Oz: The Non-Bracketology Post.

It’s happened.

Nole has been drawn against Murray. Fed will play Rafa in the semis of a Slam for the first time since RG 2005.

Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4
Nole	Murray	Delpo	Berd
Ferrer	Kei	Federer	Rafa

Q1	Q2	Q3	Q4
Woz	Vika	Maka	Errani
Kim	Aga	Pova	Petra

 

Legend

Hoity-Toity

Upwardly-Mobile

Sympathy Vote

Ideas above their station

Stacked


Let me guess, the counter-conspiracy theory goes something like this: Oz are merely performing an elaborate tap-dance, so we might lower our guard to all that nasty draw-rigging that regularly goes on at every Slam. There’s even Maths involved.

Whatever. But this is weird – Vika comes into this 1) uninjured and otherwise healthy, 2) having won an event just this weekend 3)  drawn as far from Serena as is geometrically and humanely possible.

Anyone that’s followed Vika’s GS career knows that this is akin to jellyfish  discovering a colony of unicorns on Mars. Knowing her luck it’s probably best to wait and see exactly how it plays out.



Other bits and bobs: 

1) Murray goes through Ryan,Ernie, Gael and Tsonga before even getting a crack at Nole. In as much as there is a short straw, I’d say he drew it.

2)  Tomic/Fer (R1)..…just, AHAHAHAHA. 

3)  Pova/Dulko (R1)….NOT FUNNY….NOT COOL

4)  Maria goes through Dulko, Sveta/Sabine and Serena before even getting a crack at Petra….so short it barely qualifies as a straw. 

5)  The Chak is back! 

6)  Other than a R16 encounter with Milos (which sounds completely groovy), can’t imagine Nole will have much trouble making the semis. 

7)  I’d like Fed/Delpo to be the QF blockbuster some are hoping for….Delpo just doesn’t seem quite there yet. 

8) Not to be unkind, but Rafa’s section is full of has-beens. There’s a small chance the likes of Nalbie nabs a set off him but that’s it. 

9) Would be nice to see Grigor make something of his life…at some point. Especially after interviews like this. 

10) LRob has just qualified to play JJ in R1. She almost squeezed a set from Maria last year. I’m not predicting an upset, but it should be colourful. More than anything involving JJ usually is.  

11)  Kim/Li R16….When was the last time two current Grand Slam Champions played each other this early???? 

12) Difficult to know what to expect from Woz right now –  I can see her getting through her early rounds, although I can also see Lucie upsetting her…maybe even in straights. Hope she survives – kinda want to see her go through Kim. It will be a big big Mountain Gorilla off her back. 

13)  Marion aside, Petra’s draw is kinda cake-walky (sorry Sam). As is always the case with Petra, this has absolutely no bearing on her chances of winning or losing ANYTHING.



Potential Early Round Mashups:

MURRAY/RYAN (R1), Troicki/Gael (R3),  Dolgo/Tomic (R3), Grigor/Baggy (R3), Rafa/Young (R3)

Lucie/JJ (R3), Kim/Dani (R3), Vika/Watson (R1), Flavia/Peng (R3), Fran/Julia (R3), Bepa/Kanepi (R3), Domi/Serena (R3), Sabine/Sveta (R3), POVA/DULKO (R1), Sam/Nadia (R3), Marion/Zheng (R3), Pavs/Ana (R3), Kiri/Petra (R3)

Maybe it’s just me, but are WTA third rounds usually this stacked?


R4 meet’n not-greets:

(ATP) Nole/Milos, Janko/Ferrer, Murray/Gael, Fed/Dolgo, Rafa/Nalb
(WTA) Woz/JJ, KIM/LI, Vika/Peng, Fran/Aga, Bepa/Serena, Pova/Sveta, Sam/Marion

QF drive-bys:

(ATP): Nole/Ferrer, Murray/Tsonga, Delpo/Fed, Berd/Rafa
(WTA): Woz/Kim, Vika/Fran, Serena/Pova. Marion/Petra

Oh yeah. And that small matter of Petra/Serena facing off in the semis.

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You Just Knew.

Sorry to anounce that I had to withdraw from the Australian Open with a lower back stress fracture.Going back home,will miss my Aussie fans!

— Andrea Petkovic (@andreapetkovic) January 11, 2012

No, that’s just what you expect to happen only hours after you dare to make a post criticising an almost universally popular player.

The long and the short of it is that this stinks. Stress fractures in the back demand to be taken very seriously indeed (just ask Dinara).

Petko made no less than three Slam QFs last year, one of which, of course, was at Melbourne. It wasn’t just me wanting to see her build upon (or at least to defend) that.

After that loss, incidentally, she gave one of the most thoughtful pressers I think I might have seen from any player, ever – commenting in particular on that infamous Sveta/Franny dog fight that had also finished around the same time. It was as sincere, as well-mannered and insightful as anything you’re likely to see, the very embodiment of “giving to your fans”.

In other words, it was Andrea Petkovic (rather than Petkorazzi) at her very best both on and off-court.

I’ll miss her.

***

Not even Caro (wrist injury) has been spared in what will come to be known years from now as the ‘Lucky Loser Bonanza’ of Aus 2012. Is our eventual Champion be a qualifier? Stranger things have happened.

You’d think that if Caro’s not safe, no one is – and yet Vika, of all people, somehow still is.

Caro’s almost certain to lose the top spot now – Petra will be crowned new WTA Prom Queen by simply winning her next two matches. And even if it doesn’t happen now, you imagine it soon will.

In other words (and I know this might be painful for some) , on the grounds of taste alone, it’s time to move on from that “Slamless” thing.
Read More...

Fare thee well 2011: 43 of the most fugly, flatulent and forlorn moments of the year

As good as 2011 was (and it was criminally good even without Nole), it was also filled with that quaint mix of fallacy, melancholia, scandal and fuglies (on and off-court) that, in a strange way, does its bit towards holding the year together – imbuing it with a sense of well-rounded closure without which it would just be a string of tennis matches – some good, some barely worth mention.




As far as I can tell, there isn’t a year end list recounting this phenomena. 

I’ve tried to be chronological. I don’t pretend to think the list complete.

Feel free to weigh in if you think I missed something out.

***

1) (Jan, Melbourne) FAIL: Henin re-retires from tennis

Well that blows? Except it didn’t….not quite.

For what it’s worth, I rather enjoyed the few modest successes she enjoyed during the first half of of her comeback in 2010 and felt she was rather unlucky with the elbow fracture.

But when she bowed out for the 2nd time in Aus this year, just days after one of the greatest WTA Slam matches of all time, the pervasive disillusionment and ennui seemed to have rather more to do with that suffocating sense of un-retirement déjà vu, than it did with any purported despair at having lost a much loved (and unloved) legend of the game.

Not a good mix.

2) (Jan, Melbourne) FORLORN: Rafa’s not quite GS

To be honest it sorta felt right that Rafa not hold all 4 Slams – as I said at the time, that seemed to represent a level of perfection that ought to remain beyond us…for now.



But it’s not often you see Rafa slumped sobbing into a towel – not all of it stifled.

And it’s still a little eerie to consider that Rafa got within just two matches of pulling off the holy grail of the Open Era (yes I realise Fed’s been there 3 times too). 

Can’t help imagining how his season might have turned out if he did.

3) BONUS: Up’n never-quite-comers

Perhaps I’m being harsh. Perhaps I’m not. Hear me out.

Grigor: A star is not born. It never is.

Ernie: Not even sure he qualifies as a young’un any more. But to quote one of the best tweets all year, “First he was up and coming…then he wasn’t”.

Milos: Do we really need another big-serving gangloid? One that seems rather too prone to injury, in that all too familiar way gangloids often are? Wish him well, but really?

Dolgopoloved: He lures you in with his kooky, flamboyant and very sexy dance moves, that leave the charred remains of Soderling, Wawrinka and Tsonga in their wake.  It’s a boat load of fun until he reveals himself equally capable of losing in straights to the 133rd player in the world. And I’m not even convinced that Alice-Band is as charming as it once was.

Harrison/Tomic: “Hooning” and outbursts I wish I could term “uncharacteristic” mar what should have otherwise been a breakthrough year.



All of which leaves Donald Young. Yes, he’s an acquired taste, but if he repeats this year’s success after his much-maligned decision to put ‘Mom’ in charge again, I won’t be sorry.

4) (Feb) MELANCHOLIA: Mario Ancic turns his back on tennis.

Now here’s a retirement that really blows.

5) (March, Miami) FUGLY: When 52 = 100

I’m torn between this and this for WTA meltdown of the year.

Ana’s choke (and it was a choke) was truly the fugly-of-fuglies – you’ve got to be very imaginative and very dedicated to put a positive spin on that (many did).

Even so, 52 UFEs from Caro equals over a hundred from anyone else. You’ve got to rewrite Maths itself to make sense of that.

6) (March, Indian Wells) UNSUNG: “When no one remembers your name”

Or even your face.

I’ve mostly given up on Marion ever receiving much of the right kind of press.

It’s true she hasn’t always made life easy for herself (particularly in relation to her compatriots). She’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And she certainly doesn’t feel the need to pander to the media like a trained baboon.




But this year, this phenomenon seemed to me to reach a head when those nice people at Yahoo! Sports didn’t see fit to include even a single pic of the runner up in their widely-viewed photostream (not unless you specifically searched for it). An event some persist in referring to as “the 5th Slam”. 

Try and imagine Petko receiving the same treatment.

There’s laziness, there’s wilful obfuscation, and there’s straight-up disrespect. Take your pick - I’d say it’s all of them.

7) (March, Indian Wells) UNNECESSARY: Dinaroshka’s short-lived and not-so-sweet comeback 

The absurd, one-sided set of demolitions Dinara endured at the beginning of the year were both callous and uncalled for, and should probably be the subject of a UN inquiry into the use of excessive force.

Bartoli…..Kim…..and then Pova: neither defeat, incidentally, was incurred through any great fault of her own, yet she was allowed a total of just three games over all three matches. That’s just mean.

And then, after just one more month, her (what I guess we’d call chronic) back injury stopped her from playing altogether. Few believe she’s likely to return.

Sometimes it’s not a beautiful sport.

8) (April)  CALAMITY: Bepa fired Sergei for some guy named “Karen”

There are people still undergoing therapy for this.

It was like seeing Kate ditch William and shacking up with Tom Jones.

9) (April, Monte Carlo) FAIL: Jurgen Schmergen

Love Jurgen, but his attempts at what I guess we should call “fighting talk” (coming, unsurprisingly, after his defeat of Fed) made me snigger.

Daveed beat him in straights.

10) REDEMPTION: Robin Soderling

Ok, look. I’m glad Robin’s getting the love he is and only now being truly admitted in from the cold with many Rafa fans even now prepared to concede he may have been “misunderstood” (very popular word).



<brusque-haughty-Southern-accent> Just remember there were a bunch of us on this bandwagon first – we’all already took the best seats back when it was unfashionable to do so, and I’m not even remotely sorry that there’s standing room only. </brusque-haughty-Southern-accent>

In order to convince y’all, our guy had to, 1) put an end to two of the greatest streaks in history by two of the best players to have ever played the game, and 2) to then be sidelined by an illness (6 months and counting), one that has a rather nasty habit of putting paid to entire careers.

The uncomfortable parallels with Delpo, where a gruff, suspicious type gains acceptance (salvation?) after sacrificing themselves on the altar of Fedal, are only too evident.

All of which is to say that after a promising start to the year (and two years of laying siege to the top four), Sod was genuinely missed, not just by us hardcore fans, not just by tennis fans, but by tennis itself (and, I’d like to think, his enemies).

Wait, there’s more – he won’t be playing Aus. :S


11) BONUS: “Rafa had a rubbish year”

Sorry, no he didn’t. He won a Slam, reached the finals of two others, won a Masters title, reached the finals of four others, going out in each instance to a guy that only lost seven matches all year.

In other words, the only reason Rafa lost “all those finals” is that it was Rafa making “all those finals”.

You can certainly argue, as many have, that losing to the same guy so many times leaves scar tissue. That’s almost certainly true, but you’ll have a hard time convincing anyone with a functioning cerebral cortex  it would have been very different had anyone else made those finals.

12) (May, Paris) GAG: The Ball-Kid that jumped the gun

Remember him? That poor ball-kid who ran out on court before Viktor had finished putting a smash away?

And when Viktor pretended that was the reason he SPECTACULARLY blew a 5-2 fifth set lead to a hobbling Muzz?

Yeah, that was stupid.


13) (May, Paris) FLATULENCE: The wonder that is AbFab

If there’s an unvarying truth about the tennis season it’s that there’ll be at least one hedonistic atrocity during the French Open and that AbFab will be at the centre of it.

14) (June, Paris) SCANDAL: “I wags when I likes – and I likes when I wag”



Oh get over yourself. Not only have we seen other tennis players do this, we’ve seen other sports people do this. STOP PRETENDING HE THREATENED TO DEVOUR YOUR FIRST BORN.

Rafa fist-pumps with a raised knee, Nole beats his chest and merges his grunts into a celebratory roar.  Not everyone likes that either. I think we can tolerate the odd, UNHABITUAL finger-wag from Federer.

Your faux-outrage is convincing no one.


15) FALLACY: The Grunting issue that just won’t go away

Not even in the face of the biggest WTA breakthrough since Maria Sharapova in 2004. Not even after almost every player asked about it has said, in one form or another, that they couldn’t care less.

16) BONUS: “Maria had a rubbish year”

Sorry, no she didn’t. She won two Premier-fives (one on her worst surface), reached the finals of Wimbledon, the semis of RG, the finals of Miami and the semis of IW.

You can certainly argue that Pova’s game has habitually deserted her at the moments she’s had most to play for – that’s not even vaguely disputatious. You can also choose to speak that little thing known as “the truth” in relation to the Wimbledon final: that every last bit of it was on Petra’s racquet – no one with an ounce of common sense considers Petra beatable that day.

The heart of this particular fallacy relies on making a fake conflation between Maria’s admittedly untimely, disappointing play (about which many reasonable concerns might be expressed), and the idea that this somehow precludes her from ever winning a Slam (about which many unreasonable and downright salacious things have been said).

The latter may or may not be true. But the fact is that, as of now, the numbers simply don’t back it up.



Maria’s tennis may be in the gutter, but she is clearly looking at the stars.

Assume for a moment that Vika took more than just that one set from Petra (who can still go AWOL) at Wimbledon and made the final. Can you honestly not see Pova winning that?

17) (Sep, New York) FUGLY: “…on the inside”

Wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the few remaining neutrals in the stadium ended up rooting for Stosur after Serena’s little episode of self-destruction – the only truly “ugly” thing on court that night.

What hasn’t perhaps been emphasised enough – and what made it worse for me –  was whom she chose to pick on.

Eva Azderaki???  That’s like picking on Little Miss Muffet.

Equally repulsive were the amount of Serena fans who chose to make light of and, in some cases, to defend it – often from the same group that like to crap on Andy Roddick for his “anger management” issues.

Serena is what she is. She has her ugly side like anyone else. She’s unlikely to change very much. She’s gotten enough heat for it. And not all of her run-ins with authority figures have been her fault.

But it seems to me you’ve lost your right to be taken seriously if you made light of this blunder.

18) (Sep, New York) SCARY: The Slap

Not the Aussie novel, but the single most spectacular moment of this and most other years I care to remember. ‘Decisive’ doesn’t quite capture it.



I mostly included it for the sake of completeness. And because it’s flat-out scary.

Understandably, it’s provoked all sorts of reactions, ire and outrage,  euphoria and delirium.

People clearly have  a lot of very strong (and not always pent up) feelings over it – feelings they mostly don’t know what to do with.

I don’t rightly know whether it’s a good or a bad thing – or whether it’s even meaningful to think in those terms.

To this day, I haven’t even been able to trace where the ball actually landed.

Fed, of course, dismissed it as “luck”, a child-like “slap” – the kind of ‘street tennis’ he wasn’t brought up to play. Novak’s supporters (and many others), of course,  marvel at its sheer audacity.

Where you choose to sit on that divide is largely a matter of philosophy. You should be able to see both sides.

In the end, it got Nole what he wanted. And that, I suspect, is all that counts.

19)  (June) BLAH: The Gimelstob/Feli bust up

Noteworthy for the revelation that Feli gets hot under the collar.

Non-noteworthy for the revelation that Gimelstob should get anyone hot under the collar.

20) BONUS: “Murray had a rubbish year”

His post-Oz slump was uniquely icky. He continues to have trouble with Fedalovic at the Slams. And people are right to ‘meh’ over his clean-up of the Asian Swing.

But there’s nothing rubbish about 4 Slam SFs. Or, for that matter, the best clay court season of his career. Next.

21) (June) FAIL: Lynn Barber played at being Rafa iconoclast.

I get what she was trying to do. I just don’t think she got what she was trying to do….let alone the matter of actually doing it.

22) (June) HEGEMONY: “Script-Gate”

I’m told there’s an argument that it would be an existential threat to journalists’ livelihoods and credibility if they didn’t get first bite of the players’ press-conference cherry.

That the only way around this is withholding those pressers from the public domain for at least 24 hours, thereby giving them an ample window within which to work on and release their pieces, well before ‘Boris Blogger’ is allowed to  get his dirty mits on them.

I’ve only ever been partially convinced with that explanation.

What’s criminally unambiguous is how much this smacks of snobbery and hegemony.

23) (June, Wimbledon) EPIPHANY: Pironokva discovers the existence of ranking points outside of the Slams.

Simply astonishing.

So ends one of the great mysteries of life – how Pironkova manages to move like a fairy whilst razing the competition at Wimbledon, but is unable to otherwise win two matches together all year.


This year she made the QFs at Wimbledon and was one of only two players to take a set off Petra. No one was very surprised.

I’m still not completely sure this wasn’t a hoax. But I kind of want it to be true as it would explain EVERYTHING (and an awful lot besides).

24) (June, Wimbledon) UNSUNG: Domi made the QFs of Wimbledon meaning she’s now reached the R16 or better at every Slam.

QFs or better if you exclude Oz. She also won her (long overdue) first WTA title.

I get that she hasn’t the fanbase others do. I get that it’s unreasonable to expect non-fans and neutrals to undergo the levels of ecstasy experienced by that modest fanbase (of which I’m unashamedly a member). I’m even willing to concede that she hasn’t always helped her cause .

I don’t get why such a WTA milestone barely gets a mention by any of the outlets (mainstream and those that like to think of themselves as “indie”). Try and imagine the euphoric whiplash if and when, say, Kirilenko or Pavlyuchenkova (nothing against either of them) makes that same milestone.

Players have inspired cults for doing far less. Instead, this was deemed more relevant.


25) (July) FAIL:  Janko/Nole stage a mock assassination.

Tasteless, yes. Damning? No.

And before anyone brings it up, no  it’s not a “cultural thing” either.

No more than humiliating chair umpires is “an American thing”, or punching your racquet strings to the point of drawing blood is “a British thing”.

26) REDEMPTION: Mardy Fish

I never really got why it was considered “trendy” to hate on Mardy Fish. He has his dark side like most of us (and seems to consider being unable to speak French a matter of pride) – still, the reaction has always seemed disproportionate, out of control and, at times, downright ugly.

In any case, at some point early on this year his image seemed to undergo a transition.

Much of it can be traced, of course, to the fact that he began winning. That usually helps. But it’s also a simple matter of practicality: they simply transferred their bile to a new (and easier) target: Ryan Harrison.

And it all went swimmingly well (for a while): those that would once have pointed and laughed, looked on dotingly as Mardy publicly rebuked Ryan for a childish, braggy tweet.

@ryanharrison92 Those are the kinda tweets that get ya unfollowed...

— Mardy Fish (@MardyFish) November 7, 2011

It was a fair point, but didn’t in my mind seem like it deserved such public censure – older and more mature players than Ryan have gotten away with far worse.

What was more likely is that they’d simply overcompensated in their appropriation of Mardy; an easy mistake to make  in the presence of what they deemed a greater and more obviously obnoxious evil – that would be Ryan, for those still with me.
Either way, there was no doubt about it – Mardy’s stock was up.

The fake-out was revealed for what it was with the “don’t-speak-French-dumbass” episode which is when the illusion was shattered, and all those latent Fish anxieties resurfaced once more.

God only knows what 2012 will bring.


27) (July, Wimbledon) HEARTBREAK: Muzz’s Wimbledon SF loss.

I played the blame game.



Difficult to conceive of this being anywhere near as heartbreaking as the Oz final, which I still maintain had much more to do with his own poor performance.

But the Wimbledon SF seemed to me to underline how far he still has to go when Rafa, Fed or Novak are redlining – or whether he’ll even get there. That’s much worse. Isn’t it?

28) (Aug) ENIGMA: Caro parted ways with Piotr

And then sort of didn’t. And then did, again. Kinda. I dunno.

Whatever. Ricardo-Caro on court-coaching will be one of the early highlights of next year.

29) (Aug, Cincinnati) GROSS-OUT: The worst tie-break of the year

The closing moments of this were probably far worse than even Muzz/Haase. Whereas the latter’s atrocities were at least diffuse, this one seemed to have all the toxins distilled into the final set tie break.

At the end of it all, as if in relief, Dasco squatted down and spat on the court (he might just as well have barfed or blown his nose), an apt way to seal in the EVIL. Nevermore to be mentioned amongst polite society. Or, you know, normal people.


30) (Aug, Canada) NUTTY: Canada did its thing…

And it was WACK.

31) (Sep) BLAH: That familiar sound of itchy fanatics undercutting Noles season.

Whatever took them so long?

32)  (Sep, New York) BEATDOWN: Rafa’s 2nd worst loss of the year.

He managed to wangle a set out of it. And perhaps just the faintest scrap of dignity. That was all he wangled out of it.

33)  (Sep, New York) FLATULENCE: The worst match of the year

Bar none. WTA included. Challengers/Futures....in fact every ITF match played this year.

What happens in Ashe stays in Ashe.

34) FLAT: Li Na and Sam Stosur

Don’t get me wrong. What they’ve achieved this year is MONUMENTAL, each in its own way. Sam winning the USO, in particular, is perhaps my favourite moment of the year. Vindication, for her many long-suffering fans and of their undying belief in her game.

But if you’re gonna manhandle Caro for not being up to scratch in the Slams, it’s only fair that you do the same for those unable (or unwilling) to perform outside of them.



Both Sam and Li are top ten players whose tennis ability is undisputed amongst even the harshest of critics. Both’s non-Slam record this year has been DISMAL. Neither, as far as I can tell, was injured.  In other words, there’s no excuse.

What this also means is you really can’t be that confident of their chances next year (the way you might have been with Fran after RG 2010).

Who would you choose to watch your back in a street fight? Pova would be in most people’s top 3, you might imagine Fran or Marion (who didn’t even make a Slam final) would feature highly too…a few might even pick Caro.

Not many would choose Li or Sam. It’s easy to see why.


35) (Oct, China) FAIL: The journo that dared mention the ‘R’ word. Roddick was having none of it.

And no, this wasn’t a “cultural thing” either. We really need to stop confusing flat-out blunders with culture.

36) (Nov) BLAH: Nole’s season finally caught up with him

He pulled out of Paris for which he was flayed alive, and then bowed out quite timidly in London.

No one was very surprised.

37) (Nov, London) UNDERWHELMED:  The ATP WTF photo shoot blew

After the Abbey Road and Downing St., I’m, frankly, kinda outraged a bigger fuss hasn’t been kicked up over how rubbish this was.

38) (Nov, London) OUCH: Rafa’s worst loss of the year

The score was true. Just like the man said.

39)  BONUS: “I saw her first…No I did…No me….Me”.

Major, MAJOR peeve. Apologies in advance for going on for so long.

Every time we get a new talent emerging – and especially when they have their breakthrough the way Petra did this year –  we seem to get a rush of self-satisfied morons who claim to have been in attendance many years ago when talent-x (then a scraggly looking teen) went out in round two of a Challenger event so obscure it probably doesn’t even exist anymore.

The obscurity is deliberately selected and is in direct proportion to the accolade you are now expected to confer upon them for having “a good eye”, as well as being more generally awesome than you in all other respects. No – it’s actually that infantile.

Think of it as their vicarious version of the rags-to-riches tale. Their moment to bask in the radiance of talent-x’s reflected glory.

They remind me of those knobs that sometimes turn up on the IMDB message boards claiming to be Johnny Depp’s 2nd cousin.

What are you – nine years old?



Firstly, NO ONE CARES that Petra was your, my or anyone else’s “discovery”….like, at all. Whatever brownie points they think they might be accruing with these (not even that fanciful) tales don’t seem worth it somehow. Most of us stopped doing this sort of thing at the age of 10.

Secondly,  most people I know make it a rule to disregard anything not immediately verifiable  – the outlandish and the not so outlandish.  So even in the unlikely event that their little unmagical fairy tale turns out to be true, it’ll be treated as guff. And it’ll be entirely proper that it be treated as guff. Most of us learnt this lesson early on in life. 

The most frightening aspect of this pre-school behaviour is that it’s exhibited by relatively mature people of a certain age – people that seem well grounded in all other respects, but who then suddenly, mysteriously, take leave of their senses.

Takeout: Pics (and preferably links), or it didn’t happen. And I doubt anyone will care even after that.


40)  (December) CLOAK AND DAGGER: Why exactly did it take so long to appoint an ATP boss?

This one had all the political intrigue and mystery of a bestselling spy novel.

Ian Ritchie was wikileaked before any official announcement – that kinda scuppered things.

Krajicek was deemed short on business experience by Federer. But what role did the discovery that he follows the unsavoury Islamophobe Geert Wilders on Twitter have to play?

Then, with only 9 days of this year left, we suddenly hear someone called Brad Drewett has been appointed.

He seems, from what I can tell, to have  the right blend of business and tennis experience. Which kinda begs the question, where’s he been all this time?

It seems, to put it charitably, like something they cobbled together at the 11th hour. Or, to put it less charitably, an appointment of last resort.

41) FUGLY: Fed 2nd only to Nelson Mandela

Not that I have any trouble accepting that Federer (or any one below him on the list) should be “liked” or “respected”.

All the same, this made me hurl. And I make no apologies for it.

It would be no different if it were Rafa, Novak or any of the other top 10 most "liked, respected, admired and trusted" world leaders juxtaposed alongside a lifelong activist who forsook all the pleasures of life most of us take for granted in favour of a struggle for freedom and equality that cost him almost 30 of the best years of his life.

But perhaps that's the fault of the survey and iffy sounding metrics like "liked" and "admired".

In any case, the survey also uncovered that older respondents tend to be more critical (not surprising), as do Latin Americans (really?); women tend to be drawn to corporate figures (although also more critical of the female ones) whilst men favour sports stars. World leaders don't fair particularly well at all.

Not to be a spoilsport, but all of that seems far more compelling.


42) FOLIE DE-GRANDEUR: Trial by Noah

Every year an ex-player (not always a legend) makes a tired bid to make themselves relevant again.

This is mostly harmless (if a little embarrassing) and usually takes the form of making the most outrageous picks and forecasts imaginable. It’s something of an annual pageant.

”Fed will never win a Slam again”, “Rafa’s washed up”, “Novak has peaked”, “Murray will win multiple Slams”…that sorta thing.



This year that role was filled by Yannick Noah, who chose to crap not just on Rafa, not even just on Spanish tennis….but on all of Spanish Sport.

It was, to put it mildly, in a class of its own.

There’s kangaroo courts. There’s the many layers of hideous-kinky that lie below that. And then (and only then), do we get to the lowest depths  of farce and ego-mania that is the ‘Trial by Noah’.

43) FOLIE DE GRANDEUR: Martina Hingis and the (incessant whiny) tale of the on-again-off-again Olympics mixed-doubles partnership.

First it was “leaked” that Fed’s people had approached her. Then she denied any such thing had happened. Then it seemed to be on-again. And then it didn’t.

By now, most had lost interest and were willing and wishing it would remain “off-again”. Permanently.

The same might be said of all those insufferable “teasers” that would seem to indicate she may be persuaded to compete in Oz. Singles, doubles, I really don’t care.

Only Mc-Wozil-Roy, inspire more tepid and vacuous thoughts. And sometimes, I’m not even sure of that.

The moral of the tale must surely be how it’s possible to kill what might have once been a credible story by running it again, and again, AND AGAIN,  through the rumour mill.

And if there’s a “story” here at all, it’s that this was THE MOST BORING NON STORY OF THE YEAR.
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Pope’s Catholic, Dawkins Atheist, Caro passive…

Caroline Wozniacki went out in three hairy sets to Kaia Kanepi in Tokyo yesterday.

Cue the expected, derisory chorus calling into question not just her #1 ranking and style of play, but also her taste in men, not to mention the very essence of her being.

Things don’t improve very much once you get past all that blather either, as the narrative surrounding Caro’s now been hijacked by two equally blinkered points of view.

Depending on whom you speak with, losses like this are either simply symptomatic of the passive nature of her game we’ve come to know so much of over the past two years, or inexplicable, inexcusable shockers.

The truth, as always, is sandwiched somewhere inconspicuously in between the two extremes.

Passive doesn’t win Slams. We know this. Passive may bag you shedloads of ranking points but it isn’t nearly enough to beat the tour’s elite. We hold these truths to be self-evident because they are (and, consequently, need not be drilled into us anymore).




But passive sometimes also gets beaten at the lower tier events by lower ranked talents in their element. And when that happens you always seem to get a raft of analysts feigning shock, horror – disgust even.

Yet then, as now, the loss is down to passive being trumped by daring, unflinching, aggressive play. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t let’s go pretending Kaia’s incapable of that.

The other unhelpful extreme is to pretend that absolutely nothing has been remiss with Miss Wozniacki this year. There was that loss to Petko in Miami in which she posted a staggering 52 UFEs. Followed by two consecutive losses to Goerges in April. Perhaps understandably thereafter, even in matches she’s won, her confidence has seemed dented in a way which simply wasn’t a problem even 8 months back.

Bleat all you want about the merits (and demerits) of passive play, but it’s kind of a big deal when a player that struggles to hit double digit winners begins hitting double digit UFEs – sometimes on a scale that would be considered triple digits for anyone else.

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USO: Sooper Dooper Saturday.

For all the analysis that you’ll see in the build up to this one, I’m not much convinced anything matters more than their respective form coming into this…which has been sublime.

Both men know how to play on all surfaces. Both rely on a multitude of weapons rather than any single WMD to bring their opponents down. Both have an appetite for victory which is, perhaps, second to none – preferably over each other. 

Sure, Novak might have the slight edge in terms of age and what he’s achieved this year – but how much does that really matter with the day’s rest and both having only dropped a set to get here?

I want five sets. We’ll almost certainly get four.  Broken glass and blood all over the place.

Oh I know he got “medieval” on Roddick’s a*s last night, and I also know how one match like that is sometimes all Rafa needs to light the touch paper. I’m still not much convinced his level of play is quite up there with the rest of the top four – and certainly not comparable with what we’ve seen from Novak and Roger over the past week.

Murray’s made all four Slam semis this year: almost an  academic point now that he’s a regular feature of  the business end of most majors. Even so, that has to count for something, as does the fact that all his wins over Rafa have been on hard courts.

In some ways, an even more loaded match than any of the mens semis.

If Serena plays the way she did in the first set against Vika, Caro will be lucky to get more than a handful of games.

Except that hasn’t quite been the story of the fortnight.

If she plays as loosely as she opened against Ana or Pavlyuchenkova, Caro is well-equipped (perhaps more than anyone) to make her work for it.

What happens from that point on depends largely on Serena’s ability to shorten rallies and keep the UFEs in check. Caro’s only chance lies in doing the precise opposite – if she can move Serena around and lengthen the rallies, she certainly won’t be the first to tire, Serena will.

What will probably take place is something in between those two extremes.

It’s certainly not impossible for Caro to pull through in a tight third set. I think I might even prefer that if only to see her haters squirm. We also need to see an end to the “real number one” debate. I’ve never been one of those that thought the rankings system was at fault – but if she pulls this off, bitchers will continue to bitch and the hatred will be exposed for the vindictive, ideological hoax that it is.

What or who is Angelique Kerber? And since when does Sam Stosur make Slam semis again? On surfaces other than clay?

If you’ve been following the scheduling kerfuffle over the past few days you’ll know that we’re not supposed to be treating either of these two women as serious Slam semi-finalists.

Even now (“Super Saturday”), there’s not a single photo of Stosur in Yahoo’s tennis photostream. Not one. (Hint: The shabby treatment extends further than mere tournament administrators).

I get that the schedulers have had to deal with an insane number of nightmarish factors this time round, including rain delays, a visit by FLOTUS, 911 commemorations and water bubbles appearing on Louis Armstrong. I get that this has sometimes meant those schedulers coming in for an unwarranted shellacking by hot-heads that don’t know or care to understand the competing concerns they face.

I also know straight up disrespect when I see it.

Leaving aside that Sam is a two-time Slam finalist, this might be the one and only time Kerber ever gets to breath the air on Ashe.  These, in short, are the moments players (however lowly) play for and live for – a far cry from a R1 loss to Laura Robson at Wimbledon this year. Heavens knows, she’s earnt the right.

Sam should pull through (you’d think) but heaven hath no fury like a journeywoman scorned.

And boy has she (and Sam) been scorned. Let there be no illusions about that.

 

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USO: On moral superiority, double-standards and ideological dislike

So when Caro gives a presser with a giant inflatable kangaroo or gate-crashes Novak’s presser, she’s a snivelling attention seeker. But when Petko boogie-woogies after her wins (in some cases over an injured opponent) or hosts those utterly try-hard spoof reporter skits, that’s her “being herself”, “entertaining”,  a refreshing instance of “personality”. Got it.

Leaving aside the question of Caro’s latest little ill-judged PR disaster (and it was a disaster) or which of the two works the media better (I think we’re all agreed Petko’s more comfortable in her skin), there’s a wider question of double standards here that’s, frankly, beginning to grate.

Let’s stop pretending for a moment: both are engaged in attention seeking. I know Petko's supporters expend a lot of effort in dressing it up as something else but that’s precisely what it is, irrespective of which of the two does it better. Nothing wrong with that, though not everyone in the media spotlight chooses to go down that road.

More importantly, however, I think it’s a mistake to assume everyone finds Petko’s routines as adorable or entertaining as her supporters would have us believe. With precious few exceptions, I mostly find them just as try-hard as Caro’s ill-conceived efforts over the past year. Clearly that’s no reason to hate on her, but the moral superiority with which her supporters use them to laud her whilst simultaneously taking a sh*t on Caro is really too much.

 

Feel free to dislike Caro or anyone else, but drop the pretence that it’s down to this or that incident.


And this isn’t about Petko either whom I really quite like, or at least have come round to a little since managing to disentangle myself from the cloying narrative on her being “good for tennis” – which, if anything, has gotten in the way of getting to know her properly. Even so,  I can’t say I’m especially sold on either. And even where I may have found things to appreciate in both women, none of that will have been because of their respective PR stunts.

My point is, whether you choose to loathe Caro as a simpering media whore, or serenade Petko as the second coming of Mary Poppins, both are based on little more than a subjective assessment – that slippery thing more commonly referred to as “taste”. And there’s an intrinsic hypocrisy at the heart of the idea that your preference for Petko’s stunts is based on anything more substantive than personal taste.

My own view is she’s a savvy enough individual to work her charms without resorting to gimmickry. I know how adorable so many seem to find such gimmickry – it’s not my cup of tea. But that too is a question of taste, and only taste – nothing more, nothing less. Its certainly not a reason to heap abuse on her the way some do on Caro, or to pretend we know anything about either woman.

Those who celebrate Petko will find reasons to do so even if it were her, and not Caro, impersonating Rafa in agony.

Those that hate on Caro, will find reasons to do so even where her attempts at humour are a little less ill-judged….they’re ideologically bound to.

Yet no quarter is spared by many of Petko’s fans or Caro’s haters in dressing up their feelings as something more elevated. It really isn’t – and pretending it is, is far more irritating than any number of  inflatable kangaroos.
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Caro parts ways with Piotr.

World No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki and her father, Piotr, have ended their coaching relationship, Ekstra Bladet reports. The father and daughter apparently discussed her moving in another direction after Dominika Cibulkova upset Wozniacki at Wimbledon. The Wozniackis are said to have hired a new private coach to travel with Caroline, but he/she has yet to come on board, so Piotr went with Caroline to Toronto and Cincinnati.

Wozniacki fell in the opening round of both tournament, to Roberta Vinci in Toronto and to Christina McHale in Cincinnati. Piotr was heard yelling at the slumping Caroline when he came on court during her loss to McHale.
The identity of the new coach is so far unknown but is said to be a former touring pro.

Wozniacki's agent, Lagardere's John Tobias, confirmed to TENNIS.com that Piotr is stepping back, but said that no definitive hire of a new coach has been made yet.

Wozniacki has also worked with adidas Player Development coach Sven Groenefeld. Piotr Wozniacki, a former soccer player in Denmark, is said to have encouraged his daughter to try someone else out. Wozniacki, who has yet to win a Grand Slam, has been criticized for playing too defensively.

"We've heard from morning to night how Caroline should play," Piotr told the newspaper. "So now she tries something else. It is intended that she should be a very aggressive player. But as you can see, she cannot win matches right now, because she does not know how she should play. But whatever, I'm Caroline's father, and I will always support her."

She is scheduled to play in New Haven next week.

-- tennis.com

A few comments:

1) The Cibulkova “upset” at Wimbledon?

These are some of the players Domi’s beaten this year: Goerges at Wimbledon (R32), Sveta at Madrid (R64), Masha at Madrid (R32), Bepa at IW (R32).

Three of those have come in the last four months. You’ll note that the Wimbledon match in which Domi’s purported to have “upset” Caro was preceded by a win over Goerges– was that also an upset?

And here some of the players she’s lost to: Petra in Madrid (QF), Masha at Wimbledon (SF), and Marion in Stanford (SF).

We all know what a nutjob Domi can be and still is. There’s no point in defending her on that front – I think I might even prefer it that way.

But she’s also a top 20 player who’s reached the R16 or better at every Slam playing some of the best tennis of her life. Reading of her “upset”  above you’d think Caro had been routined by Christina McHale.

There’s getting defensive, and there’s putting your head in the sand.

Caro’s problems, whatever they might be, began well before Wimbledon with those consecutive losses she suffered to Goerges. Unless, of course, that too was an upset.

2) Not completely sure this is entirely a good or a bad move.

It’s certainly clear this is the first major crisis of her career. Not responding proportionally wouldn’t be wise. She’ll likely benefit from hearing a new voice. And that’s not even a knock on Piotr.

What’s not clear is what direction that new voice will take her in. Her stated ambition is more aggression. Much as the world has been calling for this, is that even possible? Probably, but to what degree?

Tennis is a game of organic growth –  with very few exceptions, you don’t suddenly wake up one morning and remould your groundstrokes. Doing so usually (and sometimes irrevocably) turns you into a different player and mostly proves counterproductive.

But there’s a bigger issue at stake. Much as aggression is being touted as her Holy Grail (and it is precisely that), the fact remains she was winning these types of matches just six months back. Whatever the issue is it may run deeper than any single technicality can account for. Whilst it’s simply indisputable that Caro will benefit from more aggression, she might still wind up losing matches, whether that’s under Piotr, Navratilova or the Cookie Monster.

3) Piotr’s Piotr..

Whatever your thoughts him (of which there are many) or on her game (of which there are also many), the fact remains she made world #1 under his tutelage.

Personally, I don’t think the very intense image of him hollering at her, comparing her to a “junior”, with her staring vacantly off into the distance during her loss to McHale, did anyone much good.

But they do seem to have a good relationship – and if they don’t, the fact is we simply don’t know any better. She may simply have come as far as she can with him. They may even be parting to preserve/strengthen that familial bond. Easy to forget that during the inevitable snarkfest that this episode will inevitably provoke.



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Rogers Cup: Bad things happen to good people and to multimillionaire tennis players with high rankings

Losing a few big names in the early rounds is no big deal – it’s almost part of the deal and may even prove beneficial.

Lose Caro, Rafa, Murray, Delpo and Kim in the space of 48 hours and its clear you’re dealing with chaos.

And any post purporting to “explain” chaos is, well, part of the problem.

That doesn’t mean I don’t think there’s any reasons for what’s happening: I don’t think you can dismiss the role of the July layoff, for example – Murray, from what I remember (which is frankly nothing), doesn’t always cope with that type of interval too well.

Rafa losing to a big hitting Croatian on a hard court? Seen that before. Being so horribly predictable under pressure it makes your eyes water? Seen that too. [full credit to Dodig for his muscly double-hander but he shouldn’t have been given so many of them to begin with]  

Injuries, withdrawals? That’s just the fabric of tennis reality.

Perhaps the only real surprise is that it should all happen at once – a statistical anomaly, nothing more, nothing less.

All of which is to say is, the sh*t sometimes hits the fan.

And I don’t even think its that much of a big deal . Nor do I think we should be bending over backwards trying to “explain” it.

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Wimbledon: Reckless

Cibulkova d. Wozniacki 1-6, 7-6, 7-5

I make no secret of my love for diminutive firecrackers – its one of many weaknesses.

This was supposed to be the worst possible match up for her – Caro’s dogged resilience in eliciting errors from her opponents by getting them to play that dreaded “one more ball”, is supposed to be anthema to someone as reckless as Domi.

But somehow, it didn’t turn out that way. She was still as reckless as hell, but seemed to be less insistent on hitting the lines on every single shot, opting instead for a more measured (but equally aggressive) ball sent some 80% up the court.

I don’t know if that was a conscious decision (maybe something Zeljko introduced), but it worked a treat. It allowed her to construct rallies on her terms instead of simply going for broke on everything – that’s not something you normally see from her.

As for Caro, she was said to have turned up to her presser “beet red”, and went on to castigate herself for “not making more of her break point opportunities”. I hope that means she’s sensed a need to grow beyond being content merely eliciting errors (funny as it may sound, I actually want to see her improve) – it’s pretty frightening if it means anything else.

Besides, Domi won’t be the last player to call that particular bluff – Julia’s already done so twice in the last two months.

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Madrid: Yoolia ‘gorges’ on Caro

I had put together something about Julia that I didn’t get round to posting after her win in Stuttgart.  Let me correct that now.

Caro was FAR from her best  in Stuttgart – don’t let any dickhead tell you otherwise. The same cannot, however, be said of today.

Whilst Caro is clearly less comfortable on clay, I don’t know that this is a “clay” issue as much as it is a “badass” issue.

In any case, anyone that plays apologist to Caro, after Julia’s second consecutive win over the world #1, needs to be dragged aside and kicked down-under. Repeatedly if necessary, and until they “get it”.

At times out there (and certainly in Stuttgart) Julia was playing top 5 tennis – often under the type of pressure that has seen players “better” than her wilt time after time.

Twice in Stuttgart she saved set point with the kind of serve out wide I’ve only seen from Petra this year. She used the same serve to dig herself out of trouble today in a match that, quite frankly, most saw Caro winning – especially after she was treated for blisters in the 2nd set.

The crazy thing is that should place her in the category of big-hitting, one-dimensional nutjobs. Julia simply doesn’t fit that mould.

She’s almost entirely adept at the net, classy and secure enough to only fistpump/‘CMON’ her own winners (it can be done), and, best of all, remains both calm AND daring under pressure – both are necessary.

In other words, she called Caro’s bluff in a way that sets her apart form 95% of the competition.

 

I defy you not to like her.

(Pics: Getty)

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Miami: News and Views

 

1) Murray has officially parted ways with Corretja and is, one assumes, on the look out for a new coach. “Open to new opportunities”, or however it’s being framed. 


 
Lendl’s name has been in the mix for a few days. Some of the reaction to this has been as outrageous as it is predictable, with SKY viewers yesterday emailing alternatives ranging from JMac to Martina Navratilova to Maclaghan again…

No one explicitly dissed Lendl, but it’s very clear who they DON’T want.

Never mind that none of those other suggestions have put themselves forward.

Never mind that Lendl is an 8 time Slam winning former world #1 who might, you know, know a little something about success on tour.

I’m not saying it struck me as the obvious choice either (both are strong willed, though that might be EXACTLY what Murray needs), but it seems to me it ought at least to be tried before being so routinely dismissed.  Stranger things have happened.

My own somewhat cynical suspicion is that a legacy of dislike continues to pervade Lendl’s public persona – he certainly wasn’t out to win any popularity contests during his career. I’m still waiting to hear why that should have ANY bearing on his suitability as a coach.

Whatever the case, the truth is Muzz very likely represents GB’s best chance of winning a Slam for many years to come. Perhaps even decades. I hardly need to remind you that the next highest ranked Brit is James Ward at #213 – and this is actually better than things have ever been.

To be blunt about it, beggars can’t be choosy. And you could do a LOT worse than Lendl. Let us hope he doesn’t reconsider.

2) A few further things need to be said about Petko’s win over Caro. 


The first is that however well Petko played (and don’t let anyone tell you she didn’t), she simply wasn’t facing the Caro that has dominated the tour outside of the Slams, and that people so enjoy poking fun at.

Anyone that claims otherwise needs to explain away the whopping 52 UFEs from Caro that equates to over a hundred from anyone else. Good luck with that.

The second, is that this is a relatively new experience for Caro and one from which she’ll likely benefit. It brought home in the most stark way imaginable that she might be just as prone as any other top player to a bad day at the office.

I doubt it’ll cause her to substantially alter her game, but if it results in a few new wrinkles it will have been worth the pain.

The third, is that this anguish resulted in the emergence of a new shouty, screechy Caro that I’ve actually become rather fond of.

I doubt she’ll be around very much. Yesterday is likely to remain her finest “big screen” moment – expect her to fade away into a less-distinguished daytime TV career.

And finally, I’m still not a fan of Petko. Not at least in the way some people are. (I’m not wholly convinced by her game either – but there’s still time to improve upon that)

 

I realise that puts me very much in the minority. Fine by me.

I’ll certainly concede that she’s #goodfortennis, though I’ll hope you’ll give me leave not to succumb to the hopeless strain of infatuation that lead to en-masse Petko mini-raves after her win yesterday.

Word soon after was that she’s “bored” of the Petko dance and is looking for a new “thing”.  I was bored of it too – and pretty soon after the initial novelty wore off. She seems to me to be talented enough and charismatic enough to be above gimmicks like that.

And as far as a new “thing” is concerned, here’s a somewhat wacky idea: her new thing could be, you know, not having one.

 

3) Delpo’s 63 62 win over Sod was perhaps the greatest sign yet that he’s steadily progressing towards the top ten if not the top five in the not too distant future. You could infer all of that on the basis of the serve alone. It was also the most beleaguered form of underperformance I’ve seen from Sod in a long time. 


I’ve seen Sod play badly before: I’ve seen him thrown off balance, having trouble with the elements, and leaking UFEs of nearly every shade. I’ve not, however, seen him shank this many balls in a single match – say what you will about him, but that’s just not his style.

At the end of the match the stats showed that both men hit only 18 winners apiece. Two of the heaviest ball strikers of this generation only managed to conjure up 36 winners between them.

That tells me Delpo, despite being in his element, felt he didn’t need to hit many winners. And that Sod simply couldn’t.

None of this is to suggest that Delpo isn’t progressing entirely steadily and appropriately – it just could have been a very different match.

4) Pova’s win over Sam said more to me about where Sam is than it did about Pova.

Like Delpo, Pova got through doing exactly what she needed to, and not an iota more. Why would she?

The serve is still not under control, but really, neither was Sam’s. More worryingly, she wasn’t able to convincingly get Pova off balance the way her game is custom built to. and to which Pova is uniquely vulnerable to.

When she did manage to, it all had a laboured feel to it that speaks to me of a player struggling to cope.

And that kick serve we’re all so fond of musing over? The stats showed that Sam served only marginally better than Pova. That’s not a comparison anyone should be flattered by. 



 

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Miami: 52 = 100

These things happen. Even to the best of us. Or, you know, the most consistent of us.

I daresay it might even benefit her in the long time.

I really hope all those Neanderthals that pretend EVERY win by Caro is a case of her opponents’ capitulating, are as vociferous today about her errors.

52 UFEs from someone as passive as her equates with at least 100 from anyone else. That’s, like, a LOT to merely “explain way”.

Great win for Petko, but anyone pretending that Caro wasn’t struggling, perhaps as badly as she ever has, needs to be punched in the face. Repeatedly.

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Indian Wells: “The Anti-Commentariat”

She’s consistent in a way Marion is not. And, more tellingly in the last set, she’s fit in a way Marion is not. As far as I’m concerned, that makes her the better player.

I think I might have already said this, but Caro’s retrieving skills are her “Killer App”. You don’t have to like that, but you sell yourself very short indeed when you pretend she has no business being at the top of the game because of it. Razzle-dazzle winners are a means, not an end. Her “means” are very different: deal with it.

I think I might have said this already too, but Caro will almost certainly win a Slam. Damn Straight. With Kim, perhaps, only around for a year and a half more (if that), playing a Willams-patented restricted schedule until then, and now nursing a shoulder injury, its all but inevitable.

Personally, I have no problem with that.



Can we agree I have given her her due?

Good, because it appears it’s physically impossible for the mainstream to extend the same treatment to her opponents – most notably those that don’t fit the “bombshell” agenda that has nothing whatsoever to do with tennis.

I don’t like personal attacks on anyone. And the Marion hate has been out of control for YEARS. Whilst I consider it equally retarded, it’s worth remembering that the hate Caro has had to endure is still only a fraction of that of Marion’s and most of that is restricted to her style of play – not her weight, her fitness or looks, as is the case with Marion.

Marion’s an aloof, idiosyncratic, ferocious talent with attitude she’s not about to apologise to anyone for. I must have missed the part where this makes her Cruella de’Vil or, indeed, where its not her right to behave exactly as she sees fit.

Whilst she hasn’t always made life easier for herself (particularly in her dealings with her compatriots) and whilst that might preclude her from ever being your cup of tea, some of the barbed invective hurled her way has no place in civil discourse (try and imagine Caro receiving the same treatment after a bust up with Karen Barbat or Malou Ejdesgaard, assuming either of them are ever ranked high enough to be seriously considered a “compatriot”).

And I know not everyone will agree with this, but some of this “anti-commentary” has sometimes (subconsciously or otherwise) spilled over to the mainstream.



When Marion was routed 6-1 in the first set, the commies began speaking longingly (almost wistfully) of their wish for a Caro/Kim final. Whatever other thoughts you might have on that sentiment, it’s highly disrespectful to any competitor there on their merits. If you were troubled about the quality thus far, far better to say you wished for A FINAL, whoever the competitors. Would we have heard the same if it was Pova, Dani or any other “bombshell” playing Caro? I rather doubt it.

As it happens, Marion played a dud of a 1st set. But you wouldn’t know this if the mainstream commentary was your only take on the match. For them it was supposedly “all about about Caro” which Marion “had no answer to”. There’s no doubt Caro played an impeccable first set. Truly flawless. I’d expect nothing less from the world #1. It’s also true she was contending with Marion’s ‘D’ game for almost all of it: 90% of Marion’s returns being sent unconvincingly down the middle, right into Caro’s hitting zone. Unsurprisingly, Caro lapped it all up.

When the tables turned in set two, the “anti-commentary” painted a picture of Caro having “lost intensity”, rather than conceding (even in part) the very different tactics Marion brought to bear. 2-6.




Set three really was “all about Caro” – Marion, put up a brave fight, but was simply done physically. A familiar problem; one wonders how much she can do to mitigate against it. 6-3.

And for that in particular, I grant that Caro was the better player out there (indeed the best player of the week): consistency together with that level of fitness (and mobility) seems to me to be a perfect fit against a tour whose majority is comprised of players finding it difficult to stay in a long rally, let alone possessing the fitness commensurate with playing so many of them over three sets.

I’m not going to pretend Marion isn’t one of my favourite WTA players , and I know better than to foist her on you as Caro is thrust upon us. It’s also true that Caro is not my favourite player but I also know better than to attack her personally for that.

The “Anti-Commentariat” is unable to extend the same levels of courtesy to players they don’t like (and mostly for reasons that have very little to do with tennis).

Even as I write this, there’s not a single picture of Marion in Yahoo’s tennis photostream: that would be your ladies runner-up of Indian Wells – an event some call the “fifth-Slam”.

 

Still think some players aren’t unfairly promoted/demoted above and below others?

(Pics: Getty)

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