Friday, 2 April 2010

Miami: “Forehand Vulgaris”

The funny thing is I didn’t expect this one to be as “off the charts” or “lights out” as it was being bigged up to be.

Kimmie had come into the match the more stable and confident of the two – there was simply no reason not to expect her to come through in (possibly) three well-fought sets.

In the end it was something less agreeable – overwrought, taxing, way too long and at times headed nowhere. Kimmie displayed the squeaky clean shotmaking that’s been a hallmark of her return for one half, and played the other like like it was 2004 all over again.

She may well have pipped Justine to the post but it was arguably JuJu’s forehand that was the bigger story of her undoing.

Justine has (almost since the very beginning of her second coming) taken it upon herself not just to upgrade that serve of hers, but to thwack several shades of felt off anything that comes her way.

She’s clearly comfortable enough in her skin doing this – even on the very precipice of defeat. How this squares up with that well publicised intent of hers to win Wimbledon remains to be seen.

But If JuJu has seen fit to rip the cover off every return sent her way, then she’ll have to be prepared to live with the consequences of her debauchery.

In the short term it’s led to the conception of forehand-vulgaris.

Forehand-vulgaris is the miserable lovechild Justine might rather sooner forget about, the unfortunate issue of a bold, but dangerous liaison with Big-Babe Tennis.

Forehand-vulgaris usually picks it’s moments to inflict maximum damage – unravelling JuJu's game at the moments she should be most in control - just like the forgotten lovechild it is might noisily turn up uninvited at the charity ball of an exclusive country club, intent on undermining Juju’s carefully cultivated image of respectability.

What are the chances it shows up at the Wimbledon final?

(Photo by Michael Heiman/Getty Images)

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