Stanford: This Descent into Despair just got Asymptotic

Morita d. Ivanovic 6-3, 7-5

This is not even funny or tragic anymore. I’m not even sure it qualifies as an upset. In fact, I don’t know what it is. It’s certainly not analysis-worthy any more. For one thing, there ain’t nothing there to analyse.

How many times do we need to be told that she has an ergonomically-challenged service toss?

Or that its all a problem of confidence?

YOU DON’T SAY.

Never fun to see any player struggling – let alone a Slam winning former #1.

And I REALLY  don’t buy into those continual attempts by some to lampoon her success and caricature her as a one-trip pony….a kid that got a lucky break.

Lest we forget, her rise (and arguably some of her best matches) came during 2006-2007 – a time when Serena, Venus, Pova and Henin were all very much in their prime and at the top of their game…..all at the same time. Call it what you want, but that ain’t no fluke.

Even so, 3 years is a long time, and unless you’re a fan (a big fan) and feel a need to fashion colourful laments on how, sink or swim, you’ll be there till the end, it’s likely better to just give her some room to regroup – and she will regroup even if that doesn’t mean winning another Slam or even a position in the top 5 ever again – and say nothing at all. So that’s what I’ll be doing.


 

Kirilenko d. Georges 6-2, 6-3

I know, I know, I don’t get it either.

To be honest I never really believed Julia would follow up on her success early on this year the way, say, Petra has. That doesn’t mean I consider this even a remotely acceptable result.

Having won Stuttgart, and made the semis of Madrid (beating Caro twice in the process *snigger*) she then failed to make the second week at either RG or Wimbledon.  That’s more than simply a letdown.

And now this: a first round exit to Kirilenko – a competent and likeable enough player, but not, quite frankly, in nearly the same league.

Or maybe she is. Maybe I’ve got Julia all wrong – predictions tend, after all, to be anything but predictable.  Maybe Julia will follow the more common debutante route of continuing to languish emerging only sporadically to bag a scalp that is as big as the blaze of publicity it commands.

Frankly, I’ve had my fill of that and am holding out for something better. And not just from Julia.
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Stanford: Pretty Sure This Qualifies as #Winning

6-0 6-0 in 47 mins.

And she didn’t face a single break point. Nor did she lose a single point on her first serve. Not one.

“It was me being focused,” Williams said. “I’ve always said if I play my best no one can beat me. Hopefully I can get back to that level.”

Hell, that’s not even a brag (let alone a humblebrag) – more like  a demonstrable law of nature.

Guess that means she’s “back”.

Except we’ve always known that words like that simply don’t feature in Serena’s tennis altereality (neither do “form” and “momentum”). And it bears repeating that Rodionova ain’t even a top 50 player – never has been. But then she ain’t canon fodder either…or, at least, not the type of canon fodder that fails to win even a single game.

So yeah, unsurprisingly surprising. Parrot green ecstasy for her fans. Crisis talks for her “not a fans” and players in her section of the draw. Speaking of which:

“She’s coming back and she’s winning again,” Kirilenko said of Williams. “I need to be focused every minute.”

I’m no Kiri fan, but you have to love how she takes the edge off her imminent destruction with the word “focus”. You can do it with almost anything:

“It’s no longer a question of when but if Murray will win a Slam….he needs to be focused every minute.”

“I’ve spent nearly three unsuccessful years trying to unify Quantum Mechanics with the General Theory of Relativity…..I need to be focused every minute.”

”The worlds biggest economy may default - may not even be able to send out welfare cheques come Tuesday next week…..we have to be focused every minute.”

Assuming Serena doesn’t catastrophically implode between now and Friday, or that “focus” isn’t all its cracked up to be (and it really isn’t, not in itself) Serena will meet Masha in R3.

YES I’ve heard about the “womance” (that is what they’re calling it right?):

“I really like playing Maria and I really admire her and never giving up and developing the confidence that she has… Always just walking around and having so much aplomb, it’s good. I always admired that, it’s really cool.”

…..NO it doesn’t surprise me that two of the greatest competitors this sport has ever seen should have something like mutual admiration.

But then neither do I think there’ll be anything other than cat claws, fire and brimstone on court come Friday. You really do need to focus if you do, and more than just “every minute”.

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New rule: Doubles clearly matters, when it’s as cute as this.

 

“The Art of Joy”.

 

 

It’s a little difficult to tell with her back being turned and I’ll admit she’s got nothing on MariKiri (no one has), but if anyone tells me Vika is “joyless” again…

 

Vika (muffled): “…can’t breath….cannnoot breath…”

 

 

 

The trophy in case you were wondering what all the fuss was about.

(Blimey, did someone just tell Kiri that she doesn’t get to keep it?)

 

A week ago, Kiri also picked up the doubles title in San Diego with Zheng Jie and..er…. Rafa/Djoko were ejected out of the first round of Toronto.

 

New rule: Doubles clearly matters, when it’s as cute as this.

 

(Images: Getty)

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Melbourne: Shaza MKO’d.

(Photo: Reuters)

M. Kirilenko d. M. Sharapova 7-6 (7-4) 3-6 6-4

Having never had a great deal of time for Maria-Kiri in the past, this win over Shaza ought to surprise me, except it doesn’t.

The few times I actually saw her play, I remember thinking that the pace on some of her groundstrokes could’ve and should’ve made her a contender, but that she lacked the consistency and belief to propel her to the top of the game – in other words, not that different from any of the other bright young things that fail to illuminate the WTA.

Yesterday was a slightly different story – though by the sounds of it, only for one set (which is all I saw).

During that set, MK played what is arguably the finest tennis of her career – Shaza’s groundies opened up well enough, but she quickly fell prey to those serving foibles of hers that have marred her way back since May of last year.

Soon afterwards, I switched off. Being 11 hours behind Oz means live coverage begins at the Witching Hour – and I wasn’t about to put off sleep for the ‘toil and trouble’ this match had now descended into.

MK had downsized back into her usual tentative self and Shaza, as I woke up to the news of this morning, had somehow found her way to 76 UFEs, making this her first opening round Slam exit since 2003.

And what did you all make of MK's shushing of the crowd (or Shaza?) upon winning match point - weren't these two meant to be the best of friends?

(Photo: Press Association)

A large part of being Shaza however, is about planning the fight back and sticking it to the soothsayers. In that respect at least, she was true to form:

"It's a bad day and you have to get on with your life. There are many worse situations in life," said the former world number one.

…

"A bad day's not going to stop me from doing what I love. I'm still going to go back on the court and work hard and perform. I'll be back here on a Saturday of the second week, so you'll watch."

(BBC)

Yeah, you watch.

It’s a shocker, but I can’t help feeling this isn’t the last ‘shock upset’ we’re destined to see with Shaza.

MK isn’t the worst player in the world – and playing her best against anyone leaking 76 UFEs, should have as good a chance as any of coming out on top.

Shaza’s still capable of kicking-butt at the highest levels, but I suspect those butt-kicking episodes are likely now to be more disconnected, born of a more carefully managed regime of pacing her shoulder – one in which playing at such a high level week-in week out no longer plays a part.

Her ranking might take a hit as a result of that (does that really matter?) – but if she plans it carefully, gets past those serving foibles, I’d like to think it won’t affect her at the Slams.

Except in this instance, it maybe did.

***

In other matches, Murray, Rafa, Delpo, Kimmie, Kuzzie, Dinara and Justine all through safely.

Not to be missed: Justine to play Dementieva in round two – yes as soon as that - the downside of making your retirements ‘pseudo’.

The upside for all the rest of us.

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