prepared to concede he may have been “misunderstood” (very popular word).



<brusque-haughty-Southern-accent> Just remember there were a bunch of us on this bandwagon first – we’all already took the best seats back when it was unfashionable to do so, and I’m not even remotely sorry that there’s standing room only. </brusque-haughty-Southern-accent>

In order to convince y’all, our guy had to, 1) put an end to two of the greatest streaks in history by two of the best players to have ever played the game, and 2) to then be sidelined by an illness (6 months and counting), one that has a rather nasty habit of putting paid to entire careers.

The uncomfortable parallels with Delpo, where a gruff, suspicious type gains acceptance (salvation?) after sacrificing themselves on the altar of Fedal, are only too evident.

All of which is to say that after a promising start to the year (and two years of laying siege to the top four), Sod was genuinely missed, not just by us hardcore fans, not just by tennis fans, but by tennis itself (and, I’d like to think, his enemies).

Wait, there’s more – he won’t be playing Aus. :S


11) BONUS: “Rafa had a rubbish year”

Sorry, no he didn’t. He won a Slam, reached the finals of two others, won a Masters title, reached the finals of four others, going out in each instance to a guy that only lost seven matches all year.

In other words, the only reason Rafa lost “all those finals” is that it was Rafa making “all those finals”.

You can certainly argue, as many have, that losing to the same guy so many times leaves scar tissue. That’s almost certainly true, but you’ll have a hard time convincing anyone with a functioning cerebral cortex  it would have been very different had anyone else made those finals.

12) (May, Paris) GAG: The Ball-Kid that jumped the gun

Remember him? That poor ball-kid who ran out on court before Viktor had finished putting a smash away?

And when Viktor pretended that was the reason he SPECTACULARLY blew a 5-2 fifth set lead to a hobbling Muzz?

Yeah, that was stupid.


13) (May, Paris) FLATULENCE: The wonder that is AbFab

If there’s an unvarying truth about the tennis season it’s that there’ll be at least one hedonistic atrocity during the French Open and that AbFab will be at the centre of it.

14) (June, Paris) SCANDAL: “I wags when I likes – and I likes when I wag”



Oh get over yourself. Not only have we seen other tennis players do this, we’ve seen other sports people do this. STOP PRETENDING HE THREATENED TO DEVOUR YOUR FIRST BORN.

Rafa fist-pumps with a raised knee, Nole beats his chest and merges his grunts into a celebratory roar.  Not everyone likes that either. I think we can tolerate the odd, UNHABITUAL finger-wag from Federer.

Your faux-outrage is convincing no one.


15) FALLACY: The Grunting issue that just won’t go away

Not even in the face of the biggest WTA breakthrough since Maria Sharapova in 2004. Not even after almost every player asked about it has said, in one form or another, that they couldn’t care less.

16) BONUS: “Maria had a rubbish year”

Sorry, no she didn’t. She won two Premier-fives (one on her worst surface), reached the finals of Wimbledon, the semis of RG, the finals of Miami and the semis of IW.

You can certainly argue that Pova’s game has habitually deserted her at the moments she’s had most to play for – that’s not even vaguely disputatious. You can also choose to speak that little thing known as “the truth” in relation to the Wimbledon final: that every last bit of it was on Petra’s racquet – no one with an ounce of common sense considers Petra beatable that day.

The heart of this particular fallacy relies on making a fake conflation between Maria’s admittedly untimely, disappointing play (about which many reasonable concerns might be expressed), and the idea that this somehow precludes her from ever winning a Slam (about which many unreasonable and downright salacious things have been said).

The latter may or may not be true. But the fact is that, as of now, the numbers simply don’t back it up.



Maria’s tennis may be in the gutter, but she is clearly looking at the stars.

Assume for a moment that Vika took more than just that one set from Petra (who can still go AWOL) at Wimbledon and made the final. Can you honestly not see Pova winning that?

17) (Sep, New York) FUGLY: “…on the inside”

Wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the few remaining neutrals in the stadium ended up rooting for Stosur after Serena’s little episode of self-destruction – the only truly “ugly” thing on court that night.

What hasn’t perhaps been emphasised enough – and what made it worse for me –  was whom she chose to pick on.

Eva Azderaki???  That’s like picking on Little Miss Muffet.

Equally repulsive were the amount of Serena fans who chose to make light of and, in some cases, to defend it – often from the same group that like to crap on Andy Roddick for his “anger management” issues.

Serena is what she is. She has her ugly side like anyone else. She’s unlikely to change very much. She’s gotten enough heat for it. And not all of her run-ins with authority figures have been her fault.

But it seems to me you’ve lost your right to be taken seriously if you made light of this blunder.

18) (Sep, New York) SCARY: The Slap

Not the Aussie novel, but the single most spectacular moment of this and most other years I care to remember. ‘Decisive’ doesn’t quite capture it.



I mostly included it for the sake of completeness. And because it’s flat-out scary.

Understandably, it’s provoked all sorts of reactions, ire and outrage,  euphoria and delirium.

People clearly have  a lot of very strong (and not always pent up) feelings over it – feelings they mostly don’t know what to do with.

I don’t rightly know whether it’s a good or a bad thing – or whether it’s even meaningful to think in those terms.

To this day, I haven’t even been able to trace where the ball actually landed.

Fed, of course, dismissed it as “luck”, a child-like “slap” – the kind of ‘street tennis’ he wasn’t brought up to play. Novak’s supporters (and many others), of course,  marvel at its sheer audacity.

Where you choose to sit on that divide is largely a matter of philosophy. You should be able to see both sides.

In the end, it got Nole what he wanted. And that, I suspect, is all that counts.

19)  (June) BLAH: The Gimelstob/Feli bust up

Noteworthy for the revelation that Feli gets hot under the collar.

Non-noteworthy for the revelation that Gimelstob should get anyone hot under the collar.

20) BONUS: “Murray had a rubbish year”

His post-Oz slump was uniquely icky. He continues to have trouble with Fedalovic at the Slams. And people are right to ‘meh’ over his clean-up of the Asian Swing.

But there’s nothing rubbish about 4 Slam SFs. Or, for that matter, the best clay court season of his career. Next.

21) (June) FAIL: Lynn Barber played at being Rafa iconoclast.

I get what she was trying to do. I just don’t think she got what she was trying to do….let alone the matter of actually doing it.

22) (June) HEGEMONY: “Script-Gate”

I’m told there’s an argument that it would be an existential threat to journalists’ livelihoods and credibility if they didn’t get first bite of the players’ press-conference cherry.

That the only way around this is withholding those pressers from the public domain for at least 24 hours, thereby giving them an ample window within which to work on and release their pieces, well before ‘Boris Blogger’ is allowed to  get his dirty mits on them.

I’ve only ever been partially convinced with that explanation.

What’s criminally unambiguous is how much this smacks of snobbery and hegemony.

23) (June, Wimbledon) EPIPHANY: Pironokva discovers the existence of ranking points outside of the Slams.

Simply astonishing.

So ends one of the great mysteries of life – how Pironkova manages to move like a fairy whilst razing the competition at Wimbledon, but is unable to otherwise win two matches together all year.


This year she made the QFs at Wimbledon and was one of only two players to take a set off Petra. No one was very surprised.

I’m still not completely sure this wasn’t a hoax. But I kind of want it to be true as it would explain EVERYTHING (and an awful lot besides).

24) (June, Wimbledon) UNSUNG: Domi made the QFs of Wimbledon meaning she’s now reached the R16 or better at every Slam.

QFs or better if you exclude Oz. She also won her (long overdue) first WTA title.

I get that she hasn’t the fanbase others do. I get that it’s unreasonable to expect non-fans and neutrals to undergo the levels of ecstasy experienced by that modest fanbase (of which I’m unashamedly a member). I’m even willing to concede that she hasn’t always helped her cause .

I don’t get why such a WTA milestone barely gets a mention by any of the outlets (mainstream and those that like to think of themselves as “indie”). Try and imagine the euphoric whiplash if and when, say, Kirilenko or Pavlyuchenkova (nothing against either of them) makes that same milestone.

Players have inspired cults for doing far less. Instead, this was deemed more relevant.


25) (July) FAIL:  Janko/Nole stage a mock assassination.

Tasteless, yes. Damning? No.

And before anyone brings it up, no  it’s not a “cultural thing” either.

No more than humiliating chair umpires is “an American thing”, or punching your racquet strings to the point of drawing blood is “a British thing”.

26) REDEMPTION: Mardy Fish

I never really got why it was considered “trendy” to hate on Mardy Fish. He has his dark side like most of us (and seems to consider being unable to speak French a matter of pride) – still, the reaction has always seemed disproportionate, out of control and, at times, downright ugly.

In any case, at some point early on this year his image seemed to undergo a transition.

Much of it can be traced, of course, to the fact that he began winning. That usually helps. But it’s also a simple matter of practicality: they simply transferred their bile to a new (and easier) target: Ryan Harrison.

And it all went swimmingly well (for a while): those that would once have pointed and laughed, looked on dotingly as Mardy publicly rebuked Ryan for a childish, braggy tweet.

@ryanharrison92 Those are the kinda tweets that get ya unfollowed...

— Mardy Fish (@MardyFish) November 7, 2011

It was a fair point, but didn’t in my mind seem like it deserved such public censure – older and more mature players than Ryan have gotten away with far worse.

What was more likely is that they’d simply overcompensated in their appropriation of Mardy; an easy mistake to make  in the presence of what they deemed a greater and more obviously obnoxious evil – that would be Ryan, for those still with me.
Either way, there was no doubt about it – Mardy’s stock was up.

The fake-out was revealed for what it was with the “don’t-speak-French-dumbass” episode which is when the illusion was shattered, and all those latent Fish anxieties resurfaced once more.

God only knows what 2012 will bring.


27) (July, Wimbledon) HEARTBREAK: Muzz’s Wimbledon SF loss.

I played the blame game.



Difficult to conceive of this being anywhere near as heartbreaking as the Oz final, which I still maintain had much more to do with his own poor performance.

But the Wimbledon SF seemed to me to underline how far he still has to go when Rafa, Fed or Novak are redlining – or whether he’ll even get there. That’s much worse. Isn’t it?

28) (Aug) ENIGMA: Caro parted ways with Piotr

And then sort of didn’t. And then did, again. Kinda. I dunno.

Whatever. Ricardo-Caro on court-coaching will be one of the early highlights of next year.

29) (Aug, Cincinnati) GROSS-OUT: The worst tie-break of the year

The closing moments of this were probably far worse than even Muzz/Haase. Whereas the latter’s atrocities were at least diffuse, this one seemed to have all the toxins distilled into the final set tie break.

At the end of it all, as if in relief, Dasco squatted down and spat on the court (he might just as well have barfed or blown his nose), an apt way to seal in the EVIL. Nevermore to be mentioned amongst polite society. Or, you know, normal people.


30) (Aug, Canada) NUTTY: Canada did its thing…

And it was WACK.

31) (Sep) BLAH: That familiar sound of itchy fanatics undercutting Noles season.

Whatever took them so long?

32)  (Sep, New York) BEATDOWN: Rafa’s 2nd worst loss of the year.

He managed to wangle a set out of it. And perhaps just the faintest scrap of dignity. That was all he wangled out of it.

33)  (Sep, New York) FLATULENCE: The worst match of the year

Bar none. WTA included. Challengers/Futures....in fact every ITF match played this year.

What happens in Ashe stays in Ashe.

34) FLAT: Li Na and Sam Stosur

Don’t get me wrong. What they’ve achieved this year is MONUMENTAL, each in its own way. Sam winning the USO, in particular, is perhaps my favourite moment of the year. Vindication, for her many long-suffering fans and of their undying belief in her game.

But if you’re gonna manhandle Caro for not being up to scratch in the Slams, it’s only fair that you do the same for those unable (or unwilling) to perform outside of them.



Both Sam and Li are top ten players whose tennis ability is undisputed amongst even the harshest of critics. Both’s non-Slam record this year has been DISMAL. Neither, as far as I can tell, was injured.  In other words, there’s no excuse.

What this also means is you really can’t be that confident of their chances next year (the way you might have been with Fran after RG 2010).

Who would you choose to watch your back in a street fight? Pova would be in most people’s top 3, you might imagine Fran or Marion (who didn’t even make a Slam final) would feature highly too…a few might even pick Caro.

Not many would choose Li or Sam. It’s easy to see why.


35) (Oct, China) FAIL: The journo that dared mention the ‘R’ word. Roddick was having none of it.

And no, this wasn’t a “cultural thing” either. We really need to stop confusing flat-out blunders with culture.

36) (Nov) BLAH: Nole’s season finally caught up with him

He pulled out of Paris for which he was flayed alive, and then bowed out quite timidly in London.

No one was very surprised.

37) (Nov, London) UNDERWHELMED:  The ATP WTF photo shoot blew

After the Abbey Road and Downing St., I’m, frankly, kinda outraged a bigger fuss hasn’t been kicked up over how rubbish this was.

38) (Nov, London) OUCH: Rafa’s worst loss of the year

The score was true. Just like the man said.

39)  BONUS: “I saw her first…No I did…No me….Me”.

Major, MAJOR peeve. Apologies in advance for going on for so long.

Every time we get a new talent emerging – and especially when they have their breakthrough the way Petra did this year –  we seem to get a rush of self-satisfied morons who claim to have been in attendance many years ago when talent-x (then a scraggly looking teen) went out in round two of a Challenger event so obscure it probably doesn’t even exist anymore.

The obscurity is deliberately selected and is in direct proportion to the accolade you are now expected to confer upon them for having “a good eye”, as well as being more generally awesome than you in all other respects. No – it’s actually that infantile.

Think of it as their vicarious version of the rags-to-riches tale. Their moment to bask in the radiance of talent-x’s reflected glory.

They remind me of those knobs that sometimes turn up on the IMDB message boards claiming to be Johnny Depp’s 2nd cousin.

What are you – nine years old?



Firstly, NO ONE CARES that Petra was your, my or anyone else’s “discovery”….like, at all. Whatever brownie points they think they might be accruing with these (not even that fanciful) tales don’t seem worth it somehow. Most of us stopped doing this sort of thing at the age of 10.

Secondly,  most people I know make it a rule to disregard anything not immediately verifiable  – the outlandish and the not so outlandish.  So even in the unlikely event that their little unmagical fairy tale turns out to be true, it’ll be treated as guff. And it’ll be entirely proper that it be treated as guff. Most of us learnt this lesson early on in life. 

The most frightening aspect of this pre-school behaviour is that it’s exhibited by relatively mature people of a certain age – people that seem well grounded in all other respects, but who then suddenly, mysteriously, take leave of their senses.

Takeout: Pics (and preferably links), or it didn’t happen. And I doubt anyone will care even after that.


40)  (December) CLOAK AND DAGGER: Why exactly did it take so long to appoint an ATP boss?

This one had all the political intrigue and mystery of a bestselling spy novel.

Ian Ritchie was wikileaked before any official announcement – that kinda scuppered things.

Krajicek was deemed short on business experience by Federer. But what role did the discovery that he follows the unsavoury Islamophobe Geert Wilders on Twitter have to play?

Then, with only 9 days of this year left, we suddenly hear someone called Brad Drewett has been appointed.

He seems, from what I can tell, to have  the right blend of business and tennis experience. Which kinda begs the question, where’s he been all this time?

It seems, to put it charitably, like something they cobbled together at the 11th hour. Or, to put it less charitably, an appointment of last resort.

41) FUGLY: Fed 2nd only to Nelson Mandela

Not that I have any trouble accepting that Federer (or any one below him on the list) should be “liked” or “respected”.

All the same, this made me hurl. And I make no apologies for it.

It would be no different if it were Rafa, Novak or any of the other top 10 most "liked, respected, admired and trusted" world leaders juxtaposed alongside a lifelong activist who forsook all the pleasures of life most of us take for granted in favour of a struggle for freedom and equality that cost him almost 30 of the best years of his life.

But perhaps that's the fault of the survey and iffy sounding metrics like "liked" and "admired".

In any case, the survey also uncovered that older respondents tend to be more critical (not surprising), as do Latin Americans (really?); women tend to be drawn to corporate figures (although also more critical of the female ones) whilst men favour sports stars. World leaders don't fair particularly well at all.

Not to be a spoilsport, but all of that seems far more compelling.


42) FOLIE DE-GRANDEUR: Trial by Noah

Every year an ex-player (not always a legend) makes a tired bid to make themselves relevant again.

This is mostly harmless (if a little embarrassing) and usually takes the form of making the most outrageous picks and forecasts imaginable. It’s something of an annual pageant.

”Fed will never win a Slam again”, “Rafa’s washed up”, “Novak has peaked”, “Murray will win multiple Slams”…that sorta thing.



This year that role was filled by Yannick Noah, who chose to crap not just on Rafa, not even just on Spanish tennis….but on all of Spanish Sport.

It was, to put it mildly, in a class of its own.

There’s kangaroo courts. There’s the many layers of hideous-kinky that lie below that. And then (and only then), do we get to the lowest depths  of farce and ego-mania that is the ‘Trial by Noah’.

43) FOLIE DE GRANDEUR: Martina Hingis and the (incessant whiny) tale of the on-again-off-again Olympics mixed-doubles partnership.

First it was “leaked” that Fed’s people had approached her. Then she denied any such thing had happened. Then it seemed to be on-again. And then it didn’t.

By now, most had lost interest and were willing and wishing it would remain “off-again”. Permanently.

The same might be said of all those insufferable “teasers” that would seem to indicate she may be persuaded to compete in Oz. Singles, doubles, I really don’t care.

Only Mc-Wozil-Roy, inspire more tepid and vacuous thoughts. And sometimes, I’m not even sure of that.

The moral of the tale must surely be how it’s possible to kill what might have once been a credible story by running it again, and again, AND AGAIN,  through the rumour mill.

And if there’s a “story” here at all, it’s that this was THE MOST BORING NON STORY OF THE YEAR.
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USO: Week one Round Up

1) “The match that must not be named”

This one was so bad I still have hangover as I write this.



Quite baffling to realise that up until this match I hadn’t seen very much of Robin Haase. I knew he was an edgy, flamboyant talent who’d been sidelined rather a lot by injury. Beyond that I had heard murmurings of his being a head case.

I now want to “unsee” him.

Not that Murray has anything to be proud of. Nothing these two can do will ever live this down.

We don’t need to analyse  sh*t like this unless we’re interested in what happens when the laws of nature and the moral fabric of the universe break down.

What happened in Ashe stays in Ashe.

2) “Donald not-so-Young”

I suspect my perspective on Donald Young’s journey (there’s a euphemism)  is somewhat different to most Americans. I’ve heard of the brattiness, the run-ins with the USTA, the complexities arising from his parental coaching relationship, of course, but it seems the impression left by this simply hasn’t been as affecting as it has for many on the other side of the pond. Only natural.



Most of the time I simply couldn’t care less, figuring he’s either not worth bothering with or will come of age in his own time.

Amongst other things, this meant I was prepared to vouch for his game without having to disentangle myself from the politics and the snark that I guess is part and parcel of following (and being let down by)  a home grown talent – especially one that makes life so difficult for himself. What I don’t understand is snark for the sake of snark, particularly when it comes from those without any such domestic ties.

When he beat Murray earlier this year, he was mostly derided as ‘Donald Duck’. And Murray was ripped on for losing to ‘Donald Duck’. Few seemed to think it might have had anything to do with his game. 

He didn’t follow up. Very few expected him to. Heavens knows if he’ll do it this time  – I’m not completely sold on the “kid grew up” narrative, he may simply have had another good week. Besides, a 32-year old grinder isn’t the strongest competition.

But that defeat of Murray wasn’t a fluke. And neither is what we’ve seen this past week. And if (heaven forbid) he goes on to beat Murray again in R4, that won’t have been a fluke either.


3) “Dearth, not Death”

If you’ve been paying attention recently, you’ll have heard rather a lot on how tennis is supposed to be “dead” in all of the Grand Slam hosting nations, with the exception, I guess, of France. 




I’m not gonna argue with that. That GB, Aus and the US are going through something of a dry spell talent-wise is common knowledge. Most of what you hear about it, however, is little more than blather. The kind of lazy, cliched blather that more usually goes along with talk of grunting, fist-pumping, and the rankings system.

A dearth is not the quite the same as death: of the 4 American WTA teenyboppers making noise this week, only one, Madison Keys, is ranked outside of the top 400 – two  others are ranked in the top 100 (McHale at #55) with Sloane Stephens hovering just outside at #106.

Were they not to have made a splash this week, were you not nerdy enough to know their rankings and were you to have gone on headlines alone, you simply wouldn’t have known that.

4) Venus Williams

By now we will all have heard that Sjogrens Syndrome is a chronic auto-immune disorder in which the white cells attack the body’s own moisture producing glands. Symptoms include debilitating fatigue and joint pain.

We also know that there is no cure.



With a diagnosis as sobering as that, “Get Well Soon” well-wishes can seem woefully inadequate. A quick Wikipedia search will tell you that you don’t always “get well” from something like this – “symptom management” sometimes being the only option.

Venus has been an iconic feature of the tennis landscape for over a decade.

There’ll be hordes of melancholic fans whenever her career comes to end, whether that’s through ill health or it simply running its course.

Worth remembering, however, that we know next to nothing on how acutely she’s affected. Auto immune illnesses usually have a wide range of severity. Let us hope her case is moderate.

The other thing is that “symptom management” is not always as dreadful as it sounds.  True that this can entail coping with, rather than freeing oneself of, a chronic illness – but it’s also true that the effects of that illness may be mitigated by lifestyle adjustment in less severe cases.

The real question is whether that’s sufficient to compete as an elite athlete in the sport she loves. Doubtless many will desire precisely that. But like a certain 22-time Slam Champion says, her first priority must be to regain her health – with or without tennis. No true fan should wish for anything less.


5) Li No and Petra KvitOver

Never have I felt so wrong about being right :(


Anyone that had been following both players this past year knew there would be a certain amount of “decompression” following their respective Slam epiphanies. My own view was that they were unlikely to reach the quarters and would probably end up going out in an unspectacular tussle in some forgotten corner of week one.

Yes they're both hit and miss. Yes they're both still reeling from the after effects of winning a Slam. Still, a first round exit for two top 10 Grand Slam Champs is unacceptable.


6) Serena v Vika – Match of the tournament.

The first set of this was Serena at her uber-intimidating best. As always, she was out to make a statement – Vika was mere collateral damage and barely managed one game.


The second set was likely the best you’ll see over the entire fortnight.

Some of Vika’s returns of serve may well go on to be remembered as the best tennis of her career. As always her fans are left to rue the fact that where others get serendipity, Vika gets…Serena Williams.

Try and think of the first player that came to mind as drawing the short straw when Serena’s #28 seeding was announced…..YEAH.

No, it doesn’t even surprise me anymore.
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A Statement on the recent events in Canada

Can you guess? Can you guess which country, which tournament cannot, will not, be swayed from “doing its own thing”?

I give up. Everything I said yesterday about explaining or not explaining is gunk. We may as well ask the Cookie Monster for his opinion – you could do a lot worse.

The #newrogerscupslogan hashtag (which you really need to look at if you haven’t already)  is total win, so completely expressing the feelings I might have vented had I been conscious. 

The casualty list of Caro, Murray, Delpo, Rafa and Kim, now extends to Li, Pova, Petra, Fran and Fed, who saw fit to win only a single game in the final set of his loss to Tsonga. The funny thing is I don’t know if we can blame any of them.

I said lightening and/or Jo-Wilfried doesn’t and wouldn’t strike twice. I was wrong. Or, at least, it does in Canada. And I bet if you waited long enough, it would strike again…and again…and again…in the same place, several times over. All against the wonderfully resonant backdrop of the blue screen of death and under a hail of broken light bulbs. For that, apparently, is how Canada rolls.

So now we know.

Either we’re in urgent need of updating our Canadian stereotypes, or this is Canada’s most audacious bid for attention since…..yeah.

Even Serena was to lose a set before bringing down Zheng and, one can only hope, the Antichrist along with her.

You’d think Serena and Novak should now, by rights, sleep walk their way to the title. Except Canada don’t deal in rights. Or wrongs. Or pretty much any type of consciously (or subconsciously) imposed order.

For all I know Roberta Vinci will probably win.

All that’s left is to book passage on the fastest plane, train or camper van out of here and on to Cincy.

And to deliver a standing ovation to the only people who seem to have had the foresight to plan against the chaos before the event even began, and wanted no part of it. I think we can all agree that they were on to something.

Well played Venus Williams….Well played Robin Soderling….Well played Andy Roddick.

Your judgement and various ailments do you credit.

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WombleTown: Assorted, Unhelpful, Unholy Thoughts

 

Braindump of various (unholy) thoughts…….GO.

-- “Isnut Redux” will be over in under 3 hrs, with Isner winning, very likely, in straight sets. Meh.

-- Isnut aside, Fed’s draw looks like a snapshot from 2005.

-- Progress at an event being inversely proportional to points being defended....Berd goes out in week one. Perhaps even to Donald Young.


-- Murray just had his best FO ever. His Queens match against ARod was likely the best he’s ever played. Anywhere. Winning Queens in its entirety was, on the other hand, a clear case of not knowing when to stop, in the foulest of taste, and amounts to cashing in his chips too early. Just a feeling I can’t seem to dismiss.

-- Fernando Gonzalez in a GS draw: thine eyes doth not deceive thee

-- Federer/Nalbandian scheduled to meet in R3: thine eyes doth not deceive thee

-- New game: Pick a farce, any farce. Chances are AbFab’s already done it, or will find a way of doing it before the end of week one. Expect Milos to get very pissed off, which ought to be interesting as I’m not familiar with that phenomenon.

-- Point and laugh all you want, but I can totally see Rafa going down to Delpo (R4) or Berd (QF).

-- James Ward will continue his Union-Jack-coloured epiphany, and come close to knocking out Michael Llodra, before the latter remembers how great he is at coming through these early round, 5-set (late night) raves. Needless to say, he'll go out meekly in his next match.

-- “Pova is the favourite”. Playing her best post-shoulder-op tennis certainly, but favourite? [in my best, whiney call-waiting voice] “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know what that word means – please try again later…”


-- I’m looking for a strong run from Serena, but I don’t expect her to win it. It’s simply been too long and the health scare is not something she’s ever had to contend with. Venus represents the more intriguing choice…..

-- Can *just* about see Marion preventing Serena from reaching the quarters. Just. And she’ll need to be lucky.

-- Out of Tsvetana (SF), Kaia (QF) and Petra (SF) – last years result in brackets – only the latter has a chance of not being plunged into rankings free-fall come two weeks time. Which probably means the exact reverse will take place.

-- Incidentally, why is no one talking about Kaia Kanepi? All I’m saying is there’s a lot of hoopla surrounding, say, Tsvetana (who I like btw), who’s only won 4 matches in the 14 events she’s entered since Wimbledon last year.

-- Since the media have done a bout turn and are suddenly shitting on Caro as an early “flameout”, almost as forcibly as they plugged her in RG – I’m gonna put myself out there, and say that she’ll do “great things”. Only, there’s a small chance that most of them take place in the first week.

-- Make no mistake about it: by far the absolute worst thing that could happen next week, is for Li Na to exit the party early. All those euphoria-tinged RG epilogues on how she might now be ready to make good on her talent, will look like nothing more than romantic fallacies. I’ve seen it happen to better players. Of course it may not happen at all. Except it might.

-- Declare thy allegiance then (remembering to balance romance with actual credibility). Here’s mine: Murray, Sod, Fed, Nole (in that order)…..Marion, Pova, Venus, Li, Serena, Petra, Yools (in that order)…..GO.
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Roland Garros: Weekend Winners

Congratulations Rafael Nadal on securing your 6th RG Title and tying Bjorn’s record.




I honestly didn’t think you had it in you this year – perhaps not even make the final. For shame. How very callous that seems in retrospect.

OF COURSE you would find your mojo against Robin Soderling. Whatever made me think that wouldn’t happen? Well, since you ask – maybe that your win over Ljubicic was the worst I’ve ever seen you play in a RG match you’ve gone on to win (in straights as it turned out). Maybe that, in spite of seven finals, you hadn’t looked yourself all year. And I still think at least one of the two clay court losses to Djokovic demonstrates that. That’s my defence anyway.

The win over Murray in the QFs was, of course, impressive, but only in the final did you come to resemble the player that represents the rule rather than this “dabbler” with the exception. As you yourself indicated, you were a little lucky that Fed blew that 5-2 lead in the first set, but from then on in, the familiar motifs of creating offence from defence, maintaining an impeccable depth that’s been AWOL all year, and making Fed play that dreaded “one extra ball” were only too evident.

Rafa indicated several times in his presser how a win attained after such a struggle is that much sweeter (than, say, one in which he won the final for the loss of only four games). Still, I think this quote goes right to the heart of his troubles this year.

“Well, the real Rafa is both the Rafa who wins and the Rafa who plays well and the Rafa who suffers and doesn’t play that well…These two Rafas are real Rafas. The most positive thing is that I was capable of reversing situations and keeping a good attitude in order to reverse the situation.”

Like I said last week, the 1.3 Billion people narrative starts to lose some of its mystique once you’ve heard it 1.3 Billion times. Even so, its significance should be clear – you couldn’t understate it if you tried.



Couched between all the fevered reaction about the future of the Chinese tennis “system” (in every sense of the word), the various competing corporate concerns and the quest to put tennis on the map of the fastest growing economy, is an essential truth that has, rather sadly, been overlooked all too often – that Madame Li is an impeccable tennis player.

I defy you to find sweeter, better-timed, more crisp groundies anywhere on tour. And that’s before you even get to the textbook action, videos of which should be used as a teaching aid.

The talent’s always been obvious, but I didn’t think she had it in her to hold it together mentally  for 7/7 Slam matches. I still don’t – sorry, but there’s simply been too much evidence to the contrary [Not that I would mind being proved as wrong about her as I was right about Franny].

Finally, little disappointed we didn’t get to see hubby Jiang Shan on court during the trophy ceremony. I was keen to see whether it would garner as much coverage as Brian Lynch and  Jada did – because, you know, other players have families too.

But then again (comical pressers aside) that’s never been their style. Her speech was similarly understated, leaving many glam0-philes uncomfortable and disappointed. I found it a refreshing change.

(Pics: getty)

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Oz: History vs. Destiny

 

 

For my part, I thought the way Li Na played the final was a mirror of the way she played her semi final versus Caro….but just like the mirror everything appeared inverted.

 

 

She started off rip-roaring well and seemed to be up a set before my eyes had adjusted to the morning light (8am on a Sat morning…a little understanding, please) – not that different to the way she closed out Caro.

 

Kim, all the while, seemed thrown off, jittery, confused.

 

And then midway through the second set – just two or three games away from the biggest win of her life and actually making history – Li started to give way. Not all at once, but with subtlety, piece by piece, layer by layer, it all unravelled leaving a completely different flavour of match.

 

Most of the dysfunction began with her volleying – or to be clear her drive-volleying.

 

To be fair, I actually think Li volleys, not completely adeptly, but well enough. And she’s at her best when she doesn’t think. She said so herself. That probably flies in the face of convention  – but it seems to work for her.

 

 

Which makes it all the more surprising, that she seemed almost to be overthinking some of those drive-volleys: it got to the point where you’d find yourself pleading for her to put away a conventional volley badly, rather than her preferred drive-volley right back in the path of Kim who didn’t need a second invite.

 

No secret it’s not the result I was looking for (certainly not the bigger story), but is on some level at least, the right result.

 

Kim came into the event being touted the favourite (rightly). And once it all began, was, like Djokovic, the best player in the draw.

 

Within minutes of her win, there was talk of her already being halfway to a Rafa-Slam (far be it for them to be dissuaded by inconvenient facts like that not actually having happened yet) – talk which I’m finding all rather difficult.

 

Leaving aside the fact that neither of the Williamses are done just yet, for all her gifts, Kim is still prone to inexplicable episodes of jitteriness – it was there in a lesser form this fortnight with seemingly spontaneous mini-streaks of double faults and UFEs. Not all that sure that translates to winning 7 out of 7 matches on either grass or clay – not her most effective surfaces as the best of times.

 

Earlier in the week, she signalled this might be her last full year on tour: that doesn’t give her many more chances.

 

For now however, she’s rightfully (Serena’s injury not withstanding) considered the best player on the planet and will, in all likelihood, capture the #1 ranking at some point this year.

 

Something tells me that might be enough for her.

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Oz: Destiny

 

1 day…..20 hrs…….32 mins…….43 seconds.

 

THAT……is when this Slam……..will end.

 

 

126 matches of professional tennis, most of which you won’t ever see, can’t ever prove were even played out, and for all you know probably only existed in a transient tangential Donnie-Darko type corrective universe.

 

One that will cease to exist the second after Li Na and Andy Murray fulfil their destiny.

 

I never did get round to blogging that Li/Caro match. It made for difficult viewing. It also made for incredibly inspiring viewing once Li came alive in the closing moments of that 2nd set.

 

 

Li’s groundies are dynamite. Technically perfect dynamite.  Caro still struggles to keep the ball in court on the rare occasion she tries to crack a winner. Tell me something new.

 

My own little theory for why she was in Murray’s box during his semi final today:

 

Muzz: “So, I saw you in my players’ box today [grins dorkishly] - it felt cool.”

 

*steamy music*

 

Caro: “Well….[breaths deeply]….I’m not normally the kind of girl that does this sort of thing…”

 

Muzz: “Go on….”

 

Caro: "[sighs]…even now I’m not comfortable asking you this [flutters eyelashes]…”

 

Muzz: “GO ON…”

 

*record scratching noise*

 

Caro[deadpan]:  “For a guy that isn’t [airquotes with fingers] ‘about the winners’, you win, like, a lot of matches – I need to know how that works…”

 

Muzz: …

 

 

Caro’ll never be “all about the winners” the way Li and other WTA big guns are – that’ll never be “her thing”.

 

 

But with a retirement bloodbath less than 20 months away (Venus, Serena, Roger, ARod, Kolya, Kim, amongst others – I’m doing ‘denial’ right now so I’m at ‘acceptance/hope’ in time for the 2012 Olympics) and with the players left to fill the void, you’ve got to think “her thing” will probably be enough to win a Slam….at some point.

 

I can see I’d better define what precisely“her thing” is: quite simply, being the best defender in the game (JJ used to be that once remember? That didn’t stop us from predicting a Slam for her).

 

And even though that’s (clearly) not quite what we expect or even desire from a world #1, it’s not half bad an asset. Besides, I’m kinda tired of the grinder storyline. She is what she is.

 

But back to Li.

 

 

Let there be no illusions about just how big this would be if she does manage to pull this off. Your expression tells me you already know that. Ok then.

 

And yeeaaahhh, alright – she’s probably not playing for “king and country” in much the same way as Muzz is claiming it to be more of a “personal glory” thing too. (Good luck selling that to the papers)

 

I have to say, I don’t completely believe either of them. Not that they haven’t likely successfully convinced themselves of what they’re saying.

 

I just don’t think you can, in Li’s case at least, completely blot out the hopes, desires and fears of 1.3 billion people that have never had a player even contest the finals of one of these gigs before.

 

We already know something of her love for them with the charity work she does – that has to leave some kinda carbon footprint on your psyche.

 

You can try and play it down, you can try and shake it off. You can’t pretend it’s not there.

 

 

Glass half empty:

 

If she plays as dissolute a match as she played against Caro in the semis, Kim mows her, or rather she mows herself down. In straights.

 

Glass half full:

 

Li’s been astonishingly accurate since the season began which, as we all know, is astonishingly out of character for her. Maybe this really does have a sense of “destiny” to it the way Fran did at RG last year – I have to say I didn’t really see it when people were suggesting it earlier on this week.

 

Maybe a more contained, less error-prone version of Li will only continue to exist for the span of time it takes to win this thing before collapsing in on itself the way Donnie’s tangential universe did – but only after allowing him to set things right for everyone (assuming at least some of you have seen the film?), in this case over 1.3 BILLION PEOPLE.

 

If the Caro semi-final was her one dud – then I’d say she’s got it out of her system.

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Oz: Another Slam. Another QF exit.

 

 

 

 

The sight of Vika getting out hit in a Slam by an experienced, feisty firebrand is sadly becoming all too familiar.

 

I’ve, frankly, never had a problem with her being one-dimensional – Soderling’s shown us the utter folly of ever underestimating someone for that.

 

But while Vika is devastatingly effective against 85% of the competition, she does seem to occupy a precarious middle ground where she can’t always hang with the big-babes (or, as it now seems, any heavy, flat ball-striker not named Serena Williams).

 

 

Nor, however, does she have Caro’s defensive endurance – yes we like to bitchslap her for it, here’s why it matters just as much as any big serve.

 

Li’s textbook, incendiary groundies should not come as a surprise to anyone – what is surprising is how well she’s held things together since…well since the season began actually – I confess I was rather banking on her to overcook things. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

 

Perhaps the most painful sights yesterday was how ineffective Vika’s medium-to-hard groundies looked opposite the crisper, more assured version of Li Na that’s surfaced recently.

 

*sigh* I still think Vika can win a Slam (she’s too good not to), but she’ll need a good draw. Is that a cop-out?

 

(Images: Getty)

 

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Melbourne: Failed Deliveries & Grand ‘Slums’

Federer d. Davydenko 2-6 6-3 6-0 7-5

Alas, a match that promised us so very much, one that should actually have been given top billing in a night session (someone mind telling me how that happened?), but nevertheless failed to live up to our justifiably bloated expectations.

(Photo: Press Association)

This should have been billed as ‘Vintage Fed’ v ‘Post-Modern Davy’.

Except there was nothing vintage about it. Not unless vintage refers to Fed shanking his sets away, or a predilection for his opponents to wilt away in the assumed glare of his awesomeness.

Instead we were graced with four mind-numbingly routine sets of tennis, that wouldn’t have looked out of place in 2007.

Don’t let that first set fool you.

Davy only got off to ‘good’ start because Fed pulled off one of his infamous disappearing acts that sees him arrive somewhere in the middle of act two.

It didn’t take very long for Davy’s ‘form’ to be exposed for what it was: a facade masquerading as competence.

Don’t let’s pretend Davy’s form even partially resembled anything from London or Doha, just because it was one barely detectable notch above that horrendous outing him and Nando paved the way with 48 hours ago.

Nor for that matter was Fed’s form anything to write home about.

What, another four setter where he edges past Davy without playing his best tennis? So 2007.

You know Davy’s on when he’s able to string points together and take aim for (and hit) the lines. None of which took place until, at 2-3 down in that fourth set Davy broke back and we finally saw something of the type of play from both men, that should have featured in all four sets.

It lasted all of three games.

Li Na d. V. Williams 2-6 7-6 7-5

I’m still reeling from how bad this one was.

Or whether I hate V’s play more than her dress which, let’s be honest, leaves so very little to the imagination.

A match that left such an unbearable taste in my mouth, it led me to coin an award in it’s honour.

Congratulations Li Na and Venus Williams – joint winners of the ‘Grand Slum’ – awarded at each Slam to the poorest match played by the highest seeds left standing in the second week.

S. Williams d. Azarenka 4-6 7-6 6-2

Serena saves the day - and herself, in a monumental turnaround (from a set and 4-0 down) that’s being rightfully hailed as one of the best of her career.

Little sorry for Vika who was reduced to wondering (in vain) what she could do, having already produced her best tennis and seen it being made to look like an ineffectual mess.

Tsonga d. Djokovic 7-6 6-7 1-6 6-3 6-1

I’ve often thought that the grunt Djoko gives off when serving sounds a little too similar to him puking his guts out.

Last night, leading 2 sets to 1, he actually puked his guts out.

When he returned, he was devoid of almost all the intensity that had enabled him to reach this point.

Great win for Tsonga, though props due to Djoko too for not taking the easy option of pulling out of a match he had no chance of winning.

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Tokyo: Thunderous Masha to meet Rock-Solid Jelena

“If I can win my third title of the year, that would be pretty good,” Jankovic said. “It’s been a difficult year so it would be nice to finish strong.”

Jankovic, the highest seeded player left in the tournament, said she was looking forward to facing Sharapova.

“It will be a difficult match,” Jankovic said. “She is a strong hitter. I haven’t played her in a while and don’t know how she is playing so it will be an interesting match.”

(Yahoo! Sports)

A surprisingly muted assessment of one of her best weeks this year.

It certainly will be an interesting match against Pova. If Jelena can somehow manage to weather the thunder which Pova will unleash for large portions of the match, she's quite capable of winning this thing.

I've loved what I've seen from Pova this week, but there's still an uncertainty underpinning all her wins.

To be fair to her, A-Rad played what I'm pretty sure is her best tennis since 2007; a development I have to say I'm truly chuffed about.



There's not a lot of players that move as well as her, and that can play that kind of a shot under pressure. Her win over Pova back in Flushing 07 was certainly no fluke, even though it coincided with the onset of Shaza's ongoing shoulder problems.

Shaza did what she does best to eventually bag the win here: pull out the stops in one of those unnerving displays of brute-belief-force. Unequivocally her greatest asset.

But as intimidating as that last set must have proved for A-Rad, she had Maria's number for surprisingly large parts of the match; lulls that Jelena seems better gifted to take advantage of.

Specially when you consider the way she's been playing this week.

I've unfortunately learnt to put none of my free-range eggs in the Li Na basket. A player I unreservedly proclaim as having the best technique on tour. On both wings she produces groundies that honestly do make the women's game look very pretty indeed.

(Photo; AFP/Getty Images)

Not only is her movement an asset - her muscular build ensures a putaway in situations where other players might seize up and settle for more inane, medium paced disfunction. An athlete in every sense of the word with a very becoming layer of feistiness in tow.

But it's perhaps been that somewhat overindulgent shotmaking that's behind the kind of error-strewn performances we've seen from her time and time again.

Jelena didn't have to be at her best to get the better of Li today; but she wasn't far from it - she's been rock solid since the beginning of the event, a quality that should see her past Shaza to her third title of the year.

Now I'll be running along to prepare more of those egg whites for my face tomorrow.

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Vive La France?

The iron's no longer hot but I thought I should include these picks for the sake of completeness.

Miami's Iron Maidens:

Have to admit I'm struggling here (my own rules prevent me from including Azarenka in the list).

Svetlana - Some hairy moments aside, this wasn't what I'd call an unproductive week for Sveta. She's ditched her coach (who knows what makes these things work), but seemed to be playing more freely and effortlessly than I've seen in months. Oh and she won the doubles with Amelie. Still things to work on, but plenty to be proud of too.

Jie Zheng - Just coz I love the way she plays and she went out to (an unstrapped) Serena in the fourth round. No disgrace in that. Great things really do come in small packages.

Na Li - One of the cleanest ball strikers (and one of the better techniques) on tour, I do find it a little surprising she hasn't had more success. Still, a quarter final here shouldn't hurt.

Miami's Damsels in Distress:

Ooohhh Boyyy...

No shortage of contenders of course, but I think Dinara, Nadia and Alize particularly stand out for me. I'm a little disappointed with Alize who's recently gone from being a gutsy dependable presence to a frightened, unimposing wreck.

Which leads me to the main point of this post. Just what is going on with French tennis these days?

I've been more than generous in heaping (deserved) praise upon the mens game, but here's something to wring your hands about: I don't think it's a coincidence that two of my thre

e picks for the more disappointing performances in Miami were French.

Despite not being 100% against Djoko, I don't think you can fault Tsonga too much: he's already won two titles this year and made the quarters at Melbourne.

I want to limit the scope of my criticism instead, to three players in particular: Gael Monfils, Richard Gasquet and Gilles Simon. (pointing)You, you and you - My office - now....

Richard Gasquet

I don't think it would be that valuable to rehash all th

e problems he's had with belief and mental toughness. That's hardly news, and in any event, is a charge you could level at French tennis in general: for all their talent, they're running a little thin on that stuff you sometimes find on roads - grit.

But here's a few other reasons why I think Reeshard comes up short so often.

-- His shotmaking is probably the reason why most people think he should be a top tenner at the very least. Some even thought of him as a Slam contender a few years ago. Quieter on that front now, though easy to see why. He can take the ball on the rise and can rip winners from pretty much anywhere on court. But that's very much the point for me. Why, if you had the hand skills to take the ball as early as he does sometimes, would you chose to spend 75% of the match camped five feet behind the baseline. It defies belief. I don't care that he's capable of hitting the occasional ripped winner from back there that defies

the laws of physics. He's shooting himself in the foot, and it's costing him the early stages of his career.

-- A corollary of the previous point. His style of play is way too passive for someone of his ability. He seems to occupy a space that straddles the line between being able to step in and end a point in one or at most two shots (which I would argue he should be doing more of), and hanging back (for far too long) and engaging in high, loopy clay court exchanges. I don't like it one bit. Gael Monfils suffers from the same ailment. Murray used to too. Then someone knocked some sense into him. Now he's threatening for the #3 spot.

-- Have to credit Mark Petchey for this one as I certainly didn't think this was as big a problem as some of the replays he ran appear to suggest it is (must try and dig out a YouTube clip). Reeshard's never been the best mover. But he does seem to scramble around an awful lot - undeniably a result of playing from so far back. Unless he's able to win the point in the initial few exchanges, he too often gets turned into his opponents' yo yo. But here's the thing. Next time you see him play, watch how inefficient his side

to side movement is. Whenever they're chasing balls down, the top players tend to always have their feet in a decent enough position to recover their balance and more centralised position at the baseline. Net result: their scrambling looks less laboured, smooth even - and they don't tend to lose any momentum as they chase the next ball down. I don't expect many players to have the pristine footwork of Federer or Murray. But if Reeshard is to have any credibility as even a top ten player, he's going to have to improve upon that horribly imbalanced and inefficient, jittery side-to-side movement - especially if he intends to spend that much time scrambling around, which I would argue he shouldn't even be doing.

Anyway the point of that analysis -- prepare to have your hearts pierced -- is that I don't think Reeshard is quite the player he's sometimes been bigged up to be. Yet. His dazzling array of shots -- some of which we wouldn't even get to see if he shortened points in the way I think he should -- often distract people from noting some pretty glaring defects in an otherwise fairly complete game.

"Cover your eyes COVER YOUR EYES!"

It' s not that I've suddenly stopped admiring those groundstrokes -- I still think he can crack the top ten on the strength of those alone -- I just think that to be considered in the same breath as Djoko and Murray you need to be more of a complete a player than he is just now.

Gilles Simon

On the one hand it's not that I don't admire what he brings to court. I've already spoken loads about his fitness and defence -- I even think there's a lot to be said for his shotmaking. But here's the thing (there's always a thing): Admirable as all of that is, it's still a pretty slender and limited bag of tricks to have made possible the incredible run of form he's had recently, which more and more are beginning to suggest was on the back of a few dodgy performances by the top players. Would he have still cracked the top ten if that didn't happen? Maybe, but his stay would be more brief. Would he have still got to the final of M

adrid last year? Probably not. Now that some of that dust is settled, could it be, that some of these earlier losses we're beginning to see, are a truer indication of his standing in the game?

Gael Monfils

Another guy who I think is way too passive and more than capable of wrestling the initiative from his opponents and ending points earlier than he does. But that's not what I want to talk about. I would argue that Gael's bigger problem is to do with maturity. Or the lack of it. For a guy that had so much success as a junior and has just cracked the top ten, he's one of the poorest thinkers out there. It's not just that his tactics don't always appear to be well thought out. When he's in trouble with his gameplan, he really looks lost out there. That's ok I suppose as he's still pretty young, and having Roger Rasheed in your corner can't hurt.

Much as I love this sort of thing...

But I really do think that the time has now come to cut out some of the more flamboyant on court amateur dramatics. You know, all that stumbling, scrambling and diving around after balls that are hopelessly beyond you. It is a crowd puller, I grant you, and is great for building up his image as a crowd pleaser as well as for tennis in general. But I think there comes a point at which you have to ask how good that is for your body (he does seem excessively prone to injuries), and whether you're in this racket (pun intended) to garner public affection or on court success. That's where I think Rasheed will be particularly useful. Whatever else you may think about him, he doesn't suffer fools easily and will be sure to give Gael a pretty hefty boot up the hindquarters if he feels he's not taking things seriously enough. Maybe he already has - I seem to detect less larking around on court recently.

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