Friday, 10 September 2010

USO: Prudence.

 

 

I may as well say it.

 

I’m not at all comfortable with V’s chances against Kimmie.

 

 

They both underwent necessary detox in their last round. The less said about that the better.

 

Though you get the feeling that despite that wobble, Kim’s now clean and that it’s business as usual.

 

V? Not so much.

 

Her form’s actually been pretty good throughout the event, though still might rightly be described in the way the Cleggster wants to persuade us to think of the UK economic recovery: “choppy and uneven”.

 

So in that spirit of economic prudence, let me now declare an eleventh-hour outside interest.

 

This.

 

 

Actually, it’s more about spreading one’s risk more evenly as I haven’t actually given up on V, but still, let’s will THIS into existence too.

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Thursday, 9 September 2010

USO: “The Sod of Small Things"

 

 

Sod lasted three sets. I could only manage one.

 

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With everything that was being said about the wind in the build up to this match (that is if you can bring yourself to think of Caz/Domi as a build up), both Sod and Fed weathered(!) it well….too well. Far better than anyone had any right to expect.

 

With Sod displaying all the timing and shotmaking that’s made him a factor at any Slam he now enters but, above all, exhibiting, once again, the movement that simply doesn’t make scientific sense for tennis’s very-own 4 x 4 off-roader.

 

And Fed doing all of that….and serving as well as he has all year too.

 

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All the same, you don’t get to entertain big ideas of making the semis of a Slam, any Slam, against any player, even the best ever performing at his best ever, without putting the ball back in play. I don’t care how well they’re serving.

 

Which is what Sod was unable to do in Fed’s final two service games of the first set. That happens to be when I switched off (were the subsequent two sets substantially different?).

 

That’s 8 straight uncontested points off serves that, however well-placed or unreadable they might have been, weren’t nevertheless aces.

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Never mind the points deficit that creates, consider the mental wreckage and the subsequent tone that kind of momentum-shift sets for the remainder of the match.

 

It seems a big ask given how well Fed was serving (86% 1st serves won, 5/6 break points converted). It’s also exactly the kind of “small thing” Sod will need to improve if we’re to entertain any serious notion of him having regular success against the big boys.

 

A much easier ask then might be to serve more than only two aces over three sets: for someone as adept as Sod that’s simply inexcusable.

 

Not that any of this would have substantially altered the result. I’ve learnt to treat the appearance of Fed’s half volley winner off the baseline as a sign that he’s hit top gear -it’s disrespectful of relativity itself.

 

But if we’re honest, Fed can’t actually be relied on to produce those kinds of performances with the regularity he once exhibited.

 

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Which begs the question whether or not he’s given over the best part of himself to this event already.

 

Personally I think not. But then neither do I believe he’ll have to play quite as well as last night to get past Djoko who, for all his confidence and form coming into this, can only be too aware of the kind of threat a Fed in this form poses.

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USO: He-Man

 

 

By the power of Grayskull!

 

 

    

I have the POWER!

 

Verdasco d. Ferrer  5-7 6-7 6-3- 6-3 7-6

 

 

Aus 2009 folks: Let’s will it into existence.

 

 

Minion Gene: Let’s inbreed it out of existence.

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Wednesday, 8 September 2010

USO: Embrace the Fug.

 

Let me set the record straight about something.

 

Contrary to the impression I might give with the virulent way in which I sometimes actively root against her, I don’t actually hate Kim Clijsters.

 

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In fact, I don’t have anything against her at all.

 

The reasons I do it, in increasing order of precedence, are:

 

a) I think she had her share of success and Grand Slam glory last year.

 

b) I think she had MORE than her fair share of media adulation that goes along with that glory and, of course, for being “MamaKim”.

 

c) I’ve never been able to warm to her in the way I have to the supremely talented, amateurish tomboy that is Sveta or the crude, dorky, deliciously devastating jellybean that is the Sod.

 

That last one is of prime importance.

 

I like my players to be both glaringly defective and, if possible, insanely talented.

 

When they come through it makes the victory that much sweeter as they’ve overcome a whole host of factors and circumstances not least of which is their own soul. 

 

The common denominator appears to be that most of them have little or no control (or, it seems, interest) over how they choose to present themselves. And perhaps as a result, give more of their natural unrehearsed selves over to you both in triumph and in disaster.

 

Think Marat, think Ivan Llendl – think any current female Italian player.

 

All of which brings me back to Kim. I don’t hold it against her that she doesn’t rile or rage the way some players do. We hardly need be reminded that there’s an ugly side to that too.

 

I’m not even suggesting that her happy, sunny disposition is carefully “manufactured” for media consumption.

 

For all we know, the very measured competence she projects is her modus operandi. It probably was even back in her first career when she was, so often, overcome by the frailty that, to a far lesser degree, still returns to haunt her.

 

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All the same it was easier to root for her back then – it’s the law of the underdog, I’m afraid.

 

I much preferred the natural grit and intimidatory mechanics of Mary Pierce’s groundies but was right behind Kimmie when she took her first Slam here 5 years back. There seemed to be something vaguely moral about it.

 

The point is, she’s always been far too measured for me to warm up to. Or to even develop an opinion on.

 

On court that sort of singular focus is perhaps her greatest asset. Of court, I’m afraid I don’t much care for it.

 

None of this is her fault - she’s just not built the way those others are.

 

All of which is an incredibly long-winded way of saying that it’s for precisely those reasons that I loved the following pictures of her.

 

 

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Anyone that saw the match (I’m now sorry I didn’t), knows what a train wreck it was.

 

Stosur and Kimmie exchanged nine breaks in ten service games – a total of 16 breaks in all.

 

Clijsters would make 8 DFs and 43 UFEs before serving it out with an ace, 6-4, 5-7, 6-3.

 

Kim’s not pretending she didn’t know this:

 

"After the match, I was like, 'How did I win this?' I didn't feel like I was playing well; Sam is a good player," Clijsters said, "so I was just kind of talking to my coach and fitness coach and just [saying], 'Wow. What just happened? How did I win?"

-- tennis.com

 

 

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Look at how supremely confident she is in her own fug. How comfortable she is in the skin of her mediocrity.

 

 

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  9b2e107601dd8d2d9b9f651fa0895292-getty-ten-us_open-clijsters-stosur

She’s practically rubbing it in our face.

 

 

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Did I rock the shithouse or what?

 

Aye, you did sister.

 

And I love you for it.

 

Embrace the fug and I’ll love you more.

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USO: I just happen to like Bepa more…

 

 

 

 

  

Ok look, I like Petko too.

 

And I know that she’s charmed the socks off everyone with her happy-wiggles, her various and wide-ranging video musings, blogging, and quips on her twitter account.

 

And perhaps last night’s beatdown (coz that’s what it plainly was) was a little too close to the bone.

 

Personally, I found this a little try-hard, but it’s clear that she’s quirky, bright and a valuable addition to the game.

 

 

Pardon me, however,  if I’m not quite as torn up.

 

A top ten WTA player beat up on a top fifty player. Clearly we can’t complain enough about this.

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Tuesday, 7 September 2010

USO: The Semantics of Push.

 

There’s only so long you can go on bitching before you come across as a sore, grizzled, grumpy old fart.

 

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Not that I embrace this supposed new world order just yet – she still needs to actually win this thing to justify her #1 seeding (preferably by knocking out a supremely confident Kim Clijsters) but it would be folly to continue to doubt her capabilities, or indeed to continue to deride her as a “pusher”.

 

A few grumpy, farty, though no less GLARING caveats and we’ll be good to go:

 

1) There’s still too much of the “backboard” in you Caz.

 

Around 80% of it to be clear.

 

The trouble with the term “push” is  that everyone seems to have their own exotic understanding of it. Probe them further and they normally sub-categorise into aggressive & non-aggressive counterpunching. I normally lose interest at that point.

 

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Which is why I prefer the term ‘backboard’: someone whose only tennis mandate is to wait for you to make a mistake. Immediately clear to everyone what we’re dealing with.

 

There’s other levels of “push” of course (counterpunching of the aggressive and non-aggressive variety), though that’s the one I normally find objectionable.

 

And in that sense at least, Caz is no longer “just a pusher”. Since San Diego (and quite possibly before) she’s developed a quite robust ability to make good on her opportunities, open up the court and even belt the occasional decent winner down the line.

 

That makes her perhaps 80% of the backboard she was this time last year. Amongst other things, that means I still have her down as a backboard.

 

Only that might be Ok as she seems to be pushing(!) in the right direction to decrease that 80% “backboarding average”.

 

2) I’ve no time for anyone who thinks Caz didn’t profit hugely from a Masha meltdown.

 

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Caz is young, fit, healthy and has worked incredibly hard on her game, but still won the vast majority of her points last night by simply putting the ball back in play (a mere 16 winners) and waiting for Masha to implode. Which of course she did, serving up 9 double faults and 36 UFEs in the process.

 

No mean feat – the athleticism required to chase down some of those balls belongs squarely in the top five – all the same, it might have been a somewhat different story had Masha actually made more of the types of winners we saw earlier on.

 

***

 

The easiest way to silence me and any other critics Caz, would be to go out and beat a top five player in their element – preferably a former Slam winner, preferably Kim Clijsters, though not the one that lost 6-1 6-0 to Petrova earlier this year (very important sub-caveat).

 

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If you can do that, I may not like it -- in fact I’ll almost certainly continue to root against you as I don’t much go in for the “manufactured sunshine” look -- but as far as I’m concerned, you can play any brand of tennis you want.

 

You can do that, or you can sit around here and discuss the semantics of “push” with me…

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USO: Imagine.

 

Didn’t quite work out.

 

Archived so we might remember.

 

John Lennon would have been proud Reeshie.

 

 

 

Imagine no fear of failure,

It’s easy if you try,

No frailty, no indecision,

No Pamela nearby..

 

Imagine all the people,

Living the harmony…

 

Imagine there’s no doubles,

It isn’t hard to do,

Only single-handed backhands,

No UFEs too…

 

Imagine all the people,

in single-handed glee..

 

Imagine there’s no confusion

It isn’t hard to do

No weight of expectation

And no delusion too…

 

Imagine all the people,

sharing all the world,

 

You may say that I’m a dreamer,

BUT I SURE AS **** AM NOT THE ONLY ONE….

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