Who is Keyser Söze? And is he playing the USO?

 

So, tennis. Remember that?

 

Or a trimmed down version of what I care to comment on.

 

Big Rob reached the finals of Bastad before losing in three to Nico Almagro.

 

Nico admitted to having spent the night before thinking about how Sod might play and even said that he “tried to be him”.

 

I’m interested in how that works.  Is it like method acting?  Does it involve dolphins and jelly beans? Or dolphin-shaped jellybeans even?

 

Big Rob, meanwhile,  has now pulled out of Washington citing “personal reasons”.

 

Though not before this emerged.

 

 

…and the legend, evidently, wouldn’t let go.

 

They can be clingy like that.  Koala-bear clingy.

 

Coming into Russia’s Davis Cup Tie with the Argies, Kolya had this to say on his state of play:

 

"I haven't played for three months and have just had a couple of matches on grass, which I do not like," ... "So I cannot say right now how I am playing. Only time will tell."

 

Leaving aside his aversion to grass “which I do not like” much either, time did tell: a sorry tale of a 2nd round loss in Stuttgart followed by a 3rd round exit in Hamburg – an event he won last year.

 

That’s a loss of at least 400 points in Hamburg and counting, during what’s normally quite a prolific section of the season for him.

 

Word is he’s no longer being coached by Eduardo either. His wife Irena is. Make of that what you will.

 

Nole pulled out of LA citing “personal reasons” too.

 

The same event Muzzard just accepted a wildcard into.

 

It’s difficult to read too much into any of that. The trouble I find with this part of the season is no ones played enough tennis post-Wimby to be able to say anything substantive about their USO prospects and most of what’s going on isn’t broadcast here anyway.

 

 

There’s been the odd pic of a freshly-shorn ARod braving the Atlanta heat winning over Xavier Malisse. But to be honest I’m having a tough time believing that one’s even happening.

 

With that in mind it’s been curiously entertaining watching the whole Delpo situation unfold given that he hasn’t actually struck a ball in 7 months.

 

The train of thought goes something like this.

 

Delpo says he will be playing Thailand –> Which means Delpo might have recovered enough to play the USO –>Delpo will play the USO, or so it’s claimed –> Except, isn’t the USO a mandatory event? –> And Delpo hasn’t officially signalled his withdrawal either –> Which means what exactly?

 

Nothing mostly.

 

It also leaves us back where we started.

 

Thankfully Delpo took charge to confirm that whilst he’s improving he doesn't actually know when he’ll return.

 

Which is kinda what most people thought anyway.

 

Even so, a small part of me wishes he’d let the Twitter frenzy snowball even further – after all, Lord Lucan and Keyser Soze haven’t said they’re not playing the USO either.

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The Show Must Go On...

(Photo: BERTRAND GUAY/AFP/Getty Images)

Well we're going to have to confront the post-Rafa world at Roland Garros at some point (Rafalites, I suggest you come out from behind the sofa, your man seems to be taking it on the chin), the fans, the press and the players too - to them in particular it must seem a little bit like that scene in The Matrix when Neo is finally freed from his bondage and given a glimpse of the 'real world' for the first time.

Let's make no bones about this. A lot of these guys are now going to be entertaining very realistic notions of going all the way and actually winning this thing - and I'm not just talking about Federer and Murray.

I don't want to harp on about the whole Nadal-Soderling prickliness, but this take from John Wertheim made interesting reading. I particularly liked the observation that going for broke might be the only viable strategy against Nadal on clay, though I'd still say that you need to be playing as well as Soderling was today or Kohlshreiber was yesterday for it to have any effect. Else you just end up with a ton of UFEs. And a fresh supply of bagels and breadsticks.

But there was something else in there that sort of took me by surprise. We all know Robin gets under Nadal's skin like no other chemical element on earth it would seem. And I thought I'd heard most of the post match publicity generated by the unsavoury incident at Wimbledon 2007, as well as Nadal's opinions on Soderling. I never came across this one though:

"...You don't really do what Soderling did, considering how good Nadal is. But Nadal, afterwards, basically said this guy will have to justify for this in the afterlife. He basically said this guy was doomed to hell, which is sort of a weird thing to say, but particularly for Nadal, who pretty much goes out of his way to say nice things about everyone..."

That's pretty heavy stuff coming from anyone. It almost sounds like you're dealing with the Antichrist. Which of course makes for a sinister tennis match.

Speaking of which there's definitely something unearthly about what we've seen these past few days. All in an other-worldly-conspiracy-theories kind of a way.

This from our 'Netherworld Correspondent':

-- Reports are coming in that Bjorn Borg is actually the 2nd coming of a Necromancer from the 12th century, attempting to lead a holier life and resisting the pull of the Dark Side, now forced into making reluctant use of his dark arts in a desperate bid to protect his record of 5 RG titles by instilling his young Swedish underling Robin, with special powers. It worked. After winning his match Robin stepped through a portal (craftily disguised as the entrance to the players' locker room) that transported him instantly to a dimly lit antechamber somewhere in the outskirts of Stockholm, where he was commended by his Master on his efforts thus far. He also received further instructions on how to conduct his presser which of course he was transported back in time to make.

-- The other theory revolved around Roger Federer and that spell he had away from tennis after losing the Aussie Open final - not resting his back or training in any special physical way, but engaged as an understudy to 'Bjorn the Necromancer'. He's put what little he was able to learn to good use by bringing about the suspiciously early exit of not one but two of his current nemeses. All before the 2nd week. I'd watch your back if I were you Andy Murray.

Seriously now.

Rafalites feel free to skip this part.
...
...
That's good they've left. To all those remaining, I made up that junk about Borg and sorcery to help them get through this very difficult period. I'm not that pleased myself by his hasty departure but we've still got a week left at this Slam. And how crazily has this opened up the draw?

Well someone had to say it.

For the first time since 2007 it may not be ridiculous to suggest that Fernando Gonzales may make a Slam final.

Or that Andy Murray could win his first Slam on a surface he freely admits to being a shadow of himself on.

Or that Nikolay Davydenko could put right that blemish on his CV by finally making a Slam final.

Or that Roger Federer's dream of making a Career Grand Slam may not be as deluded as we once thought.

I'd better stop before I tempt fate. Or Robin Soderling.

Here's the thing though. The way I see it is Murray's got a tougher way through than Federer.

Federer practically owns everyone in his half of the draw, and aside from a heel thumping Jo-Willy smackdown I can't see anyone preventing him from making the final.

'Andrew' Murray on the other hand has to negotiate his way past Gonzo, a guy he has a 1-1 H2H with, and a much better clay courter IMO. After which he'll need to get past one of Davydenko (a superb clay courter) or Soderling ('a man possessed').

"Preparations are already under way for this year's trophy presentation ceremony"
(Photo: artpassions.net)

Mind you with the Mad Hatter's Tea Party we've had this week, I wouldn't be surprised to see a Soderling-Robredo final.
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