Oz: Day Three Drive By

1) Let’s be clear about this. I like Kader. And I like Daveed. None of that is likely to change very much.


Isner d. Nalbandian 4-6 6-3 2-6 7-6 10-8

Kader made a dud call by not allowing David to challenge. And David was right to feel hard done by that. An ignominious end to what sounded, otherwise, like a sensational match.

But I’ll never not be suspicious of those that attempt to explain away entire losses on the basis of one incident – it’s the goto-play of the desperate. Kader could have been Alves-like in his ump-misdemeanours, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that tennis was being played both before and after that incident.

Also, we’re questioning Daveed’s charm? On the day Mardy went “Lardy” (again) and Baggy obliterated 4 racquets?? For feeling hard done by a call that even Nouni probably now admits was a shocker??

 

Magnificent.


2) It’s not news to anyone that Rafa should beat Haas in straights, but am I alone in thinking he should have been made to play this one without pummelling more than two shots in succession high into the veteran’s single-handed backhand? Where have we seen that before?

Seems only fair. And a little more inspired.

3) Lleyton/ARod last (last) on RLA??

Seems to me we ought to know better by now than to schedule either one of Lleyton or Baghdatis in a night match.

The matches don’t always promise to be gripping and there’s practically ZERO chances of them finishing before brekkie the following day. We hold these truths to be self-evident, but for some reason they’re especially true of Melbourne.

I’m not convinced ARod has it in him to go the distance quite like he once did (nor, for that matter, does Lleyton), but if it does, expect more common sense and less delinquency than you’ll find in Gael v Bellucci. Also a night match.

4) You may think grunting is a non-issue (it is), you may point to the fact that the players don’t seem to mind (they couldn’t care less) but I do have a lot of time for the viewpoint (Wertheim’s, amongst others) that says it becomes an issue once it begins “alienating its core clientele”……that would be the fans.

But those Neanderthals?? Mimicking Vika in the stands today? Not part of that clientele. Trust me, our sport’s not in crisis because some stoned pot-bellies (that probably only watch tennis for 2 weeks each year) decided to make a day of it.

Consider them alienated.

(Pics: Getty)

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Charting Petra Kvitova’s success and other ‘Voodoo Economics’

I suppose we can say Petra’s back. Her demolition of Dani was the best match I’ve seen her play since Wimbledon, and the rest of her week wasn’t half bad either. 




Trouble is, ideas about form and consistency never really resonate very much with players like her. I daresay they’re not meant to.

I’ve heard her being compared to a number of players – Mary Pearce, elements of both of the Williamses, and even Juan Martin del Potro.

All those analogies have some truth to them but she seems to me to have more in common with someone she neither looks like nor plays like. Svetlana Kuznetsova.

Neither has the the sense or it seems the desire to control their seemingly unending (surface-neutral) talent – they simply don’t come equipped with the requisite hardware. Neither seems very fussed when things go awry, as they often do. Both are hard-wired to keep on doing what they do, however gloriously stupid – corrective action, it seems, is for pussies….and for those silly people concerned about winning matches.

It’s this unrestrained yet frustratingly laid-back approach that can either lead to the most frightening (and in Sveta’s case the most symphonic) beatdowns you’ll likely ever see, or simply days where neither would last even a few games on the Challenger tour.




And it’s for this reason Sveta has two rather than five or six Slams. The truth is, at this point, I can’t see Petra’s career trajectory being all that different – she’s definitely no week-in-week-out type, but you just know she’ll pull off something utterly astonishing when all the working parts of her mental apparatus (of which there are many) synchronise.

Since I recounted her win at Wimbledon, precious little appears to have changed, except maybe, for one thing.

That look of mild annoyance she sometimes exhibits after an UFE  is still there. It’s her modus operandi – her way of dealing with errors. It doesn’t last very long and she’s generally ready to move on almost immediately. No need to linger in negativity the way some do. Exactly the way it should be. Except when things go wrong. Which is when ‘moving on immediately’ becomes precisely the wrong play. You rob yourself of time to reconsider. Valuable time in which she needs to reconsider.

But in Linz I saw more than mild annoyance. There was a lot of stopping and starting and staring, perhaps even some flouncing. She appeared almost to be have been coached to take stock, to take a moment to really see and to really feel the error of her ways. Or, to put it another way “to go to the naughty zone and think about what you’ve done”.

It worked. This time. Particularly in the way she was able to stop herself from going completely haywire against JJ – you got a sense, at times, she was headed for precisely that. You also got a sense that ploughing through recklessly the way she normally does would have hastened her demise.

But there’ll still be days when she’ll have more success ploughing through in exactly that way – for that too is her modus operandi, it’s written right into her DNA. And that will have been ok too.



There’s no universal recipe for success. It simply doesn’t exist. Don’t buy the dope being peddled by those pretending it does.

Individual success is dependent on an unruly and an unholy blend of factors including your own temperament, your opponent, the type of day they’re having, the type of day you’re having,  surface, conditions, the matchup,  sheer luck and the colour of your socks. It’s not a stretch to think of it all as a type of Voodoo. You hire coaches (perhaps we should think of them as tennis shamans)  to get a handle on all that volatile shit.

And some days there’ll simply be no rational explanation for why exactly you won a match. It just happens. Most players are simply happy to put it behind them. Yet scores of commentators will be professing confident sounding theories on exactly what you did right and why you should keep at it. Just like they do in the stock market. Voodoo Economics.

Trouble is, if you lose using those same tactics, they’ll suddenly all be construed as mistakes, miscalculations and mayhem. Also just like the stock market. And just like ARod said they always do.

The truth is, Petra, like many alongside her, is simply learning to navigate that treacherous balance of guile, pace, steel and hard work. Learning to apply just the right amount of each at just the right time. Knowing when to hold back is just as important, and a lot of times you’re simply winning ugly.

If there is a deep, mystical truth in any of this, perhaps it’s this: no two players’ experience can every be the same because no two players are the same. Ergo, no two players’ journey should be the same. Everyone has their own bag of tricks they’ve been endowed with and you’ve just got to figure it for yourself.

You won’t always win. But someone will always be ready to explain why you didn’t.

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Andy Roddick and The ‘R’ Word: “A Cultural Thing”?

Ever since this story broke there’s been a gaggle of commenters siding with Roddick over the dumb journo that dared speaketh The ‘R’  Word.



(video via TheDailyForehand)

It’s not difficult to see why – I mostly agree with them. Still, things are rarely that clear cut. They’re even less clear when different cultures are involved.

Despite that, as uneasy as I was with both the questioning *and* Roddick’s reaction to it, what really irked was the lazy idea quickly doing the rounds that this was “a cultural thing”.

Even if you believe that (I don’t), there’s a basic contradiction inherent in only cursorily invoking something as complex and contentious as “culture”. The rule, normally, is to steer well clear of it; or else, be prepared to go the whole hog: anything less is likely to lead to misunderstandings.

Lazy invocations of “culture”, in the present case, could  be taken to imply:

 

-- the hosts don’t know enough about the sport to appreciate the inappropriate nature of the question. Pretty sure that’s not true.

-- that “dumb journo” questions don’t exist anywhere else. I KNOW that’s not true: even if the “dumb journo” thing were “cultural” it wouldn’t be exclusive to any one culture – idiocy was globalised well before globalisation.

There is a third possibility. But it demands a far more rigorous and nuanced treatment of the word “culture”. The kind of treatment a 140 character limit doesn’t lend itself to.

Culture mostly operates as a self contained ecosystem. It’s not always insular, but even in this globalised age stuff from the outside not deemed relevant is allowed to fly past. Other stuff (maybe not deemed relevant elsewhere) may hold a peculiar local interest and would, as such, be allowed to permeate that ecosystem; in particular, this may provoke a reaction from its inhabitants deemed peculiar by the outside world. Its a curious and complex interplay that isn’t very predictable and doesn’t always end well.

I’m not much convinced this is one of those instances: some countries (as many were at pains to point out yesterday) might be more up front in the way they tackle certain issues, but I’m not sure speculating about someone’s demise is particularly welcome anywhere.

And even if that were the case, should a journo not be expected to know that might be particularly unwelcome to Roddick (he seemed to have done his homework in respect of other Roddick quotage).

”Culture” may have taken a little edge off it (or not), but this was, otherwise, a straight up case of the (spectacularly) “dumb journo”. We’ve met him/her before. Don’t lets complicate matters by invoking culture – especially if you’re not prepared to get dirty defining what that actually is.

Flipside: should Roddick have been so insulting in a country he’ll likely only visit once a year (if that)? A country which (despite Li’s monumental efforts) still only has a developing tennis tradition – one where you might argue someone of his standing should be doing rather more promoting and rather less alienating. And yes, one where cultural differences might still yield the occasional awkward moment (if that’s really what this was) – moments that surely warrant a little more tolerance.

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2Hander's Take: Born-Again Single-Hander...

I'M BACK BABY!!! [Z: *falls off stool* Well look what the cat dragged in...]

Well, it's been a long time to say the least. I have not been keeping track of the Blog as much as I should have (explanation, well, sort of, offered below). However, like old friends, it should take us no time to carry on where we left off. [Z: Uh-uh...you don't get to shake off going AWOL for 2 years that easy...]

For those of wondering "WHO the HELL is this guy?!?", and there have been enough changes to the Blog and its readers to make me think that's a sizeable proportion of you wonderful people, I am an old (and hopefully good) friend of Zafar's - he used to be called Topspin - what happened to that?! [Z: Think its probably ok to use my name after 3 years ;)]

The last time I posted must have been around the 2009 mark, around the US Open time. A lot has gone on and a lot has changed. Firstly, I have changed job and location to one where internet is more expensive (But I still pay for it! Hey, I don't have a TV!) and the work is more stressful. That's a super combination to keep me off posting, but hey, I got there in the end - question is, will Andy Murray?! [drums and cymbal] [Z: To quote Mr President: YES HE CAN. AND WILL :( ]

(On a side note, whilst I am quite a fan of Muzza, it is not because of his image as David Lloyd suggested. I did like Murray's retort of 'stick to building fitness clubs') [Z: I like the shaggy look - its not like he went 'George Bastl' on us :p ]

Another change has been to my tennis game (hence my nick?). I have abandoned the two-handed backhand for a Federeresque (in my dreams, anyway!) single-handed. I have found that it is more consistent, I feel as though I have far more control of the ball and I find it easier to get into position for it. Also, funnily enough, I can deal with higher balls far better - Roger, give me a call and we'll talk! [Z: HERESY. After all the grief you gave me over the ONE time I tried hitting with two hands...]

So, that would make something of a Born-Again Single-Hander. In light of this, must I now change my nick to BASHer?! However, if we've done away with nicks, then my name is Asad.

OK, well the story so far is...Novak Djokovic is whupping EVERYONE - good night! [Z: No sh*t] Seriously, the guy has come leaps and bounds both on and off the court. For I...uh-oh, humble pie time...used to be quite a critic of Nolé. [Z: Again...no sh*t] I found the impersonations were becoming rather tiring as was dedicating every victory as a tribute to how hard life was a Serb in the 1990s. [Z: ...]Also, on court, he would seem to "lose the will to live" on occasion giving up after a good start or not being able to get started in the first place - particularly against Federer and Nadal.

Now? WHOA! For a start, he is now starting to beat Federer more regularly and convincingly. His groundstrokes have always been strong on both wings but his backhand really is nearly on par with his forehand. [Z: I quite liked his BH, but you're right both strokes equally dependable....] His volleying has improved, though he's always looked more natural at the net than Nadal. [Z: Nadal/Nole have both learnt to volley admirably well - but I still think they both look like a couple of street-hustlers at the net] More natural than Tsonga? Erm, no! Also, he has finally found his rhythm with that new service action and not to mention the new racquet.

I think I used to call him Chokovic! That, too, has now been formally retracted.

And now, I must challenge a few things, if I may. [Z: Uh-oh] I would say that he did play his best tennis in many respects against Nadal, both mentally and mechanically (if that makes sense). His shots during the 1st, 2nd and 4th sets (more about the 3rd set in a bit) were fan-diddly-tastic! He was playing like a man possessed. He destroyed Nadal in the 2nd set (in fact I thought Rafa must have had a bust-up with his girlfriend or something because a significant part of him was not in the game). The way he was mixing up the pace of serves was genius. The way he went after Nadal's backhand was also a brilliant tactic which worked a treat. [Z: Agree..I actually think Nole elicited a lot of Nadals "unforced" errors - my point was he didn't need to be as good as he was say in IW/Miami...but I almost prefer us to disagree :P ]

The 3rd set, Rafa kind of decided to show up and play. However, maybe nerves got to Nolé as he was hitting a lot of balls out and his serve somewhat desserted him. I thought that the old Chokovic Syndrome might start kicking in then. He broke early in the 4th set, but quickly got broken back. This is where he really showed his new-found mental strength: he got it out of his system, dug deep, went for his shots and it paid off. [Z: Rafa thinks this level might not last...I don't get it - relying on his opponents level to fall has never been his style either on court or in a presser :-O ]

Whereas Tsonga showed us the masterclass on how to beat Nadal at the 2008 Aussie Open, which was by and large from the net [Z: I have a bone to pick with Jo...], Nolé has managed a few times now (not to mention on clay!) to beat Nadal at his own game - with high, loopy topspin from the back of the court. This is why I feel rather cheated that they didn't get to meet at RG and in a strange twist of fate, were deprived of a Rafole final at Wimby. I think Nolé believes he can 'bother' Rafa at RG now... [Z: You're right - that would've been something - but I liked Feds win as well.....]

So, Novak has finally come of age and he fully deserves the No. 1 ranking for he is, so far this year, the best player on the planet. He has matured incredibly, OK it came after a few bad seasons and injuries but I take my hat off to him... [Z: Ditto....]
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Memphis: Tennis can never have enough ‘Starsky and Hutch’

 

I didn’t see the match but was happy to see Roddick claim his 30th career title in what (by all accounts) was a thrilling (if somewhat ace-heavy) match – probably more so than it had any right to be.

The alternative result would have seen Milos claim his second consecutive title, which let’s face it would have been pretty crazy too.

Perhaps more so, given that post-Oz it was all about Dolgo having “arrived.” Milos has now comprehensively shat upon his coming-out party and threatens to continue to further cramp his style. You have to admit that’s just as compelling.

I’ll concede the effect maybe lost on me coming in "cold" without the benefit of the 3 primeval sets of tennis that preceded it - but "best MP ever"??

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Oz: So Stan will square off against his old doubles partner. Dunno what the fuss is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And you all thought ARod doesn’t do ‘balletic’. Shame on you: Andy’s big red shoes judge you.

 

Wawrinka d. Roddick 63 64 64.

 

For those of you living under a stone for the last month Stan’s been the epitome of steely focus since hooking up with Lundgren…we already knew he could play tennis.

 

And for those incapable of discussing the man in a sentence free of domestic innuendo, yes he left his wife and 11 month old baby about three weeks ago.

 

CLEARLY THAT’S WHY HE’S PLAYING GREAT TENNIS.

 

In the on court interview, Jim Courier remarked on his ability to return ARod’s

serve, “you returned his serve well...did u watch Roger, did he talk to you at all?"

 

.Coz clearly a world class tennis player’s not capable of doing that himself.

 

Roger’s, perhaps, returned ARods serve better than anyone else over the years.

 

What irks me is why not ONE reference was made to how far Stan himself has come.

 

 

Or, you know, this dude. I think, I just *think* that maybe, he might have had just a little something to do with it. I dunno.

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London WTF: Tron - Fuschia Edition

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lest we doubt the essential rectitude of a winner?

 

It seems 5 weeks out of the game really do show at this level.

 

For the best part of the first set Rafa could find nothing. And I mean squat. Nothing other than a forehand that was fully flatulent and a serve that was about as souped-up as the slosh you get served in an M25 service station.

 

Ever since before the event began Ferru, Berd and ARod have been cast as everyone’s favourite whipping boys.

 

Difficult to argue in Ferrus case that there’s not a very real danger of him being comprehensively outclassed – particularly with the group he’s been drawn in.

 

 

 

And after yesterdays pitiful performance one wonders what, if anything, will extricate Berd from the pooey pigswill he’s wallowing in right now.

 

But to write off anyone at this event is to effectively ignore the eccentricities of the three set Round Robin format.

 

The beauty of this format is that Ferru can still, in principle, qualify by defeating Sod tonight (he’s already beaten him twice on hard this year) and somehow wangling a three set win over Muzz (not impossible).

 

But ARod as the butt of your worst ATP jokes? Really?

 

 

Drawing Rafa in his opening match was always going to have been his best chance of beating him – and it’s no fluke he came so close.

 

He obviously came out primed to shorten the points and smother the net at every available opportunity – that Rafa won around 80% of rallies longer than 8 shots confirms the moral rectitude of this approach.

 

But it was his near-flawless execution of that strategy that underlines how daft I think those anti-predictions really are.

 

He clearly benefited from that deliriously poor start from Rafa, but if it hadn’t been for an especially acute-angled pass from Rafa during that second set tie break, one I’m not fully convinced he meant to strike so sweetly, Roddick might just have been looking at a straight sets win.

 

As it stands, he’ll now have to get through Novak (somewhat likely) and Berd (wholly likely) to stand a chance of qualifying – uncertain yes, unlikely no.

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London WTF: Daveed Cameron unveils a few last minute additions to the coalition.

 

 

 

 

It hasn’t been a good month for David Cameron.

 

 

First there were the student riots  that saw the near-sacking of Tory HQ (a couple of broken window panes) and a fire extinguisher being hurled off its roof that only narrowly missed police.

 

Since then, floods, banking bailouts not to mention the continuing fallout from the the deeply unpopular “austerity” measures – a word that almost sounds like a period themed wallpaper.

 

He was even taken to task for employing a personal photographer on the public payroll – what is a man to do?

 

1. Announce a royal wedding.

 

The scarcely concealed theory being that flooding the public sensibilities with talk of “Kate and Will” & “Will and Kate” will gently assuage the grim public mood so ostensibly damaged by those nasty public cuts.

 

Who has time to worry about your home being repossessed when you might be debating Kate’s bridal wear and the rights and wrongs of Wills presenting her with Diana’s ring? 

 

Or why she hasn’t ever held a proper job (it would seem, disturbingly, that some of us believe privilege has no part to play now that the royals sometimes marry outside of a carefully screened courtly set).

 

Complete the set piece by flooding the airwaves with a series of period romps showing the gentry in a lovingly eccentric and well-meaning light and the working class in a sufficiently reverential one. Sit back and let it simmer.

 

And if that doesn’t work…

 

2. Hobnob with tennis elite inside Downing St.

 

To be fair to him Cameron has actually played tennis before. Though there's no reason to suppose he was any better than Tony Blair who almost had a panic attack before going out for a charity knockabout with Pat Cash & Illi Nastase

 

 

Nice one Ferru. A gauche, awkward Viking has been made to feel even more socially inept and about *this* small.

 

All in all, Sod’s win in Paris has meant I haven’t very strong views about whom I’d like to see win. They all seem to make a compelling case.

 

 

Group A

 

Rafael Nadal.

 

Simply coz, other than this title, he really has won it all (in some cases several times over). Think Fed and RG 2009.

 

Novak Djokovic

 

Simply coz it’d be nice if the revival we saw at Flushing actually turned out to be one, rather than one of the many false starts we’ve seen since winning Indian Wells 2008 – the last title he won playing the way I like him to. Seems fitting for him to win at least something this year – and he has a chance to do that not just here, but to also clean up at Davis Cup and at Aus next year (hat tip @DavidLawTennis). That would be something.

 

 

 

Tomas Berdych

 

Simply coz he ‘s wallowing in doodoo at the moment and I don’t want him to go the way of Marin – for that way lies madness.

 

 

 

Andy Roddick

 

Simply coz this is the 8th time he’s qualified(!) yet has somehow never made it beyond the semis. And because he has a better chance here than at another Slam. And because Elena’s retirement has made me especially protective towards anyone associated with tennis circa 2004-2006. And because I’m still not up to talking about that yet.

 

 

Group B

Roger Federer.

 

Simply coz those blasted 5 unconverted MPs threaten to define what I still maintain was a better ‘one-Slam’ year than 2008. (Side note: how many “declining” players can cite having a ‘one-Slam year’ as an exception to the norm?)

 

 

 

Andy Murray

 

Simply coz having comprehensively scattered his seed on the Masters-1000 scene (read 6 Masters and 0 Slams), there’s a certain justifiable urgency surrounding the need to “step it up”. Winning here isn’t quite a Slam. It is, however, the next best thing – and it’s at home, and it wouldn’t do either him or his street cred any harm. Or, for that matter, David Cameron’s.

 

 

 

Robin Soderling

 

Simply coz “Simply coz” alright?….though I do so wish he hadn’t been drawn with Dave Ferrer.

 

Daveed Ferrer

 

Simply coz he tries so hard. Always.

 

P.S No one seems to have noticed that for the first time in six years Kolya is not part of the draw. Please tell me some one out there cares.

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USO: Right Foot or Left?

 

      getty

 

I’ll say it one more time: The best shit goes down while I’m tucked up in bed dreaming of Sod hurling petrol bombs.

 

Which would have been bad enough if I were actually sleeping and not lousing the night away wondering when the alarm clocks going to go off.

 

Something else I’ll say (to Andy) one more time: This “fire and brimstone” act is not just tired, tasteless and uncouth….it’s also a little embarrassing (though mostly for your sake).

 

It may still be ok in certain quarters for you to patronise officials like some super sized jock. I, and I suspect more Americans than we’ve been led to believe, have had their fill of it.

 

 

It takes surprisingly little time to go from being the “lovable rogue” to the unlovable twat. That you were being outplayed whilst all this took place makes a grim spectacle grislier still.

 

For the record, not to mention the sake of your largely unimpeachable record over the years, I’m still a fan; and will (rightly or wrongly) consider it a travesty if you or ElenaD retire without winning that elusive (and in your case 2nd) Slam.

 

But really now, let’s cut the hogwash.

 

Now would someone please fill me in on what exactly Tipsy’s done with those woodnote grunts of his and whether or not he arrived on court wheeling airport luggage?

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USO: Expect anything and *everything*…and nothing at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

» Rafa wins: Career Grand Slam –> World further divides into those for whom H2H’s never mattered less and those for whom ‘more’ never means *more*

 

» Muzz wins: Maiden Slam -->Monkey falls off his back and into a pond with a broken duck in it.

 

» Fed wins: Only an Open Era USO record….as if anyone cares about that.

 

» QF Night Match worth staying up for: Rafa/Nalbie

 

» QF Death Match worth looking out for: Djoko/ARod (Roddick’s won their past 4 meetings and is 5-2 overall)

 

 

 

 

LEGEND

Top Guns, supposedly

Big Bad Denizens

Britain’s Got Talent

Sympathy Vote

(First Round Fracas underlined)

 

ATP

 

Q1	Rafa, Istomin, Kohls Feli, Ljubicic	Easy-peasy though I’d still say Rafa’s got no business being around “Upset Merchants” Istomin and Kohls this early in the game.
	Ferru/Dolgo, Ernie Nalbie, Dasco	Ernie and Nalbie. At least one will be gone by round four. Winner plays Rafa in the Quarters.
Q2	Muzz, Wawa Querrey, Almagro	Muzz arrives wrecked in the quarters having dropped far too many sets along the way. Maybe.
	Misha, Xman, Isner Steps/B’teau, L’dra/Berd	Berd surrounded by a bunch of nutters-at-the-net. You can’t always fight madness.
Q3	Kolya, Reeshie, Bellucci LaMonf, Tipsy, ARod	Half full: Reeshie finds a way to round four. Half empty: ARod doesn’t
	Baggy, Fish Pico, Blake, Djoko	Djoko breezes through in straights until he has one of those matches against Baggy/Fish
Q4	Sod, Falla, Gonzo Cilic	Sod to survive a R2 5-setter against Fire, before cutting down Cilic in his subprime.
	Yoyo, JCF Hewitt, Federer	Fed to avenge Halle convincingly. And to then struggle against Yoyo/JCF – equally convincingly

 

 

WTA

 

With firm favourite Kimmie coming in with hip concerns and CazWoz your number one seed, expect anything and everything…and nothing at all.

 

 

Q1	Caz, Navarro, K’vong, Safarova Rezai, Benny, Groth/Masha	Groth could put out Masha in R1. A couple of poor service games, cement-block focus from Groth. BOOM. Could totally happen.
	Sveta/Date, Kiri Shvedova, AChak, Domi, Li	Remember how Kimiko toughed out a 3 setter over Dina in R1 of RG, and then went out the very next round basically spent? Yeah, try and forget that.
Q2	JJ, Kanepi MJMS, Wickmayer	I won’t list all the reasons JJ shouldn’t do well here – there’s so many I almost expect her to make something of it.
	ARad, Petkovic/Petrova  Coco, Bepa	Bepa gets her Coco revenge and Nadia goes down to ARad in straights
Q3	Franny, 'Courage’, ABond Pavs, Vika	Can Vika’s belief' trump ‘Courage’ itself?
	Peer, Flavs Pironkova, Venus	Will Venus get her Wimby revenge? Does Venus even know what revenge is?
Q4	Stosur, Kleybs Dani/Dina, Demmie	Can Dina use Demmie/Stosur’s struggles to her advantage? Assuming she emerges in one piece from that New Haven reunion.
	Bartoli, Ivanovic, Zheng Kvitova, Baltacha, Kimmie	Who wants to be brave and predict Kimmie cleans up? (Hint: Not me)

 

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Cincy: Third Degree Burns.

 

There’s to be no getting around it: it would have been a consummate disaster for him not to win this one given the industrial-grade hydraulic leg-up he had received.

 

 

There were retirements: Istomin’s foot deprived us of what could have been a telling match either way (I’ve been following Dennis since he almost put Rafa out of Queens and, if you aren’t already, I suggest you do the same).

 

There were walk-overs: though for all we know, Kohls injured his shoulder falling off a bar stool in convulsive fits after viewing a scratchy DVD labelled ‘GiggleFest’ someone had sneakily slid under his hotel door overnight.

 

And he didn’t even display the sense of fair play or good breeding by “manning up” to  face a top five player now, did he?

 

Personally, I don’t think Muzz and Djoko were ever a factor last week.

 

And whose fault is it that Rafa went out to Baggy anyway? Or that “Baggy-was-as Baggy-usually-is” a mere twenty four hours later?

 

There were, believe it or not, other talking points. There’s to be no getting around that either:

 

-- Fed’s kamikaze chip-and-charges; they got him burned at the net so many times I almost expected to hear of skin grafts being applied during a carefully screened MTO. And yet he persisted. Occasionally it paid off. Some even went as far as to suggest the match went on for as long as it did because he was “trying out stuff”.

 

I doubt that very much.  Mardy was simply serving too well.

 

 

Though there’s no question he’s been experimenting and, quite evidently, has been since Toronto: those opening sets he played against Djoko and Berd were so suffocatingly swift, so intoxicating in their intensity that had he polished up any sooner, would likely have been called up for a false start.

 

Though you get a sense that none of that somewhat dismissive brilliance would have been possible were it not also accompanied by it’s evil twin: those macabre, episodes of fug we saw later - so “neuerratic” in nature they might almost have been born of a dysfunctional aura and under a full moon.

 

“Cincy Tennis”, on the other hand, was a whole lot more straightforward. Where he might once have swung he sliced, where he might once have shanked he held back. And when he did deem it appropriate to end the rally, did so knowing he could end it on his terms either with either a very dressy drive volley at the net or a more routine forehand belted crisply from the back of the court.

 

I like what what I’m seeing – whether or not and however we choose to credit Annacone’s involvement is, at this stage, almost irrelevant.

 

 

 

 

-- Fish lost this on a single break deep in the final set. The previous two sets went to lengthy tie breaks. Fed wasn’t holding back one bit. All of which speaks volumes for a guy everyone seems so keen to hurl pejorative shit at (myself inc.).

 

It’s completely disingenuous to suggest that the match went on for as long as it did because of Fed’s ambivalence at his own play – almost as disingenuous as it is to harp on about Fed’s crappy breakpoint conversion rate without once giving a nod to the Mardy serve.

 

So now, if you don’t mind, I intend to give that nod.

 

And now, if you don’t mind, I intend to go back to hurling pejorative shit.

 

-- ARod posted back to back wins over Djoko and Sod. Ok, so it didn’t end the way he wanted (he only narrowly avoided a final set bagel against Fish)  and he really should have known better than to come down on the ump in the way he did – an act that is now as hammy as it is bedraggled.  But his last comparable spell was back at IW/Miami.

 

All things considered, an uplifting week not least in terms of his #9 ranking. That’s right, that great American rankings crisis was….not quite the subprime credit crunch we thought it was.

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“Sun is Energy”, remember? Turns out it’s also plain hot.

 

It’s that ‘pit-sniffing’ forehand again.

 

 

“The heat here is important,” Nadal said. “It’s not easy to play here.”

 

You know it’s been bad when “the solar-powered one” declares it unfit for purpose.

 

He wasn’t the only one.

 

“The conditions are tough here,” Murray said. “I’ve played seven matches in nine days, and every one was between noon and 3 o’clock, when it’s warmest. I think anybody would be feeling (tired) in my position.”

 

Both toughed out three setters over Ernie and Benneteau respectively.

 

It wasn’t USO winning form. Few expected it to be.

 

Benneteau, in particular, seemed set to repeat the kind of upset he pulled off in Paris against Fed last year – ya know, when he turns into that nutter at the net.

 

Unfortunately, in doing so, he also succumbed to a bout of muscle cramp allowing Rafa to meekly close it out 5-7 7-6 6-2.

 

Djoko had what, perhaps on paper, seems the easier 6-1 7-6 win over Daveed.

 

Anything but, as it turns out: as has been the case all too often recently, he found a way of making things more difficult for himself and when he did finally make  his victory wave, did so looking scrawnier than usual and with his eyes bulging out a little more than usual.

 

Heat? Clearly not an issue.

 

Roddick won over Sod in three, but not before being dragged kicking and screaming into a 2nd set tie break, in which he blew match point and then went all “fire and brimstone” on the ump for allowing Sod to challenge what he presumably thought was well outside the scope of time allowed either by the rulebook or umpire’s discretion (also, funnily enough, part of the rulebook).

 

Roddick’s version of events:

 

 

 

Discretion: Can’t live with it, can’t live without it….

 

Love you Andy, but a piece of string is as long as discretion says it is.

 

Robin didn’t hear the call and the ump obviously exercised discretion in allowing him to challenge once he had realised the true score.

 

It’s the very same discretion that allows Rafa to habitually creep over the unofficial 25 secs allotted to complete your serve.

 

In either case, no malice is involved and so, well, it should be ok.

 

It was very close, but ARod would likely have gone on to lose that set anyway: Sod seemed to have picked up his game and was crunching those groundies in the way only he can. He saved match point by finishing at the net – do we need further proof he was in the zone?

 

It’s become increasingly difficult to stomach the patronising way in which Roddick takes aim at officials: it’s both insulting and counterproductive – berating an ump with poor English about his communication skills makes for a far uglier spectacle.

 

In other news Brad Gilbert almost got arrested by a rentacop and was practically frogmarched out, after demanding access to the locker room on the back of his “former champ” status:

 

 

 

 

“Commentating Ugly”. Look out for the forthcoming book.

 

Why is it that all the best shit seems to go down when I’m tucked up in bed dreaming about jellybeans?

 

When TopSpin’s away, the mice will play…

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Ne’er do wells 1, Should’a would’a could’aves 0

 

[13] G Simon (FRA) d [2] A Roddick (USA) 63 63

[3] [WC] F Verdasco (ESP) d [Q] R Sweeting (USA) 64 75

[4] M Cilic (CRO) d [15] M Fish (USA) 64 46 62

X Malisse (BEL) d [5] J Isner (USA) 64 36 76(5)

 

I don’t buy into the US Open Series as a concept – never have, never will. A situation not helped by LA and Washington getting practically zero coverage here.

 

Incentivising players, not likely to bag the USO (and thereby double their earnings), amidst a climate of injury and burn out doesn’t strike me as that plausible nor desirable.

 

getty

 

Not unlike these results, of which, perhaps, only Dasco’s win over Sweeting doesn’t cause mild whiplash. Unlike, say, Izzy’s shirt.

 

There’s also the smallish matter of Squerio, last week’s winner in LA, falling in the first round to Tipsy, leaving, guess what, not a single American left in the draw.

 

Oh, and Roddick falls to #11 next week.

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Who is Keyser Söze? And is he playing the USO?

 

So, tennis. Remember that?

 

Or a trimmed down version of what I care to comment on.

 

Big Rob reached the finals of Bastad before losing in three to Nico Almagro.

 

Nico admitted to having spent the night before thinking about how Sod might play and even said that he “tried to be him”.

 

I’m interested in how that works.  Is it like method acting?  Does it involve dolphins and jelly beans? Or dolphin-shaped jellybeans even?

 

Big Rob, meanwhile,  has now pulled out of Washington citing “personal reasons”.

 

Though not before this emerged.

 

 

…and the legend, evidently, wouldn’t let go.

 

They can be clingy like that.  Koala-bear clingy.

 

Coming into Russia’s Davis Cup Tie with the Argies, Kolya had this to say on his state of play:

 

"I haven't played for three months and have just had a couple of matches on grass, which I do not like," ... "So I cannot say right now how I am playing. Only time will tell."

 

Leaving aside his aversion to grass “which I do not like” much either, time did tell: a sorry tale of a 2nd round loss in Stuttgart followed by a 3rd round exit in Hamburg – an event he won last year.

 

That’s a loss of at least 400 points in Hamburg and counting, during what’s normally quite a prolific section of the season for him.

 

Word is he’s no longer being coached by Eduardo either. His wife Irena is. Make of that what you will.

 

Nole pulled out of LA citing “personal reasons” too.

 

The same event Muzzard just accepted a wildcard into.

 

It’s difficult to read too much into any of that. The trouble I find with this part of the season is no ones played enough tennis post-Wimby to be able to say anything substantive about their USO prospects and most of what’s going on isn’t broadcast here anyway.

 

 

There’s been the odd pic of a freshly-shorn ARod braving the Atlanta heat winning over Xavier Malisse. But to be honest I’m having a tough time believing that one’s even happening.

 

With that in mind it’s been curiously entertaining watching the whole Delpo situation unfold given that he hasn’t actually struck a ball in 7 months.

 

The train of thought goes something like this.

 

Delpo says he will be playing Thailand –> Which means Delpo might have recovered enough to play the USO –>Delpo will play the USO, or so it’s claimed –> Except, isn’t the USO a mandatory event? –> And Delpo hasn’t officially signalled his withdrawal either –> Which means what exactly?

 

Nothing mostly.

 

It also leaves us back where we started.

 

Thankfully Delpo took charge to confirm that whilst he’s improving he doesn't actually know when he’ll return.

 

Which is kinda what most people thought anyway.

 

Even so, a small part of me wishes he’d let the Twitter frenzy snowball even further – after all, Lord Lucan and Keyser Soze haven’t said they’re not playing the USO either.

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WombleTown: South West London Guide to Road Travel

 

 

Nole, Berdych and Sod all took the “non-scenic” route through (four, four and five sets resp.).

 

Fed, Rafa and Muzz, the “no-nonsense” route.

 

ARod got bogged down somewhere along the M4/M25 interchange, and didn’t get through at all.

 

 

Sod hadn’t dropped a set in reaching this point. Today against Ferrer, he dropped TWO.

 

I’ve long maintained his theoretical prowess on grass – the guys a Kraken on fast, indoor  courts: you would expect some of that, at least, to translate to grass. Yet, until today, along with Kolya, he’d not ever been beyond the fourth round here.

 

All that might be about to change, but if he plays like he did today, I suspect he won’t be around for very long.

 

Masha’s stay here is at an end after going down to Serena in straights in a match where Williams, funnily enough, didn’t play her best tennis. This, after looking like the #1 player she is since the start of the event.

 

And with that ends a short-lived experimental shift in allegiance. It’s not often I root against the Williamses – but Masha looked to me to be playing her best tennis since her return from injury, and I thought the underdog could do with the support.

 

Kimmie/Juju, by contrast, was a horrible let down. I’ve no idea what led to the loss in confidence that was very evident from Juju midway through set two. But it allowed Kimmie back into the match and she eventually sealed the win doing little more than simply going through her very decisive motions. God only knows what would have happened with Serena at the other end.

 

And what of Bartoli (6-4, 6-4 to Pironkova), CazWoz (6-0 6-2 to Kaia Kanepi) and ARod (five sets to Lu)?

 

That first round win Kanepi had over Stosur is, now, looking slightly less of an upset, though I find ARod, and indeed Bartoli, the more troubling.

 

Both, remember, are Wimbledon finalists here, Roddick three times over.

 

"But through three sets I was playing horrendously, I mean really, really badly. I mean, to the point where I was trying to think of how to put balls in the court," added the American, whose face was partly shaded by a red baseball cap.

…

"I didn't get broken for five sets. It wasn't my serve. It wasn't my service games," he snapped.

"It was my returning. That was crap. It was really bad. I haven't been broken since the first set against (Michael) Llodra (in the second round)."

Roddick also had a terse response when asked by a journalist if he was going to be disappointed when he woke up in the morning.

"I'm going to be thrilled. I mean, c'mon. Of course I'm going to be pissed off when I wake up tomorrow. I mean, if you got fired from your job, you probably wouldn't wake up the next day in a great mood," he said.

-- Reuters

 

If week one’s taught us anything, it’s that no one, not even the top seeds, can always be relied on to pull out a straight sets win. Some would go so far as to say that it’s actually good to detox through these types of matches early on.

 

But all that relies on the caveat that your form, however wavering, is built upon some semblance of working parts – “crap returning”, unlike, say, a poor first serve percentage, is more like a spanner in the works.

 

A real shame, it’s not often you can call Roddick for passive shot selection.

 

Had he had been half as inspired as his opponent was out there today, he might even have put him away in four– he certainly ought to have done so in five.

 

As should Bartoli – a ragged three set win might not perhaps have been the scenic route through – it would, however, have been  infinitely preferable to the pile-up that comes of going down 6-4, 6-4 to a relative journeywoman (do we have those?).

 

I don’t need to have seen the match to tell you how “crap” that is too.

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Folie de Grandeur. Men’s Tennis I’m looking at YOU.

No I mean it.

Amelie began coaching Michael Llodra at Queens last week (yes, I know), but she may as well have been cringing over the entire ATP top ten.

Congratulations to Rusty and Querrey for making good in a week when order, reason and good old common sense seemed to fail us.

Actually, I excuse both Rafa and Roger. Their loss last week is not quite the cause for the Requiem Mass some are now undertaking. It certainly doesn’t seem to me to warrant anything more than a half-raised eyebrow.

Nadal got to the quarters, seized up with a hamstring problem against a grass court specialist playing in his own words “the best match of his career”. Hardly surprising given the season he’s just had – perhaps even a blessing in disguise. Besides, it’s a hamstring problem – not the knees – read not a Code Red. Nothing a ten day fishing stint in Majorca can’t fix.

Half Raised Eyebrows.

Federer’s loss to Hewitt, breaking as it does a 15 match winning streak against him and a winning record at Halle that dates back to 2003, is….concerning. It’s also just another instance of his less polished record outside of the Slams. Whether you think that’s because “he doesn’t care” (laughable notion), or is more prone to the unforgiving three-set format, or is simply less attuned to winning these tune-up events, the results speak for themselves. For my part, I defer exercising my right to get more “up in arms” about it for when the same thing starts happening at Slams.

Four other reasons why my arms aren’t up:

1) Federer had his worst clay court season in 6 years, even though in my mind he was playing, during parts of it, better than he was in 2008.

2) For what its worth, I do believe he found his form in Madrid in a final where both he and Nadal moved around like two-bit drunkards, performing at about 70%.

3) The loss in RG? NO ONE beats Sod in that form (see Sod’s first law).

4) Yet, despite all this, he still made the finals of the first grass court event of the season in the same week that no other top ten player even managed a semi.

Eyebrows still only half raised .

***

Not quite as ready to absolve the rest of the “top ten” from tennis purgatory.

Since Muzz lost at Oz he appears to have joined Djoko in a rut of disillusionment whose only distinguishing feature is it’s ability to produce a string of “nearly-man” results. Just about enough to maintain a ranking but not nearly enough to keep you relevant.

Both of them right now, in fact, seem to occupy a no-man’s land of the top ten: neither threatening the top, nor standing in the way of those that do.

Marin and A-Rod are more perplexing. When Roddick took off the early part of the clay season for what sounds like a second honeymoon with his Misuss, he got, what I thought at the time, was a disproportionate amount of flak for it. Sela, unfortunately for A-Rod, gave what’ll likely be a once-in-a-lifetime performance at Queens that lead to him being termed “Baby Reeshie”.

Not quite sure how that works, but it also means Roddick enters Wimbledon with the least amount of matches he’s likely ever had.

As for Marin I’m pretty sure now that at some point , he’ll come through as “this year’s Delpo” – just don’t be surprised if he takes until next year to realise it. He’s certainly taking the more torrid, torturous route.

At RG, I suspect, he was simply unlucky to run into Sod. Who promptly murdered him. Which might explain his loss here this week – hard to string two wins together if you’re not a shadow but a mere chalk outline of yourself.

(Photos: AFP/Getty)

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Roland Garros: Breezy Round Up.

-- Rafa through in straights against 18 year-old ingénue Gianni Mina - or “Baby La-Monf” as he’s come to be known.

The 2-2-2 scoreline doesn’t do justice to the athleticism and shotmaking that made up this match. Ultimately, however, Baby La-Monf’s inability to make good on a single one of a staggering seven break points, as well as to hold on to his own serve, decided it's course.

Never say no to French Flair, though I’d be more accepting of the parallels with Monfils if I end up liking him for the parts he leaves out.

-- Roddick pulled off a five set turnaround of his own against Finland’s Jarko Nieminen.

A fascinatingly low-brow match that demonstrated why I’m rapidly losing patience with A-Rod’s alleged aversion to clay. Seems to me he plays as well as he might on any slow hard court, when he puts his mind to it.

-- Henin, Shaza both through in straights.

Didn’t see either match – Shaza appears to have served well and both mustered up a healthy positive winners/UFE ratio. More important than all of that, however, is that they survived the first round. Don’t pretend any of that was assured.

Don’t look now, but Ana won her opener too.

-- Dinara, on the other hand, ousted in three at the hands of veteran Kimiko Date Krumm.

It’s probably not instructive to comment on what exactly brought her downfall – we all know that serving’s a big part of it.

She’s also, much to the relief of many, parted ways with Zeljko Krajan.

Q. You separated with your coach, I hear. You want to talk a little bit about that? I know he was important to you.

DINARA SAFINA: Yeah. After Madrid I took a decision to stop. I mean, definitely he did the best job than everybody could make with me. He brought me to No. 1 in the world. I mean, not him. Together we came together to No. 1.

But I decided that I wanted to stop, and that's it. I won't say anything.

Q. Was it getting too intense or...

DINARA SAFINA: I don't want to comment anything else.

Q. Maybe another voice...

DINARA SAFINA: I don't want to comment more than this.

Q. So it's difficult for you today, but are you optimistic long‑term for your future?

DINARA SAFINA: Yeah. You know, I am for sure I will not give up. You know, I will have to swallow this loss and keep on moving. I mean, there is nothing more than this, you know.

I was in the worst situations, and I mean, that's life. After rain, always sun comes. I will do my best.

Whatever it is that makes Coach-Player partnerships work, seems for the most part, an intangible business, whatever the populist self-help manuals may have to say about it.

If a match up works well, as it did in this case for the best part of a year, then it seems to me that it ought to be left well alone, however unpalatable it may be to those on the outside.

That she’s recognised the partnership has run it’s course is encouraging too.

Highly disappointing result of course, something which only time will heal. One can only hope she'll remain as optimistic in her weather forecasting when, two weeks from now, she finds herself in the lower dregs of the top twenty.

-- Federer’s three set dismissal of Aussie Peter Luczak was everything the Madrid final wasn’t.

There was big serving, short-angled backhand passes taken on the rise, but surely nothing so spectacular as a sliding drop shot put-away that had the commentary team eating out of his hands.

So when Luczak’s thickly accented ‘sorry-maaite’ was carried by the wind through the stadium after a number of misdirected tosses -- reminiscent of Rafter as it was -- it seemed more an apology at holding up the exhibition of breezy brilliance before us.

-- Resisting the urge to get drawn into all the humourless chatter surrounding Venus’s outfit.

It’s not one I have to resist very hard.

-- Nicolas Mahut won his first ever match at RG in eleven attempts.

With so much talk of clay-court specialism it’s somewhat encouraging to know that 1) grass-court specialists exist as an independent and low-cost TMF alternative too, and 2) that they suffer much of the same adaptive problems as their clay court counterparts.

Think of him as the Nicolas Lapenti of grass.

(Photos: Getty)

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